Aggressive unfriendliness in reformed churches

[Anonymous]

I don't know why single childless people make them uncomfortable. Anyone have any theories?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why single childless people make them uncomfortable. Anyone have any theories?

I don't think it's just discomfort. Rather it's that most theologically conservative churches (typically that overlaps with political conservativeness, but not always) are set up around families. The way to get involved and meet people is to be part of the various ministries that involve families. Even ministries that aren't officially for a specific age are designed to be family friendly because it's just a fact that most people in these churches are in families or are fairly young (if single).

Also I think in the evangelical community as a whole there's less and less of an understanding that Paul said that some people are called to stay single. One of the strengths of the most Reformed church I was ever at was their confirmation that for some people, singleness was a good choice. We had a good number of lifelong single men and women at that church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friendly, Christ-like people in the reformed tradition are that way despite, not because of, their theology. Calvin’s god is a monster.

Yikes. You really don't understand John Calvin, do you.
-lifelong Calvinist

Sorry, but I have to say I agree with the person you're responding to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friendly, Christ-like people in the reformed tradition are that way despite, not because of, their theology. Calvin’s god is a monster.

Yikes. You really don't understand John Calvin, do you.
-lifelong Calvinist

Lifelong Calvinists always say things like this, but I've never seen one actually explain why the God imagined by Calvin shouldn't be seen as a monster. I am aware that Calvin himself seems to have been a decent guy (at least by the standard of the time) who regretted some of the theological conclusions he felt he had to reach. But we're not talking about Calvin; we're talking about his understanding of God.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps your rainbow “pride” shirt and multi-colored cuckoo hair caused people to decline conversation due to a likely argument occurring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For PPs who don't know what Reformed is, it's denominations in the Calvinist tradition. Think non-mainline Presbyterians and probably other NAPARC churches (https://www.naparc.org/).

I was in the Reformed tradition for the vast majority of my life (Anglican now).

In my experience the Reformed tradition attracts heady intellectuals who are socially awkward.

+1

OP I have a lot of reformed/Calvinist friends. They are not at all socially awkward but the heady intellectual vibe is definitely there. If you start with a predestination/elect theology, throw in the social deficits we all have in the digital age, and then add some some post-pandemic church malaise - I could see how a church could feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friendly, Christ-like people in the reformed tradition are that way despite, not because of, their theology. Calvin’s god is a monster.

Yikes. You really don't understand John Calvin, do you.
-lifelong Calvinist

Lifelong Calvinists always say things like this, but I've never seen one actually explain why the God imagined by Calvin shouldn't be seen as a monster. I am aware that Calvin himself seems to have been a decent guy (at least by the standard of the time) who regretted some of the theological conclusions he felt he had to reach. But we're not talking about Calvin; we're talking about his understanding of God.

What part of the God of Augustine/Calvin (and I'd say Paul, but I'm assuming you'd disagree) do you argue is a monster? Is it the double predestination part? How else do you square up an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good Creator who can't handle sin unpunished with the fact that there is sin, then? Do you try the Anglican dodge of single predestination? Or do you just say "the Bible doesn't tell us so we can't entirely know?" Or do you think you can make Arminian theology fit the Bible? Or do you just not think the Bible is authoritative, in which case I'm 100% sure we're just going to have to agree to disagree.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Perhaps your rainbow “pride” shirt and multi-colored cuckoo hair caused people to decline conversation due to a likely argument occurring?[/quote]

Not OP and I have exactly zero idea where from the OP you'd get any idea that this assumption is remotely relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TBH, I'm such an introvert that I don't want people coming up to me constantly in a new church. But maybe that's just me.

Amen.