For Those of You From the Other Thread...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief op, you sound oddly judgmental. Why assume that everyone who had sex relatively early "blames" anyone or anything for their experiences? Not everyone feels shameful about sex. Sure, not the wisest decision when you're that age (for all sorts of reasons), but it doesn't make someone "bad" or "slutty."

Agreed. It's one thing that the women here delight in attacking each other, but now you're going after teenage girls. That is a damn shame.

You are an idiot. Have you read the other thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hate to break it to you OP, but everyone at my nice private school (in this area) was having sex at that age. I come from a very good family and had a wonderful upbringing, happy childhood, great relationship with my parents, etc. I was almost 16 and my boyfriend (of about a year) was only a year older. We were each others first and we were in love. Not only do you sound incredibly judgemental, you sound really ignorant and out of touch.

Wow, so I guess all the women in the lawyer thread are ignorant too?

[Anonymous]

I was just barely 15 and had been dating the guy for a year. He was 16 at the time, but I wasn't his first. Well over half the kids in my high school (and everyone I knew, all the "popular" kids) had definitely done it before age 17.

I can't figure out what the big deal or the judgement issue is about. At the risk of sounding counter-judgey, it just makes the PP sound like someone who is still bitter from not being able to get a boyfriend way back in high school.

[aprilmayjune]

Well I am 25.. and there were a few people having sex at that age.. but there were also a few people getting pregnant. And I am not judging because it's not my place, but a lot of those people I even recognized then as having troubled lives in one form or another.

[Anonymous]

I'm 29 and went to a public high school in a diverse neighborhood around here. Yes, a lot of people were having sex in high school but there were also a lot who were not and I found it interesting that even some of the "cool" kids confided in small groups that it wasn't worth it. And I agree with pp that there were hints of self esteem issues or troubles in some form or another even if they came from fine homes with fine families.

[Anonymous]

9:24 here. I suppose I should mention that I graduated high school in the '80s. I really think kids have become much more conservative since then.

[Anonymous]

I got the impression that most girls i'm my HS were having sex, and many were being very irresponsible about it. I know at least three girls who had abortions, one of whom had more that one b/c she didn't want to use birth control. I think many of these girls had family issues, but I don't know specifics. Actually, I think I only assumed they had family issues now that I think about it, which is interesting.

[Anonymous]

I think the people on the lawyer thread were saying that girl came form a bad home because she was prostituting herself and having sex with a much older man -- not just that she was having sex at 15. And I'm not saying this in any way to blame the victim, but to say that any child prostituting herself is very likely not getting any kind of positive attention or love from her parents -- she's probably been abused by a male family member in fact.

[Anonymous]

I'm 37 and there were definitely some kids in high school having sex (I had 2 friends drop out because of getting pregnant and I had to skip school a couple of times to take one friend to get birth control and another friend to get a pregnancy test...my brother knocked her up so my mom made ME miss work to take her so I can learn what a PIA it is to get pregnant and not want to do it myself.) I feel I can confidently say it wasn't the norm. Most kids weren't having sex and the ones who did created a lot of headaches for ME. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief op, you sound oddly judgmental. Why assume that everyone who had sex relatively early "blames" anyone or anything for their experiences? Not everyone feels shameful about sex. Sure, not the wisest decision when you're that age (for all sorts of reasons), but it doesn't make someone "bad" or "slutty."

Agreed. It's one thing that the women here delight in attacking each other, but now you're going after teenage girls. That is a damn shame.

You are an idiot. Have you read the other thread?

Every word. Thanks for underlining my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 16 and I explained it-- my boyfriend (same age) and I had been together a year and were very "in love". It was the first time for both of us. We were together almost 2 years total. We broke up when his family moved away, and we stayed friends. I was not considered slutty, I did not have a broken home. Though I sure didn't tell my parents! They think my first time was with my next serious boyfriend, in college.

this was my experience as well - although I was a few weeks shy of 16 (I was very young for my class) and my BF and I were together all 4 years through HS. I'm 38 now so this was the late 80s.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you a dinosaur? Does your birth year start with a 195x or 196x?

[Anonymous]

I think 15-yr-old girls have sex not because they have "family issues" or are "sluts," but because they are biologically sexually mature and every hormone in their bodies is telling them to do it. For most of human history girls would be married by 17 or 18 and starting families. Lately in our culture we have been delaying adulthood until increasingly later ages, but we haven't figured out how to reconcile our delayed assumption of adult responsibilities and the consequent emotional maturity with the biological reality of our bodies.

BTW, I was 16 and so horny I couldn't lose my virginity fast enough.

[Anonymous]

Spot on, 13:21. Most of the girls I knew who were having sex as teens were desperate for it. I was! And most were lucky enough to have serious boyfriends and smart enough to practice safe sex.

I can't believe OP doesn't understand the difference between a teen having sex with her steady, monogamous, same-aged boyfriend, and a teen having sex in exchange for money with a complete stranger who's more than twice her age.

[Anonymous]

I think this spin-off thread is from another spin-off that asked how old we were when we lost it.

I am 34 and most of my friends, in HS, and sex around 14 or 15. I grew up in a small town where there wasn't much to do. Kids were getting drunk and having sex in middle school. I knew one girl who had her first child in 7th grade (given up for adoption) another in 8th grade (given up for adoption but she took the baby back before finalized) and a third in 10th grade and a fourth by what would have been her senior year. She had two loving parents who cared for her, then her children. When they discovered the father of her first two children was the same 22 year old man they had him arrested.

I waited until I was 18. I thought I was still too young but he was the love of my life. He had gone away to school and I knew he wouldn't ever move back to our hometown. I lost my virginity on his first visit home.