If your child is social/popular amongst peers in MS/HS what is their personality like?
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Anonymous
If you and/or your kids think there is simply “social” or “not social” and there is not really a hierarchy or a popularity factor, I can assure you it is because they fall into the popular category and so therefore don’t even give it a thought. It’s non-existent to them. “Can I just say that we don’t have a clique problem at this school….snd sone of us should t have to take this workshop because we’re just victims here….” ~Regina George |
Anonymous
lol how is this new to you, OP? |
Anonymous
Speaking as a shy kid, this is not really news! Any definition of popular is going to involve the kind of attention and interaction shy introverts don't excel at. My MS DD seems to be well liked by everybody, but not the 'it' kid everybody revolves around. She can be loud and funny, but mostly she's kind and easygoing. Helps that she's conventionally pretty. |
Anonymous
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My 17 yo is I guess you could say. Although she was not in middle school.
She’s a quick talker and quick on her feet verbally. She’s equally comfortable with boys and girls and makes friends easily with boys. I’d say her personality is a bit more like a teenage boy in that she doesn’t take offense to much, isn’t at all sensitive. She is really extroverted and also socially impulsive in that she will hang out with people she barely knows if they seem fun and she’s invited. She is good about inviting and including others (she’s been like this since preschool) and unlike most ppl her age has successfully mixed her friends from different groups. She tends to take the lead in organizing and asking socially. She’s independent, involved in various EC, has had jobs, was one of the first to drive of her friends. She loves to go to parties, she’s a bit gossipy but not super mean, she tends to have a lot of “lore” and yes social drama. She’s also blonde, thin but curvy, and likes fashion which being good looking helps but there are plenty of not super attractive popular people. Truthfully her looks and somewhat insensitive way of talking/joking causes problems in some of female friendships though. |
Anonymous
Pp of the popular 17 yo and my 14 yo daughter is like yours !! I wouldn’t call her shy but she’s not at all socially forward and sticks to her established friendships. Not popular but people know her at school and well liked, definitely not unpopular. My girls are very different but I feel pretty secure in themselves which attracts people |
Anonymous
| Resilient, optimistic, smiles a lot, hard worker, genuine, |
Anonymous
The really loud show offy kids who veer into obnoxious tend to be popular in middle school but have burned too many bridges by high school. The same kids popular in middle school don’t be the same as the ones in high school I’ve noticed. Although some kids in the popular social groups but not THE leaders of it often maintain their spots |
Anonymous
This is your big theory? |
Anonymous
| Not the OP that responded that, someone trolling! |
Anonymous
| I have a very well liked introvert. He isn’t in the super popular partying crowd. He is in the smart athletic crowd, which seems to be a subgroup of the bigger group. My kid is good looking and very athletic. All his friends are good looking, smart and athletic. They are the good popular kids compared to the partying drinking drug crowd with poor grades. |
Anonymous
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My child considers himself shy but he’s had lots of friends since pre-school. He’s smart ( but not straight A’s), kind, sensible, trustworthy, and he lets things roll off his back. He’s athletic and good-looking.
His friends are mostly the same since elementary school. |
Anonymous
| Mine is not loud or extroverted, but she has loads of friends. I'm told that she's a good friend, listens well, gives good advice, is trustworthy, and has a strong moral code. She's not drama prone, and is good at diffusing tensions. She's also smart and has nerdy pursuits, but she's popular in spite of it, not because of it. |
Anonymous
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Mine has turned into a party girl and claims it’s what everyone else is doing. She’s popular but running in a crowd I’m not in love with. She’s not loud, but she’s very self assured, cute and athletic in a place with a lot of awkward kids.
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Anonymous
Could be, but neither of my DCs fit this profile. (Boy and girl, both in high school, ages 17 and 14.) Neither kids is loud or the life of the party. Neither needs (or wants) to be the center of attention. They’re certainly fun and extraverted when they’re with their closest friends, but they don’t otherwise assert themselves a ton in social groups. Overall, I tend to think of them both as social introverts. (DH is similar. I’m more of a traditional extravert.) Yet both kids have a ton of friends. Both have always been included in different groups of kids that don’t tend to mix much otherwise. In addition to the various groups, they each have a handful of close friends. But neither seems to be the dominant force in their friendships or their friend groups. I’d say both kids are just easy to get along with. It sounds simple, but I think it’s their defining trait socially, going all the way back to daycare/preschool. Both kids tend to go with the flow - they adapt to their circumstances, find common ground/interests, and don't tend to criticize or complain about other people, unless something is truly unfair or outrageous. (This last part is rare, so when they do, we take it seriously because there’s always something real there.) The other thing I’d say is that both kids are very comfortable in their skin. Again, this goes back to daycare/preschool. They’ve never been particularly sensitive kids. Neither is anxious or easily upset. Drama has a way of flowing over/past them. They’re aware of it all, but rarely if ever triggered, and not super interested in talking about it. (They’re a lot like DH that way. Similar temperament.) Finally, I’d say both do a good job of self-regulating. They seem ok opting out of plans or spending time chilling out solo when they’re tired or need a break from other people. No FOMO. No social anxiety. What you see is what you get. |
Anonymous
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“Popular” kids in DD’s school are having parties with alcohol, sex and vaping.
I’m fine with her “unpopular” friend group that focuses on academics. |