How to stop rich relative from money complaints

[Anonymous]

It’s no different from the parents who complain about being parents on this forum when they willfully decided to become
Parents. It’s like shut up

[Anonymous]

It would be hard for me to hold back from saying anything to somebody who owns 3 houses but says there poor. Just be blunt and tell them to stop crying povert because you would be more than happy to visit a food bank or homeless shelter to show them what being poor really is.

[Anonymous]

Tell them to stop overextending themselves so they can buy some coffee without stress!

[Anonymous]

Tell them they need to talk to someone to help them budget their income.

[Anonymous]

OP? Did you post and ghost? Not cool.

[Anonymous]

Ask them if they want you to create a GoFundMe since they're struggling so much.

[Anonymous]

Properties are not always assets. If it's all they know what to do with their money, I'd be stressed also. It's not about the coffee.
They have very narrow way of growing their wealth, and in need of some kind of control where they can literally touch the investment.
You didn't say anything about their million dollar investment account and fully funded retirement.
Way too much in real estate - all liabilities taking money every single month.

[Anonymous]

I think people like this really want to tell you that they're better with money than you are: I buy real estate while you fritter away your money on lattes.

So I take them at their word, rather than their subtext: Don't feel bad, people go through phases, and right now you can't afford coffee, but eventually you'll have your finances in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make some general remarks and tune them out. They are not going to change, but you can control your reaction to them. Been there, doing that.

+1. Change the subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Properties are not always assets. If it's all they know what to do with their money, I'd be stressed also. It's not about the coffee.
They have very narrow way of growing their wealth, and in need of some kind of control where they can literally touch the investment.
You didn't say anything about their million dollar investment account and fully funded retirement.
Way too much in real estate - all liabilities taking money every single month.

Yes, this. I read this very differently than others on this thread might have. These people are very likely overextended.

[Anonymous]

This could easily be us—three rentals and stable careers, having built everything from the ground up. We’re careful savers, often amazed by how casually people spend on things like daily coffee deliveries through Uber Eats, like our neighbors next door. We’re mindful of how we spend our money. I suggest you focus on your own path rather than critiquing how others choose to live—unless, of course, they ask you to buy their coffee! Sometimes, it’s just better to let others vent and keep moving forward.

[Anonymous]

There is a difference between whining about wanting things that you don’t pay for so you can’t get and complaining about the outrageous inflation of the past four years.

My spouse and I are two of the most careful budget people I know. We almost never make an unplanned purchase. We have kept our expenses almost the same for the past four years. Even so, our standard of living has declined in many ways. I do get frustrated at the inflationary policies of every single political party that gets into power but I adapt and live with it because I don’t have power over anyone or anything that isn’t in my little family. Even so, for decades, all I’ve heard at every single family gathering since I’ve been an adult is shaming from older relatives due to the fact that my lifestyle is and always has been less extravagant than theirs.

OP, if you have a problem with people discussing paying for drinks, don’t bring up anything to do with finances or lifestyle at parties. Money is a rude topic to bring up socially anyway especially with people you do not see often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between whining about wanting things that you don’t pay for so you can’t get and complaining about the outrageous inflation of the past four years.

My spouse and I are two of the most careful budget people I know. We almost never make an unplanned purchase. We have kept our expenses almost the same for the past four years. Even so, our standard of living has declined in many ways. I do get frustrated at the inflationary policies of every single political party that gets into power but I adapt and live with it because I don’t have power over anyone or anything that isn’t in my little family. Even so, for decades, all I’ve heard at every single family gathering since I’ve been an adult is shaming from older relatives due to the fact that my lifestyle is and always has been less extravagant than theirs.

OP, if you have a problem with people discussing paying for drinks, don’t bring up anything to do with finances or lifestyle at parties. Money is a rude topic to bring up socially anyway especially with people you do not see often.

The US had lower inflation than Europe, and it's come way down, so I assume you'll be voting for Biden.

Maybe you're not being "shamed" for being "less extravagant" (which I guess you define by whether you buy coffee out?) but for not understanding economics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is this person in relation to you?

Just be blunt. Tell them that when you know they have three houses, it sounds ridiculous, tone deaf, and elitist to say they are poor. Then you can start calling them “poor little rich boy” or “poor little rich girl.” Hopefully that will annoy them and make them shut up.

This made me smile. Thank you.

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do some paraphrasing on repeat:
“So you’re complaining that you can’t afford a coffee at Starbucks when you own three homes. Do I have that correct?”

“Okay. I’ve got to go. Take care.”

They don’t know that I know they own three houses. So this will be surprising to them!

OP