Travel vent: Disney with others

[Anonymous]

I suspect the other parents would prefer their kids aren't eating so much crap.

[Anonymous]

I would treat the cousins, but with my siblings, it would be a two-way street. Just ask your sister to cover park snacks for the day, since you did it yesterday.

[Anonymous]

This is part of why I don't enjoy traveling with other families. We don't buy a zillion treats and souvenirs (nor particularly want our kids to have them even if somebody else is treating, or the obligation to reciprocate).

[Anonymous]

Just to see it from their perspective, maybe they don't want to purchase these items. Then when you do with your kid, they are put in the position of having to also buy them or be the mean parent and say no. if it were me, I would take the kid separately to get whatever treat it is or cut down on them. Of course the other kids also want it when they see you buying it for your child.

[Anonymous]

You really need to be selective about who you travel with - and where.

We were pretty opposed to traveling with other families until a family illness + COVID had us shacked up with another family for 6 weeks. We learned each other's rhythms and that we get along well together. We're spending our third consecutive winter break together. We just take turns picking up meals - and no one is keeping track. I would be super-annoyed if I was picking up everything. I'd just have to say something - and recommend you do, too.

[Anonymous]

The children aren't going to feel bad if you tell them to ask their parents. That's what children do - ask their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to see it from their perspective, maybe they don't want to purchase these items. Then when you do with your kid, they are put in the position of having to also buy them or be the mean parent and say no. if it were me, I would take the kid separately to get whatever treat it is or cut down on them. Of course the other kids also want it when they see you buying it for your child.

I would talk to your sister but this is possibly part of it. I am very conscientious of this when I travel with others and my kids know that when there are other kids there, we need to be discreet about asking for things as parents have different threshholds for what they are willing and able to buy. We recently went away for the weekend with another family and they were buying ridculous (in my opinion) snacks--$14 ice cream sundae that the kid decided he didn't want immediately followed by a $6 cupcake that he only ate half of. My kid knows there is no way that would happen with me and picked a scoop of ice cream that was still more than I would ever spend if we weren't on vacation. But it just makes it awkward when you aren't on the same page with that kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m on a family trip to Disney + universal. This is a trip I saved for so that me and my son could go along with his cousins - my sister and brother in law. Financially speaking / we hover around the same income. But I find whenever my son wants something - his cousins soon come following and the budget i have for my son now gets extended by 3. It started with a pretzel, then a holiday cookie, then a transformers toy and after it became too much- I told my niece/nephew thru need to ask their own parents to buy : insert whatever.

We have 1 more park to go. How do I avoid this without making the children feel bad or making my child miss out on something we agreed to allow him to get? The parents won’t step in and surely aren’t offering to buy my son a snack or a toy.

So you hover around the same income, but they are paying for three kids and you are paying for one - except for there treats? You definitely have the income edge here.

Just talk with your sister about expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on a family trip to Disney + universal. This is a trip I saved for so that me and my son could go along with his cousins - my sister and brother in law. Financially speaking / we hover around the same income. But I find whenever my son wants something - his cousins soon come following and the budget i have for my son now gets extended by 3. It started with a pretzel, then a holiday cookie, then a transformers toy and after it became too much- I told my niece/nephew thru need to ask their own parents to buy : insert whatever.

We have 1 more park to go. How do I avoid this without making the children feel bad or making my child miss out on something we agreed to allow him to get? The parents won’t step in and surely aren’t offering to buy my son a snack or a toy.

So you hover around the same income, but they are paying for three kids and you are paying for one - except for there treats? You definitely have the income edge here.

Just talk with your sister about expectations.

It's not her responsibility to buy shit for her sister's kids just because they decided to have more than her.

[Anonymous]

Where are your sister and BIL when their kids are asking you? Aren't all of you together?

Do your sister and BIL just think all the food and treats you're buying them were free or come out of thin air? Your story doesn't make sense unless you left out that their parents are right there, ignoring and not doing anything.

Why can't you speak up and talk to your sister like a normal adult?

[Anonymous]

Not sure why you paid for toys for them (pretzel yes).

Just say, “ask your parents.”

Or, before you go, say to the parents, “Do you want to give them any sending money? We are heading to the store and I have told Larlo he can pick out a souvenir.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to see it from their perspective, maybe they don't want to purchase these items. Then when you do with your kid, they are put in the position of having to also buy them or be the mean parent and say no. if it were me, I would take the kid separately to get whatever treat it is or cut down on them. Of course the other kids also want it when they see you buying it for your child.

This. I don't like wasting money on junk food or crap souvenirs, so I wouldn't buy it for my kid. And it's annoying when we're with others that do buy crap all the time. The difference is that after the first or second instance of this (where the other parent buys my kid something unneeded), I would make a conscious effort to keep my own kids away from the store/concession stand when the other family goes to it.

At the next park, if you want to buy stuff for your kid only then you two should break off for a bit and explore on your own. Then both families get a break from each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on a family trip to Disney + universal. This is a trip I saved for so that me and my son could go along with his cousins - my sister and brother in law. Financially speaking / we hover around the same income. But I find whenever my son wants something - his cousins soon come following and the budget i have for my son now gets extended by 3. It started with a pretzel, then a holiday cookie, then a transformers toy and after it became too much- I told my niece/nephew thru need to ask their own parents to buy : insert whatever.

We have 1 more park to go. How do I avoid this without making the children feel bad or making my child miss out on something we agreed to allow him to get? The parents won’t step in and surely aren’t offering to buy my son a snack or a toy.

So you hover around the same income, but they are paying for three kids and you are paying for one - except for there treats? You definitely have the income edge here.

Just talk with your sister about expectations.

It's not her responsibility to buy shit for her sister's kids just because they decided to have more than her.

Sure, it’s not her responsibility, but they are traveling as a group. OP chose this. Now she’s complaining about buying an ice cream cone or a cookie for her niece and nephew. That’s petty.

[Anonymous]

Disney with others is miserable. We finally went by ourselves just us, and it was so much fun.

[Anonymous]

3 most important words for Disney: Pay the Mouse

Embrace this and you will be at peace