Bullying report involving racism

[Anonymous]

Also want to say that my daughter doesn't seem worried and thinks she can handle it, but I am worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be ignored for reasons that you are not allowed to say out loud, unfortunately.

Disagree, particularly because the bullying is racialized.

I had a similar situation in MCPS, in which my (biracial, white presenting) child was being bullied by a Black peer. The bullying was only partially racialized, but I reported the entire picture via the bullying form, using clear language. "On X occasion, [Bully] came to my child's locker and punched next to my child's head, calling her XXX, a racial slur for biracial individuals. On Y occasion, [Bully] repeated the slur, and stood in front of the door keeping my child from leaving lunch. This was witnessed by [Paraprofessional]."

I found the administration very responsive, actually. I know I was probably lucky, but the fact that the bully was absolutely from a harder situation than my own child in a lot of ways did not mean that my child's needs were ignored, contra DCUM received wisdom.

OP here. What did the administration do in your case after you filled out these forms?

As stated by the other poster, I am afraid that the situation will become worse with the kid retaliating more if I fill the form and they call the kids parents.

If you think it’s serous enough to warrant bringing up to another adult in the building, then you want to create a paper trail. The bullying report form is the only official way to start the paper trail. Any thing else that you do (phone call with counselor, email to principal, etc.) is “unofficial” and just as likely to get back to the parent as using the bullying report form. By starting an official paper trail, you put the school on notice that you are taking this seriously and expect them to do so also. If things escalate, you will have more leverage to get what you need for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be ignored for reasons that you are not allowed to say out loud, unfortunately.

Disagree, particularly because the bullying is racialized.

I had a similar situation in MCPS, in which my (biracial, white presenting) child was being bullied by a Black peer. The bullying was only partially racialized, but I reported the entire picture via the bullying form, using clear language. "On X occasion, [Bully] came to my child's locker and punched next to my child's head, calling her XXX, a racial slur for biracial individuals. On Y occasion, [Bully] repeated the slur, and stood in front of the door keeping my child from leaving lunch. This was witnessed by [Paraprofessional]."

I found the administration very responsive, actually. I know I was probably lucky, but the fact that the bully was absolutely from a harder situation than my own child in a lot of ways did not mean that my child's needs were ignored, contra DCUM received wisdom.

OP here. What did the administration do in your case after you filled out these forms?

As stated by the other poster, I am afraid that the situation will become worse with the kid retaliating more if I fill the form and they call the kids parents.

Bullies will try to intimidate others and try to control the narrative. Bullies don't want you to report and know that many are scared to report, for this very reason. That is what they want. This is why you fill out the first form and then for each and every occurrence after. If you just fill out the first form and the bullying worsens and then you don't continue to report, the bully has won. That is what they want. You need to continue to fill out the form. Those forms are tracked and admin have to report to their higher ups and they don't want to have high numbers. They have to address that form each and every time it is filled out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be ignored for reasons that you are not allowed to say out loud, unfortunately.

Disagree, particularly because the bullying is racialized.

I had a similar situation in MCPS, in which my (biracial, white presenting) child was being bullied by a Black peer. The bullying was only partially racialized, but I reported the entire picture via the bullying form, using clear language. "On X occasion, [Bully] came to my child's locker and punched next to my child's head, calling her XXX, a racial slur for biracial individuals. On Y occasion, [Bully] repeated the slur, and stood in front of the door keeping my child from leaving lunch. This was witnessed by [Paraprofessional]."

I found the administration very responsive, actually. I know I was probably lucky, but the fact that the bully was absolutely from a harder situation than my own child in a lot of ways did not mean that my child's needs were ignored, contra DCUM received wisdom.

I had a similar situation but sadly the administration wasn’t responsive at all. The principal and assistant principal (both black) basically interrogated my daughter looking for inconsistencies. 7th graders not being the best at detailed note taking, they eventually managed to get my kid to say she was “unsure” exactly when some of these things happened. They came back to us and basically accused my kid of lying. She got moved in class and stayed away from him as much as possible so ultimately it faded away, but administration was clearly trying to sweep it under the rug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be ignored for reasons that you are not allowed to say out loud, unfortunately.

Disagree, particularly because the bullying is racialized.

I had a similar situation in MCPS, in which my (biracial, white presenting) child was being bullied by a Black peer. The bullying was only partially racialized, but I reported the entire picture via the bullying form, using clear language. "On X occasion, [Bully] came to my child's locker and punched next to my child's head, calling her XXX, a racial slur for biracial individuals. On Y occasion, [Bully] repeated the slur, and stood in front of the door keeping my child from leaving lunch. This was witnessed by [Paraprofessional]."

I found the administration very responsive, actually. I know I was probably lucky, but the fact that the bully was absolutely from a harder situation than my own child in a lot of ways did not mean that my child's needs were ignored, contra DCUM received wisdom.

OP here. What did the administration do in your case after you filled out these forms?

As stated by the other poster, I am afraid that the situation will become worse with the kid retaliating more if I fill the form and they call the kids parents.

The suggestion to have them move your child's locker to a more public place is a good one. Have them move it to a locker in front of the main office or something like that. It's not going to solve your problem but the more you can have your child move away from this child the better.

Filling out the bullying form means your concerns cannot be ignored. They have to send those forms and their responses off to some higher authority.

What makes you think they didn't call the parents already? Most school principals will call home for much much less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be ignored for reasons that you are not allowed to say out loud, unfortunately.

Disagree, particularly because the bullying is racialized.

I had a similar situation in MCPS, in which my (biracial, white presenting) child was being bullied by a Black peer. The bullying was only partially racialized, but I reported the entire picture via the bullying form, using clear language. "On X occasion, [Bully] came to my child's locker and punched next to my child's head, calling her XXX, a racial slur for biracial individuals. On Y occasion, [Bully] repeated the slur, and stood in front of the door keeping my child from leaving lunch. This was witnessed by [Paraprofessional]."

I found the administration very responsive, actually. I know I was probably lucky, but the fact that the bully was absolutely from a harder situation than my own child in a lot of ways did not mean that my child's needs were ignored, contra DCUM received wisdom.

OP here. What did the administration do in your case after you filled out these forms?

As stated by the other poster, I am afraid that the situation will become worse with the kid retaliating more if I fill the form and they call the kids parents.

The suggestion to have them move your child's locker to a more public place is a good one. Have them move it to a locker in front of the main office or something like that. It's not going to solve your problem but the more you can have your child move away from this child the better.

Filling out the bullying form means your concerns cannot be ignored. They have to send those forms and their responses off to some higher authority.

What makes you think they didn't call the parents already? Most school principals will call home for much much less.

Oh I just figured with about 65% low income families school will not be calling parents for these things unless there was something more substantial. School is zoned for DCC high schools.

[Anonymous]

What resolution are you looking for, practically?
Discipline is banned in MCPS, so resolution is something like getting your locker moved, or having an RJ session where your kid apologizes for being wealthier or having better parents.

[Anonymous]

Fill out the forms. Keep filling them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What resolution are you looking for, practically?
Discipline is banned in MCPS, so resolution is something like getting your locker moved, or having an RJ session where your kid apologizes for being wealthier or having better parents.

How the matter is handled depends on the principal or AP in charge of the matter. Some handle the matter with sensitivity, others try to sweep it under the rug.

[Anonymous]

Restorative Justice is in vogue. Do you want to subject your kid to this?