What did you do with your wedding photos if your divorce was acrimonious?

[Anonymous]

In a box and could storage. For the kids. It is not this deep.

[Anonymous]

My grandma turned my ex uncle into a tree in all the wedding photos. He was a real jerk but my granddad died shortly after the wedding so it was some of the last nice photos of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I removed all of my ex’s pictures and his family and tossed them. Ex was an archivist of memories and nostalgia and has no problem keeping a tape from 1997 of a band he heard on the radio…or his book report from sophomore year of college. However he did not hesitate to give me all of our marriage related mementos because he no longer cared. I think he assumed I’d serve as the family archivist after he moved on with AP. In the trash they went. I kept pictures of me and my family.

Or he wanted to hurt your feelings and AP wouldn't have let him keep them in the house.

I would not be surprised if AP pushed him to eradicate our family memories. He literally previously kept everything. He loved mementos, artifacts from the past. He kept things I had no idea that he kept. He returned everything- the cards I had written to him over the years, pictures. He was deleting our past and I found it insulting that he gave everything to me. I’m not the national f—- archives, so I trashed that crap.

Sounds like you treated him horribly for him to do that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I removed all of my ex’s pictures and his family and tossed them. Ex was an archivist of memories and nostalgia and has no problem keeping a tape from 1997 of a band he heard on the radio…or his book report from sophomore year of college. However he did not hesitate to give me all of our marriage related mementos because he no longer cared. I think he assumed I’d serve as the family archivist after he moved on with AP. In the trash they went. I kept pictures of me and my family.

Or he wanted to hurt your feelings and AP wouldn't have let him keep them in the house.

I would not be surprised if AP pushed him to eradicate our family memories. He literally previously kept everything. He loved mementos, artifacts from the past. He kept things I had no idea that he kept. He returned everything- the cards I had written to him over the years, pictures. He was deleting our past and I found it insulting that he gave everything to me. I’m not the national f—- archives, so I trashed that crap.

Sounds like you treated him horribly for him to do that

AP found the thread.

[Anonymous]

I am the child of an acrimonious divorce. And I have no memories of them being together at all. I have never known them to even be in the same room with each other comfortably.

My aunts sent me a few photos as an adult of my parents. Their wedding and some pictures of them with me as a baby looking happy. I actually found them to be incredibly meaningful and I was not expecting that as I had long long ago thought any sentimentality about their relationship was irrelevant to my life. But it did mean something.

I'll tell you one thing though...this kind of mentality:

I suppose for our kids' sake I should keep a couple of actual photos though I'm not really sure why....is there a reason to or can I cut him out of all the photos?

Is going to equal a bad-for-your-children environment. You are centering your feelings when your children's lives are being blown up. They will have a ton of feelings about this, feelings that change and evolve as they grow. I still have feelings about this and I'm 40. This is something that will shape their life. And it literally doesn't matter what happened or who the bad guy is or what caused this, something bad happened to them that they have no part in.

Keep this in the forefront of your mind when you are deciding to do something petty or mean or make a snide comment about your ex. He will always be their dad, and people with crappy dads don't need someone to tell them their dad is crappy to know it (if he is). When they grieve this, act like you would a friend telling you that something terrible and unexpected happened to them, with compassion and care. Don't turn their greatest trauma into a joke.

[Anonymous]

I keep mine in a storage closet. I couldn’t get rid of it because it has so many beautiful pictures of deceased family members, including my mother.

[Anonymous]

We both pitched them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the child of an acrimonious divorce. And I have no memories of them being together at all. I have never known them to even be in the same room with each other comfortably.

My aunts sent me a few photos as an adult of my parents. Their wedding and some pictures of them with me as a baby looking happy. I actually found them to be incredibly meaningful and I was not expecting that as I had long long ago thought any sentimentality about their relationship was irrelevant to my life. But it did mean something.

I'll tell you one thing though...this kind of mentality:

I suppose for our kids' sake I should keep a couple of actual photos though I'm not really sure why....is there a reason to or can I cut him out of all the photos?

Is going to equal a bad-for-your-children environment. You are centering your feelings when your children's lives are being blown up. They will have a ton of feelings about this, feelings that change and evolve as they grow. I still have feelings about this and I'm 40. This is something that will shape their life. And it literally doesn't matter what happened or who the bad guy is or what caused this, something bad happened to them that they have no part in.

Keep this in the forefront of your mind when you are deciding to do something petty or mean or make a snide comment about your ex. He will always be their dad, and people with crappy dads don't need someone to tell them their dad is crappy to know it (if he is). When they grieve this, act like you would a friend telling you that something terrible and unexpected happened to them, with compassion and care. Don't turn their greatest trauma into a joke.

Kids are adults. We are empty nesters. There are plenty of photos of Mom and Dad together and with kids remaining. I'm not sure this is going to inflict the trauma on my kids that you are hoping it will. It's more like what do *I* want to do with these photos that no longer serve a place in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the child of an acrimonious divorce. And I have no memories of them being together at all. I have never known them to even be in the same room with each other comfortably.

My aunts sent me a few photos as an adult of my parents. Their wedding and some pictures of them with me as a baby looking happy. I actually found them to be incredibly meaningful and I was not expecting that as I had long long ago thought any sentimentality about their relationship was irrelevant to my life. But it did mean something.

I'll tell you one thing though...this kind of mentality:

I suppose for our kids' sake I should keep a couple of actual photos though I'm not really sure why....is there a reason to or can I cut him out of all the photos?

Is going to equal a bad-for-your-children environment. You are centering your feelings when your children's lives are being blown up. They will have a ton of feelings about this, feelings that change and evolve as they grow. I still have feelings about this and I'm 40. This is something that will shape their life. And it literally doesn't matter what happened or who the bad guy is or what caused this, something bad happened to them that they have no part in.

Keep this in the forefront of your mind when you are deciding to do something petty or mean or make a snide comment about your ex. He will always be their dad, and people with crappy dads don't need someone to tell them their dad is crappy to know it (if he is). When they grieve this, act like you would a friend telling you that something terrible and unexpected happened to them, with compassion and care. Don't turn their greatest trauma into a joke.

Kids are adults. We are empty nesters. There are plenty of photos of Mom and Dad together and with kids remaining. I'm not sure this is going to inflict the trauma on my kids that you are hoping it will. It's more like what do *I* want to do with these photos that no longer serve a place in my life.

Hoping? Kids of divorce do not hope other kids of divorce suffer.

I’m glad they are adults. It will make it easier and that’s great. I would offer them the photos before throwing them away.

I understood quite clearly this is about what you want. Having an extremely acrimonious with your divorce while your children are adults will still negatively effect them if you drag them into the middle. I hope you refrain. But you come off rather peevish and not like their feelings matter too much. What I do hope is that just comes from defensiveness at feeling judged by an internet stranger and not reflective of your actual life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the child of an acrimonious divorce. And I have no memories of them being together at all. I have never known them to even be in the same room with each other comfortably.

My aunts sent me a few photos as an adult of my parents. Their wedding and some pictures of them with me as a baby looking happy. I actually found them to be incredibly meaningful and I was not expecting that as I had long long ago thought any sentimentality about their relationship was irrelevant to my life. But it did mean something.

I'll tell you one thing though...this kind of mentality:

I suppose for our kids' sake I should keep a couple of actual photos though I'm not really sure why....is there a reason to or can I cut him out of all the photos?

Is going to equal a bad-for-your-children environment. You are centering your feelings when your children's lives are being blown up. They will have a ton of feelings about this, feelings that change and evolve as they grow. I still have feelings about this and I'm 40. This is something that will shape their life. And it literally doesn't matter what happened or who the bad guy is or what caused this, something bad happened to them that they have no part in.

Keep this in the forefront of your mind when you are deciding to do something petty or mean or make a snide comment about your ex. He will always be their dad, and people with crappy dads don't need someone to tell them their dad is crappy to know it (if he is). When they grieve this, act like you would a friend telling you that something terrible and unexpected happened to them, with compassion and care. Don't turn their greatest trauma into a joke.

Kids are adults. We are empty nesters. There are plenty of photos of Mom and Dad together and with kids remaining. I'm not sure this is going to inflict the trauma on my kids that you are hoping it will. It's more like what do *I* want to do with these photos that no longer serve a place in my life.

Hoping? Kids of divorce do not hope other kids of divorce suffer.

I’m glad they are adults. It will make it easier and that’s great. I would offer them the photos before throwing them away.

I understood quite clearly this is about what you want. Having an extremely acrimonious with your divorce while your children are adults will still negatively effect them if you drag them into the middle. I hope you refrain. But you come off rather peevish and not like their feelings matter too much. What I do hope is that just comes from defensiveness at feeling judged by an internet stranger and not reflective of your actual life.

You're tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the child of an acrimonious divorce. And I have no memories of them being together at all. I have never known them to even be in the same room with each other comfortably.

My aunts sent me a few photos as an adult of my parents. Their wedding and some pictures of them with me as a baby looking happy. I actually found them to be incredibly meaningful and I was not expecting that as I had long long ago thought any sentimentality about their relationship was irrelevant to my life. But it did mean something.

I'll tell you one thing though...this kind of mentality:

I suppose for our kids' sake I should keep a couple of actual photos though I'm not really sure why....is there a reason to or can I cut him out of all the photos?

Is going to equal a bad-for-your-children environment. You are centering your feelings when your children's lives are being blown up. They will have a ton of feelings about this, feelings that change and evolve as they grow. I still have feelings about this and I'm 40. This is something that will shape their life. And it literally doesn't matter what happened or who the bad guy is or what caused this, something bad happened to them that they have no part in.

Keep this in the forefront of your mind when you are deciding to do something petty or mean or make a snide comment about your ex. He will always be their dad, and people with crappy dads don't need someone to tell them their dad is crappy to know it (if he is). When they grieve this, act like you would a friend telling you that something terrible and unexpected happened to them, with compassion and care. Don't turn their greatest trauma into a joke.

Kids are adults. We are empty nesters. There are plenty of photos of Mom and Dad together and with kids remaining. I'm not sure this is going to inflict the trauma on my kids that you are hoping it will. It's more like what do *I* want to do with these photos that no longer serve a place in my life.

Hoping? Kids of divorce do not hope other kids of divorce suffer.

I’m glad they are adults. It will make it easier and that’s great. I would offer them the photos before throwing them away.

I understood quite clearly this is about what you want. Having an extremely acrimonious with your divorce while your children are adults will still negatively effect them if you drag them into the middle. I hope you refrain. But you come off rather peevish and not like their feelings matter too much. What I do hope is that just comes from defensiveness at feeling judged by an internet stranger and not reflective of your actual life.

You're tiresome.

Better than being childish when I'm so grown I have adult children

[Anonymous]

She had our wedding photos. No idea what happened to them. I assume they went into the trash. We never had any like hanging on the wall or anything to begin with. I'm pretty sure they were in an album that was kept in like an end table kind of thing. We never broke them out at any point. I have a video or two, though, that I converted from family movies. Not sure what to do with it/them. Just keep them buried deep in the computer files for now, I guess.