Intimate touch/kissing

[Anonymous]

Your husband's behavior is not normal.

My DH kisses me in the morning when we wake up. He kisses me again when we have breakfast with the kids.
We both take the metro to work. We hold hands while walking to the metro station.
We kiss again in the train. He kisses me again before he gets off the train.

[Anonymous]

This is more important to women..and l admit I have struggled with this during my last relationship. At least in my case the women I have dated in the past wanted me to show them affection literally every minute we were together. It's exhausting.

[Anonymous]

First thing in the morning my husband will come into the kitchen, I’ve been up for an hour, rub my shoulder and kiss my cheek. He will often pat my butt, give me a hug and say sweet things but in no way is it a call for action. If he, or me, is interested in sex we just say so early in the morning so we can get in the mood.

[Anonymous]

I wish DW would reciprocate. I am the one showing affection in our house hold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I don’t like his attitude.

My DH kisses me before he leaves for work every day. This morning, he was particularly affectionate.

We snuggle and occasionally kiss on the couch almost every day. We kiss in passing. If the kids aren’t around, it could become groping. It’s fun! It leads nowhere, but it’s so much fun.

We shower together every night and I’d say we make out in there every third day.

All this to say, we kiss passionately without it leading to anything, quite often.

This marriage sounds healthy and loving.

Your husband sounds selfish and transactional.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I will kiss in morning, evening, etc, but sometimes it would be nice to make out on the couch without any expectation of it leading to something more. He CAN'T handle that, so I don't allow any passionate kissing or intimate touching unless it's going to lead to something. It's sad really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside of when you are having sex, how often do you touch and kiss intimately? Husband maintains there is “no point” if it’s not leading to sex. Is this a common belief?

You’ve never just gotten to third base on the couch?

No.

He is affectionate- kiss on the lips, cuddling on the coach but it is all very G rated unless it’s leading to sex.

Ok well this is kind of changing the discussion.

My husband is very affectionate (and I am too!) and we touch each other all the time and kiss. But there is like, an escalation that happens when it is in fact leading to s3x. If, for example, we got to third base on the sofa as pp suggests, it def would end up going all the way haha.

I think I'm kind of on his side like, there is no point in getting to a certain point without getting to the climax. But there is MUCH VALUE in like, regular affection. My husband will give my butt a good tap, hug me, come up behind me, hold my hand, etc etc etc. But third base? Yeah walking away from that unsatisfied would not be something we did haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside of when you are having sex, how often do you touch and kiss intimately? Husband maintains there is “no point” if it’s not leading to sex. Is this a common belief?

Is he perhaps saying that because you are intimate but don't have sex frequently, so he is frustrated by the "teasing"?
If he's sexually frustrated then nonsexual intimacy if frustrating. But if he's sexually fulfilled then intimacy is a nice callback and appetizer.

It’s this.
He must be feeling like his sexual needs aren’t being met.
The touching/kissing you seek is simply signs of affection. The kind that demonstrates care and communicates “I love you, I care about you, you’re my person”
Married men who aren’t getting sex rarely feel warm fuzzies that make them express affection this way.
And if you’re doing this and it makes him think “oh wow, okay now she finally wants sex” and it turns out he is wrong, that’s a huge disappointment for him and so he’s probably saying this out of frustration.

Easy fix, though, OP.
Have sex with your man.
Several times this week.
Then say sweet things to him the next day and watch him become more affectionate toward you. Men aren’t all that complicated.

[Anonymous]

My DH isn't affectionate. Even his pecks when he comes home are cold. He's never really kissed me unless he's trying to be intimate, and he barely does it then. And he wonders...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH isn't affectionate. Even his pecks when he comes home are cold. He's never really kissed me unless he's trying to be intimate, and he barely does it then. And he wonders...

How much do you weigh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always wonder what it’s like for kids to live with affectionate parents. I mean as an adult it would make me uncomfortable to always be exposed to other peoples PDA, so I imagine kids would feel embarrassed!

My parents had a terrible divorce and even worse series of boyfriends/girlfriends. My best friend in high school had married parents who were VERY into each other.

She’d come to school upset because her parents were making out in the kitchen or took a shower together, and I was always like, I’d kill to have parents that were into each other. I thought it was adorable and sweet. Definitely better than the alternative of the cold, withdrawn parents I had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outside of when you are having sex, how often do you touch and kiss intimately? Husband maintains there is “no point” if it’s not leading to sex. Is this a common belief?

You two met after marriage? Why wasn't it an issue before? Either two people should've similar levels of affection and intimacy or willing to meet half way if they are dedicating themselves to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH isn't affectionate. Even his pecks when he comes home are cold. He's never really kissed me unless he's trying to be intimate, and he barely does it then. And he wonders...

How much do you weigh?

117lbs. I’m 5’6”. He’s gained weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside of when you are having sex, how often do you touch and kiss intimately? Husband maintains there is “no point” if it’s not leading to sex. Is this a common belief?

Is he perhaps saying that because you are intimate but don't have sex frequently, so he is frustrated by the "teasing"?
If he's sexually frustrated then nonsexual intimacy if frustrating. But if he's sexually fulfilled then intimacy is a nice callback and appetizer.

It’s this.
He must be feeling like his sexual needs aren’t being met.
The touching/kissing you seek is simply signs of affection. The kind that demonstrates care and communicates “I love you, I care about you, you’re my person”
Married men who aren’t getting sex rarely feel warm fuzzies that make them express affection this way.
And if you’re doing this and it makes him think “oh wow, okay now she finally wants sex” and it turns out he is wrong, that’s a huge disappointment for him and so he’s probably saying this out of frustration.

Easy fix, though, OP.
Have sex with your man.
Several times this week.
Then say sweet things to him the next day and watch him become more affectionate toward you. Men aren’t all that complicated.

OP here. It isn’t this. I’m always up for sex and have never turned him down. I have the higher drive in the relationship. I think the opposite it actually true.

[Anonymous]

I have the same problem OP. He never kisses me anymore , I always initiate hugs. I am definitely higher drive. After years of bringing all this up to him I got an AP. Now I get affection 🤷🏽‍♀️