Telling Your AC to Grow Up

[Anonymous]

She is unhappy, telling her to grow up won't solve the issue.

[Anonymous]

At one point in an argument we were having, untold her that her happiness is her own responsibility, not that of her Dad, Mom or even her boyfriend. She was blown away by that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AC by all accounts - with the exception of maternal interference - doing well. She graduated from UVA in 2021 and has been working for a flagship media corporation based in NYC. I estimate she earns about $100K per year, has no student debts and owns her own apartment. Yet, she is exceedingly unhappy. She says she wishes she went to a “better school” and didn’t have such a “sh*tty” job. I want to tell her to snap out of it and enjoy what she has. I think she’s too young to appreciate it all.

Hmm.

Does she want any of her bosses jobs or career track?
If not she needs a game plan and to do a pivot.

Goals will help - where does she want to be in two years, five years, 10 years? Promoted? Larger or smaller company? Rotating around geographies? Digital side? Entertainment side? Writing side? B school and something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's probably not that the job is shitty, it's just that she's coming to the realization that being a student, especially a college student, was a lot more pleasant than having to go to work everyday. I remember that phase in my early 20s. Maybe you do, too? Try an empathetic response rather than a combative one.

I understand your exasperation -- I really do. I have a similar kid about to graduate from UVA this year. I suspect she'll take a similar path as yours. And I half expect these kinds of complaints in a couple of years when the novelty of working day in and day out wears off.

Maybe the company or her specific group IS shitty. Then she needs to lateral over or find a new job. Complaining (about what we don’t know OP?) does nothing, unless she’s always venting…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She owns her apartment? Seems impossible after working for 3 years. Did you buy it or offer the down payment? If she doesn’t like her job, tell her to look for a new one.

Good catch. She spoilt and now stuck in that city or can go play landlord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF is maternal interference?

Unless her mood is clinically concerning just let it go. She’s an adult. She will figure it out.

OP is Dad.

Op is a troll.

No dad on here is that stupid that he comes to DCUM for basic shit like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She owns her apartment? Seems impossible after working for 3 years. Did you buy it or offer the down payment? If she doesn’t like her job, tell her to look for a new one.

Obviously, parents paid for college and down payment or full cost of the apartment. That doesn't mean she can't complain about college degree not giving opportunities she wanted.

No one “gives” you an opportunity.

You’re out there working, meeting people, doing your best and work and opportunity floats by and you grab it and make it yours or create it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AC by all accounts - with the exception of maternal interference - doing well. She graduated from UVA in 2021 and has been working for a flagship media corporation based in NYC. I estimate she earns about $100K per year, has no student debts and owns her own apartment. Yet, she is exceedingly unhappy. She says she wishes she went to a “better school” and didn’t have such a “sh*tty” job. I want to tell her to snap out of it and enjoy what she has. I think she’s too young to appreciate it all.

Maybe she needs an apartment in Santa Monica and London too so she can really do this media corp thing!

Go UVA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At one point in an argument we were having, untold her that her happiness is her own responsibility, not that of her Dad, Mom or even her boyfriend. She was blown away by that.

Deep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At one point in an argument we were having, untold her that her happiness is her own responsibility, not that of her Dad, Mom or even her boyfriend. She was blown away by that.

Well, people around us play a huge part in our lives but they can only add or take away happiness. Ultimately it's on us to work on ourselves to be happy.

[Anonymous]

My 2022 grad would love to be in your daughter’s shoes. Instead she’s working for half that in a boring job and living in her childhood bedroom because she can’t afford to move out. I think your daughter needs some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Your title makes me think that you are part of the problem. Allow her to have her feelings and be grateful she is so successful. If you cannot handle her sharing her feelings with you, please encourage her to get therapy so she has a safe place to explore without being told to "grow up!"

[Anonymous]

Partying with trust fund kids who pretend they aren’t can also lead to unhappiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's because happiness doesn't come from a job, education or owning your own apartment...

This!! Buy a book on happiness and share some thoughts with her. Largely connections with other people are the key. She may need to work on that.

[Anonymous]

HIGHLY doubt she makes that much. She probably makes half of that.