Has anyone taken a break and gone on to get married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I have friends who were together 8 years, broke up for a year then got back together, married with a kid. They are happy.

Curious why they broke up? Were they no contact?

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen it go both ways.

1) DH and I dated in college. Broke up for most of our senior year, mainly due to him being immature about handling multiple life stressors. Reunited after graduation and have been together since (14 years, married for 10, 3 kids).

2) A good friend’s long term boyfriend asked for a break to figure things out in his life— he was in a crisis about his career, his father was sick, and he said he needed time to pursue therapy and figure out his issues around why commitment scared him. He ended up meeting someone else and marrying her within a year! That was clearly a case of “he’s just not that into you”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In this situation where he is caring for a terminally ill parent I would give him some grace and keep the doors open.

He sounds like a good quality person.

+1

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We started dating in our mid-20s. At that time, my husband was not ready for any commitment and was still a bit young/irresponsible. We took a 4-year break, during which time I dated and even lived with another guy for 2 years. My husband matured during that time and we got back together. We were engaged within one year after that.

[Anonymous]

How old are you guys, Op? If young, then yes, possibly… although I agree with the poster that says you need to live your life and not wait for him.

If you guys are older, I would say no, not a good sign. He’s not a bad guy, just not the guy for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And then we divorced 12 years later.

Lol, same. He’s a great dad and our kids are awesome so no regrets, but the underlying issues never went away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And then we divorced 12 years later.

Lol, same. He’s a great dad and our kids are awesome so no regrets, but the underlying issues never went away.

What were the underlying issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No offense but this would not be a man in which I would want to marry, let alone date. He has too many issues. He can’t handle work. He can’t handle his family. Do you really want to marry and procreate with a depressed man?

So what would you do if you married somebody and then their parent became terminally ill and they started having trouble in their business? Divorce.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I started dating second year of college and were together for six years. We broke up for about 18 months, amicably, and were brought back together at a mutual friend's wedding.

We have been happily married for approaching 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen it go both ways.

1) DH and I dated in college. Broke up for most of our senior year, mainly due to him being immature about handling multiple life stressors. Reunited after graduation and have been together since (14 years, married for 10, 3 kids).

2) A good friend’s long term boyfriend asked for a break to figure things out in his life— he was in a crisis about his career, his father was sick, and he said he needed time to pursue therapy and figure out his issues around why commitment scared him. He ended up meeting someone else and marrying her within a year! That was clearly a case of “he’s just not that into you”.

Yes, sometimes it’s just an excuse and he wants to keep his options open and mentions the possibility of the future so he doesn’t have to feel the clean break.

Your friend’s ex may have met his future-wife before he broke up with your friend.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we were mid 20s.

In our case we differed on whether or not we wanted to have children. Spent some time apart, the "no" changed to "1" and 20 years later the three of us are very happy.

[Anonymous]

I can't find the study but basically having breakups before you get married is the best predictor of divorce. People who are sustainable matches for each other and love and are committed to each other enough to sustain a marriage tend to not break up. This doesn't mean that it never works out, but it's a bad data point.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I was late 20’s my husband was 30, we dated for a year, broke up for about a year, started dating again and got married a year later.
We’ve been married 24 yrs.

[Anonymous]

We took a break for a few months - we were young, had been moving too quickly, and had some growing up to do. We’ve been married for 17 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did with my H. We broke up about a year while he “worked on things”.

I wish we hadn’t gotten back together. Even though he did do therapy, the underlying issues are still there. One of which is that when things get difficult in life, his first reaction is to put zero effort into our relationship. Like right now he’s going through a stressful time at work so no more date nights, no more helping out at home, etc.

Me too. Called off a wedding!! But took him back. Worst mistake of my life.

That said/ we broke up because of his issues. I was stupid