Girlfriend Being Needy

[Anonymous]

Heaven forbid you should ever live with a woman or get married. You sound like you're better off solo.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you sound lazy.

[Anonymous]

OP is being held to ad hoc "routines" she wants. Call a few times at 4 pm, say? Then YOU MISSED OUR 4 PM CALL drama would ensue,
She is still too traumatized to be in a relationship where she is considerate and a partner, not a needy one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is being held to ad hoc "routines" she wants. Call a few times at 4 pm, say? Then YOU MISSED OUR 4 PM CALL drama would ensue,
She is still too traumatized to be in a relationship where she is considerate and a partner, not a needy one.

A second text per day is really not that dramatic or needy. It's quite sad that you think that way, do you not contact your partner ever? Or maybe you don't have one?

[Anonymous]

Is she texting you and you're not responding? Or is it always on you to reach out?

By 9 months the person I'm exclusively dating is the one I intuitively want to share thoughts/jokes/plans with, so more than a simple "good morning" is natural at that point. So if she's texting you through the day and you're ignoring it because in your mind you've already checked your "spoke to her today" box with your good morning text, I agree that you seem disinterested. But if she's not texting you, but getting upset when you don't text her, then that seems more like a test or some kind of game that I wouldn't want to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

She's being needy. And that neediness is unlikely to change; you need to figure out if you want to put up with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

"Girlfriend being needy" is the most redundant phrase in the English language. They're ALL needy.

Time for you to put on your big boy pants and put your foot down. So what, you missed a "good night" text? Whooptie damn doo. And stop the FaceTiming before bed. You are not a child. You are a man. This is turf-guarding nonsense.

Stand up for yourself already and stop being a pushover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you sound lazy.

Yeah, he should date someone less needy. One who can survive without her nightly "goodnight" text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

You are not being a crap boyfriend. Women like this are absolutely EXHAUSTING.

[Anonymous]

It's not needy to want to hear from your boyfriend beyond a text in the morning. But it is ridiculous to overreact it you're busy and can't talk behind that text.

Going forward, I think it's probably a good idea to reach out to her and say "hey I had a really busy day at work and I'm exhausted. I'm going to watch some TV and head to bed early". And she should be ok with that.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you text “honey
I’m tired today and am just going to bed. Good night and I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. That would be a way to have your boundaries and…. COMMUNICATE them.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

I don't think anyone thinks the two texts a day are being needy. I think it's the throwing a fit over it is what people are reacting to. When DH and I were dating we talked and texted a ton. If he didn't text back one day and the next morning said "sorry I was exhausted and just relaxed and went to bed early" I would have said "oh ok. Bad day at work?".

They both were wrong here. He should have communicated that he was tired or busy and wasn't around to talk. And she shouldn't flip out about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is being held to ad hoc "routines" she wants. Call a few times at 4 pm, say? Then YOU MISSED OUR 4 PM CALL drama would ensue,
She is still too traumatized to be in a relationship where she is considerate and a partner, not a needy one.

A second text per day is really not that dramatic or needy. It's quite sad that you think that way, do you not contact your partner ever? Or maybe you don't have one?

Yeah, but the girlfriend getting worked up about it when he misses one? That is needy. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

I don't think anyone thinks the two texts a day are being needy. I think it's the throwing a fit over it is what people are reacting to. When DH and I were dating we talked and texted a ton. If he didn't text back one day and the next morning said "sorry I was exhausted and just relaxed and went to bed early" I would have said "oh ok. Bad day at work?".

They both were wrong here. He should have communicated that he was tired or busy and wasn't around to talk. And she shouldn't flip out about it.

We don't know if she was "throwing a fit" or "flip out" - even OPs words were vague "bent out of shape". That could be as little as a terse greeting when he texted this AM. OPs language suggests he is on the dramatic side, but he may also find her needy in other situations. Because there is no way that her reacting to a bf texting her once a day and checking that box is in any way needy on it's own. He's putting in less than the bare minimum for any partner (at least any person that I know IRL), so he's probably just not that interested in pursuing this relationship further.