IEP team lying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hire an advocate and have all communication go through them. What district are you in?

Plus one. If you want to stay in public school system then you may need an advocate to support you in IEP meetings sometimes the psychologists who handle your neuropsyche evils can be hired by the hour to come and sit in on the IEP meetings and even the playing field in your students’ favors.

Also OP -
Can you afford a therapeutic private school if things don’t improve? In our experience the IEP meetings and paperwork were often rigid bureaucratic nonsense with pages of pages of jargon to communicate basic actions and goals. The therapies were often very limited and needed a lot of private supplementation anyway .

We went private therapeutic and found the communications, teaching and accommodations to be much more helpful -/ however some public schools do a great job with neuro diverse students so this probably differs school to school and county to county.

Op here. I’m starting to think this is what we should do. I’m not in DC anymore but my son is on the long term care/medicaid type insurance for our state in addition to our private insurance which means that all therapies are free and we don’t even pay a copay. We are authorized up to 40 hours per week of ABA. I want what’s best for my son, but I have to consider my sanity too. This process feels so time consuming for such a small reward. The therapies in school are a joke anyway and we do so much more in private therapy already. I am tired of fighting with the school. Our state has some kind of a voucher program where they will pay for private school but I don’t know how it works exactly. I need to look into it more.

Talk to a lawyer!!! They should pay for private. The school is giving you a gift by messing up. Just sit back and let them continue to mess up while you document. Then you sue for private placement. Ignore the puppies-and-rainbows poster saying you should just play nice and be positive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hire an advocate and have all communication go through them. What district are you in?

Plus one. If you want to stay in public school system then you may need an advocate to support you in IEP meetings sometimes the psychologists who handle your neuropsyche evils can be hired by the hour to come and sit in on the IEP meetings and even the playing field in your students’ favors.

Also OP -
Can you afford a therapeutic private school if things don’t improve? In our experience the IEP meetings and paperwork were often rigid bureaucratic nonsense with pages of pages of jargon to communicate basic actions and goals. The therapies were often very limited and needed a lot of private supplementation anyway .

We went private therapeutic and found the communications, teaching and accommodations to be much more helpful -/ however some public schools do a great job with neuro diverse students so this probably differs school to school and county to county.

Op here. I’m starting to think this is what we should do. I’m not in DC anymore but my son is on the long term care/medicaid type insurance for our state in addition to our private insurance which means that all therapies are free and we don’t even pay a copay. We are authorized up to 40 hours per week of ABA. I want what’s best for my son, but I have to consider my sanity too. This process feels so time consuming for such a small reward. The therapies in school are a joke anyway and we do so much more in private therapy already. I am tired of fighting with the school. Our state has some kind of a voucher program where they will pay for private school but I don’t know how it works exactly. I need to look into it more.

PP to whom you responded

I hear ya OP - parental sanity is imoortant. Since your DC is so young you could always try returning to public school after some years with more intensive help:

The IEP process was incredibly frustrating for us also - and the public school therapies were not enough to make a difference .

Yes I know students who attended therapeutic private paid by the public school system but they had to prove the local public schools was not meeting their DC’s needs. I am not familiar with the voucher system.

Best wishes

[Anonymous]

OP, get an experienced advocate, preferably someone who has experience in your school district and understands non-public placements.

Cajoling will not work. To the PP saying that it's possible and necessary to turn it around. No. It's not. You can have a cordial relationship with the teachers but they will still not move their assess if they can avoid it. They are overstretched and school admin is an a-hole towards them, so anything that requires work (and FBA is a lot of work) will be kicked down the line as much as possible. Right now they are stealing your time.

Get an advocate to review everything, document everything. Copy principal and assistant principal on all emails, on key ones, also copy office of special education. You will see the difference. Only the squeaky wheel gets oiled.

Staying at the teachers level and accepting oral promises is a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Saw the topic, thought "this is new?" and saw the child is in K.

There is a book I found when my kid was in school called "You, Your Child, and 'Special' Education." My kid's psychologist said "once you get eligibility, the rest is politics." That book explained how to work the politics.

Our district was still terrible, their deceit was Trump-level, but the book did give me some insight into finding ways to survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in kindergarten and has an IEP.

Our IEP meeting is tomorrow and I have asked them repeatedly to send the draft and/or any data they are relying on in preparing the IEP.

They don’t respond, or say yes we will send it soon but then they never do.

Then they are lying to my face. I have been pushing for a BIP since the first week of August. I sent two FBAs we have done privately as well as a neuropsych assessment and developmental pediatrician assessment. The school said that none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

I asked for an update and they said they were waiting for us to provide the updated private FBA and haven’t started anything on their end.

I forwarded them the emails where they said they wouldn’t accept the private FBAs and also the emails where they said they were starting the FBA/data collection back in AUGUST and again in SEPTEMBER. They won’t acknowledge their lie/mistake.

They are now planning to start the 60 day data gathering process.

I am just so frustrated with them. How do I go into this meeting where they are perfectly content to lie to my face and just drag their feet on everything?

They are REQUIRED to consider assessments you provide, they can't just disregard or refuse to accept them. If you end up leaving public school, file an IDEA complaint with the state anyway as this is a basic violation. You want to learn the regs regardless, and for the most part they are not that hard to understand. I can guarantee almost 100% nobody who is on the IEP team has ever read them. What happens is districts develop policies to more or less align with the law but when it comes to an individual child they cannot substitute "this is how we do things" for what IDEA requires they consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t sign the IEP at the meeting. Insist that they put in the IEP that parent reports that they asked for a draft before the meeting and did not receive it, then take it home for review before signing. Record the whole meeting so you have documented everything you want to say.

FWIW, unless state law requires them to get your signature, they do not need a signature to implement a new IEP unless it involves a change of placement. Where I lived the signature section had were two items--that I had read it, and that I had received all relevant (or something) information. There was no place for me to say I agreed or disagreed. And the thing is they are required to be implementing the IEP, so in general terms they are basically required (speaking fed law here) to carry out whatever they have written (while you figure out what your next step is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in kindergarten and has an IEP.

Our IEP meeting is tomorrow and I have asked them repeatedly to send the draft and/or any data they are relying on in preparing the IEP.

They don’t respond, or say yes we will send it soon but then they never do.

Then they are lying to my face. I have been pushing for a BIP since the first week of August. I sent two FBAs we have done privately as well as a neuropsych assessment and developmental pediatrician assessment. The school said that none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

I asked for an update and they said they were waiting for us to provide the updated private FBA and haven’t started anything on their end.

I forwarded them the emails where they said they wouldn’t accept the private FBAs and also the emails where they said they were starting the FBA/data collection back in AUGUST and again in SEPTEMBER. They won’t acknowledge their lie/mistake.

They are now planning to start the 60 day data gathering process.

I am just so frustrated with them. How do I go into this meeting where they are perfectly content to lie to my face and just drag their feet on everything?

They are REQUIRED to consider assessments you provide, they can't just disregard or refuse to accept them. If you end up leaving public school, file an IDEA complaint with the state anyway as this is a basic violation. You want to learn the regs regardless, and for the most part they are not that hard to understand. I can guarantee almost 100% nobody who is on the IEP team has ever read them. What happens is districts develop policies to more or less align with the law but when it comes to an individual child they cannot substitute "this is how we do things" for what IDEA requires they consider.

The team DID consider them but found that "...none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

They should now be conducting their own assessment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in kindergarten and has an IEP.

Our IEP meeting is tomorrow and I have asked them repeatedly to send the draft and/or any data they are relying on in preparing the IEP.

They don’t respond, or say yes we will send it soon but then they never do.

Then they are lying to my face. I have been pushing for a BIP since the first week of August. I sent two FBAs we have done privately as well as a neuropsych assessment and developmental pediatrician assessment. The school said that none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

I asked for an update and they said they were waiting for us to provide the updated private FBA and haven’t started anything on their end.

I forwarded them the emails where they said they wouldn’t accept the private FBAs and also the emails where they said they were starting the FBA/data collection back in AUGUST and again in SEPTEMBER. They won’t acknowledge their lie/mistake.

They are now planning to start the 60 day data gathering process.

I am just so frustrated with them. How do I go into this meeting where they are perfectly content to lie to my face and just drag their feet on everything?

They are REQUIRED to consider assessments you provide, they can't just disregard or refuse to accept them. If you end up leaving public school, file an IDEA complaint with the state anyway as this is a basic violation. You want to learn the regs regardless, and for the most part they are not that hard to understand. I can guarantee almost 100% nobody who is on the IEP team has ever read them. What happens is districts develop policies to more or less align with the law but when it comes to an individual child they cannot substitute "this is how we do things" for what IDEA requires they consider.

The team DID consider them but found that "...none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

They should now be conducting their own assessment.

Op here. I’m totally on board with them conducting their own assessment. I’m just angry that they still haven’t started it yet. I’ve been asking for this for months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in kindergarten and has an IEP.

Our IEP meeting is tomorrow and I have asked them repeatedly to send the draft and/or any data they are relying on in preparing the IEP.

They don’t respond, or say yes we will send it soon but then they never do.

Then they are lying to my face. I have been pushing for a BIP since the first week of August. I sent two FBAs we have done privately as well as a neuropsych assessment and developmental pediatrician assessment. The school said that none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

I asked for an update and they said they were waiting for us to provide the updated private FBA and haven’t started anything on their end.

I forwarded them the emails where they said they wouldn’t accept the private FBAs and also the emails where they said they were starting the FBA/data collection back in AUGUST and again in SEPTEMBER. They won’t acknowledge their lie/mistake.

They are now planning to start the 60 day data gathering process.

I am just so frustrated with them. How do I go into this meeting where they are perfectly content to lie to my face and just drag their feet on everything?

They are REQUIRED to consider assessments you provide, they can't just disregard or refuse to accept them. If you end up leaving public school, file an IDEA complaint with the state anyway as this is a basic violation. You want to learn the regs regardless, and for the most part they are not that hard to understand. I can guarantee almost 100% nobody who is on the IEP team has ever read them. What happens is districts develop policies to more or less align with the law but when it comes to an individual child they cannot substitute "this is how we do things" for what IDEA requires they consider.

Well, kind of. They can't just straight up say "no, we're not looking at those", but they definitely do not have to (and often will not) use those assessments to make eligibility, intervention, and placement decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in kindergarten and has an IEP.

Our IEP meeting is tomorrow and I have asked them repeatedly to send the draft and/or any data they are relying on in preparing the IEP.

They don’t respond, or say yes we will send it soon but then they never do.

Then they are lying to my face. I have been pushing for a BIP since the first week of August. I sent two FBAs we have done privately as well as a neuropsych assessment and developmental pediatrician assessment. The school said that none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

I asked for an update and they said they were waiting for us to provide the updated private FBA and haven’t started anything on their end.

I forwarded them the emails where they said they wouldn’t accept the private FBAs and also the emails where they said they were starting the FBA/data collection back in AUGUST and again in SEPTEMBER. They won’t acknowledge their lie/mistake.

They are now planning to start the 60 day data gathering process.

I am just so frustrated with them. How do I go into this meeting where they are perfectly content to lie to my face and just drag their feet on everything?

They are REQUIRED to consider assessments you provide, they can't just disregard or refuse to accept them. If you end up leaving public school, file an IDEA complaint with the state anyway as this is a basic violation. You want to learn the regs regardless, and for the most part they are not that hard to understand. I can guarantee almost 100% nobody who is on the IEP team has ever read them. What happens is districts develop policies to more or less align with the law but when it comes to an individual child they cannot substitute "this is how we do things" for what IDEA requires they consider.

The team DID consider them but found that "...none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

They should now be conducting their own assessment.

Op here. I’m totally on board with them conducting their own assessment. I’m just angry that they still haven’t started it yet. I’ve been asking for this for months.

Make sure you don't agree to any extensions of time. Hold them to deadlines

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in kindergarten and has an IEP.

Our IEP meeting is tomorrow and I have asked them repeatedly to send the draft and/or any data they are relying on in preparing the IEP.

They don’t respond, or say yes we will send it soon but then they never do.

Then they are lying to my face. I have been pushing for a BIP since the first week of August. I sent two FBAs we have done privately as well as a neuropsych assessment and developmental pediatrician assessment. The school said that none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

I asked for an update and they said they were waiting for us to provide the updated private FBA and haven’t started anything on their end.

I forwarded them the emails where they said they wouldn’t accept the private FBAs and also the emails where they said they were starting the FBA/data collection back in AUGUST and again in SEPTEMBER. They won’t acknowledge their lie/mistake.

They are now planning to start the 60 day data gathering process.

I am just so frustrated with them. How do I go into this meeting where they are perfectly content to lie to my face and just drag their feet on everything?

They are REQUIRED to consider assessments you provide, they can't just disregard or refuse to accept them. If you end up leaving public school, file an IDEA complaint with the state anyway as this is a basic violation. You want to learn the regs regardless, and for the most part they are not that hard to understand. I can guarantee almost 100% nobody who is on the IEP team has ever read them. What happens is districts develop policies to more or less align with the law but when it comes to an individual child they cannot substitute "this is how we do things" for what IDEA requires they consider.

The team DID consider them but found that "...none of them was “relevant to what they were seeing in the classroom” and that they had to perform their own assessment with the “District Behavior Team.”

They should now be conducting their own assessment.

Op here. I’m totally on board with them conducting their own assessment. I’m just angry that they still haven’t started it yet. I’ve been asking for this for months.

1. If it's not in writing, it didn't happen.
2. If it's in writing - start escalating, copy the district-level officials of Special Education office, request them to be present in IEP meetings.
3. Get an advocate. You don't know what you don't know. Mechanics and admin side of these processes is complicated and opaque, you need someone to guide you and speak for you.