Telling Your AC to Grow Up
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Anonymous
| My AC by all accounts - with the exception of maternal interference - doing well. She graduated from UVA in 2021 and has been working for a flagship media corporation based in NYC. I estimate she earns about $100K per year, has no student debts and owns her own apartment. Yet, she is exceedingly unhappy. She says she wishes she went to a “better school” and didn’t have such a “sh*tty” job. I want to tell her to snap out of it and enjoy what she has. I think she’s too young to appreciate it all. |
Anonymous
|
It's probably not that the job is shitty, it's just that she's coming to the realization that being a student, especially a college student, was a lot more pleasant than having to go to work everyday. I remember that phase in my early 20s. Maybe you do, too? Try an empathetic response rather than a combative one.
I understand your exasperation -- I really do. I have a similar kid about to graduate from UVA this year. I suspect she'll take a similar path as yours. And I half expect these kinds of complaints in a couple of years when the novelty of working day in and day out wears off. |
Anonymous
|
WTF is maternal interference?
Unless her mood is clinically concerning just let it go. She’s an adult. She will figure it out. |
Anonymous
This. With my first food service job. It really is tiring to be on your feet all day-- makes it hard to have fun on your off days because you're so wiped out. My mom started out empathetic but after the first few weeks told me to grow up, and I did. It was the right thing to do. |
Anonymous
| She owns her apartment? Seems impossible after working for 3 years. Did you buy it or offer the down payment? If she doesn’t like her job, tell her to look for a new one. |
Anonymous
| She went to a great school and has a great job in a great city, in an apartment her parents presumably bought for her? What is not to like? This is the time to stop being introspective and just live life and have fun. |
Anonymous
| She's spoiled. I'd understand it more if she was trying to juggle rent and student loans in NYC. |
Anonymous
OP is Dad. |
Anonymous
|
Yeah she sounds pretty spoiled. But I think social media has spoiled so many of these kids. Everyone posting their highlight reels. Social media influencers who get money for having fun and doing stupid things. People complaining on the internet constantly has turned us all negative.
I think all you can do is listen to her kindly, but I would not validate. If she really isn’t happy with her job, ask her what would make her happy. You can practice gratitude around her if you don’t already. Not disingenuously but here and there. |
Anonymous
| You can hold her accountable and explain to her that if she is unhappy, she can try and change that by either going back to school and/or changing jobs/careers or she can see yhe positive in that she has a degree, a well paying job and is living on her own in NYC. If she chooses not to do either, then I would politely tell her that her unhappiness is her problem to deal with, and if she chooses meither of the above, then you no longer want to hear about it. |
Anonymous
| That's because happiness doesn't come from a job, education or owning your own apartment... |
Anonymous
| So she's having her quarter-life crisis. She should go talk with her friends about it. She's right on schedule. |
Anonymous
| Maybe she has depression. I would talk to her about seeing a therapist. |
Anonymous
Obviously, parents paid for college and down payment or full cost of the apartment. That doesn't mean she can't complain about college degree not giving opportunities she wanted. |
Anonymous
| She can go to grad school, get married, change job or move to a new city or country. She is young, has no debt, world is her oyster. |