Reply to If your child is social/popular amongst peers in MS/HS what is their personality like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, my theory is that loud, fun, outgoing kids are the popular ones, and the really shy introverts are not popular. Is this your sense, too?[/quote]

Could be, but neither of my DCs fit this profile. (Boy and girl, both in high school, ages 17 and 14.)

Neither kids is loud or the life of the party. Neither needs (or wants) to be the center of attention. They’re certainly fun and extraverted when they’re with their closest friends, but they don’t otherwise assert themselves a ton in social groups. Overall, I tend to think of them both as social introverts. (DH is similar. I’m more of a traditional extravert.)

Yet both kids have a ton of friends. Both have always been included in different groups of kids that don’t tend to mix much otherwise. In addition to the various groups, they each have a handful of close friends. But neither seems to be the dominant force in their friendships or their friend groups.

I’d say both kids are just easy to get along with. It sounds simple, but I think it’s their defining trait socially, going all the way back to daycare/preschool. Both kids tend to go with the flow - they adapt to their circumstances, find common ground/interests, and don't tend to criticize or complain about other people, unless something is truly unfair or outrageous. (This last part is rare, so when they do, we take it seriously because there’s always something real there.)

The other thing I’d say is that both kids are very comfortable in their skin. Again, this goes back to daycare/preschool. They’ve never been particularly sensitive kids. Neither is anxious or easily upset. Drama has a way of flowing over/past them. They’re aware of it all, but rarely if ever triggered, and not super interested in talking about it. (They’re a lot like DH that way. Similar temperament.)

Finally, I’d say both do a good job of self-regulating. They seem ok opting out of plans or spending time chilling out solo when they’re tired or need a break from other people. No FOMO. No social anxiety. What you see is what you get. [/quote]

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