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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Leaving your baby
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Anonymous
| My son is 13 months old, and I have never left him overnight, nor do I feel ready to do so or feel that he is ready. And some on this board will criticize that, but do what is right for you and your family. |
Anonymous
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It sounds like you've already made up your mind and just want reassurance. I am sure your baby will be totally fine!
For me, I am agonizing about going away for a weekend when my DD will be 20 months old. I would NOT agonize if she were going to be at our house, with her crib and her stuff around. But this would be at our in-laws house across the country, and I am struggling with leaving her with people she only sees a few times a year (even if they are her grandparents) in a house and crib that is completely foreign to her. I am not sure if I am going to do it, even though I know it would be good for my husband and me. I think the deciding factor is that some people think what is best for them and their spouse, and some people think what is best for their baby. Honestly, it's just a personal decision with no right answer, although I would and could never leave my child for 4 weeks at at ime. No job is worth that to me. |
Anonymous
| I left my now-2 year old for a week at a time for work when she was a little over a year. Unfortunately, I had no choice but it was fine. Grandpa and Grandma came up to help Daddy and she had a very good time hanging out with them. |
Anonymous
| I left my 2yo for one night when I was in the hospital to have #2! SHe's now 3 and still haven't had a chance to leave the 2 kids since we have no family here. I would definitely go for it if I were you. I'd have no guilt! |
Anonymous
| Does your DH feel like the worst father ever? |
Anonymous
|
7:59, have some coffee for crying out loud. What a rude and unhelpful answer.
I know the feeling well, OP, I left my baby at 8 months for 5 days to go on business and I felt like the worst mother in the world too. And I was miserable the whole time. But he was fine and DH loved having the one-on-one time with him. We go away for weekenders every three months or so and my in-laws keep him ... he loves it, they feed him ice cream morning noon and night and i know they are slipping him the binky against my wishes  but he loves going over there and being spoiled rotten. It's a lot harder on you than it is on them. I like the PP who said that she resolved in the airport to have a good time and she did ... that's good advice.
Some moms/couples don't need that alone time to recharge their relationship and their own batteries. Some do. It's a personal decision. You and your baby will be OK, mom. You're doing great. |
Anonymous
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OP, my wife and I have left our kids with grandparents several times for vacations - if you trust the caregivers, I think it's a great experience for all involved. (Although as the kids get older, you have a more difficult time weaning them off of the spoiling that grandparents do. Ice cream EVERY night?)
As an aside, a pet peeve of mine are comments like, "I left my son when he was 4 months old for 2 nights, and felt like the worst mother in the world, but he was with my husband." The OP's question was about BOTH parents leaving her child with grandparents, and a response like this implies that a father is a second-level caregiver (like a grandparent) who is babysitting the child. He's not - he's a parent (just like a mother) who is watching his child. Period. I'm sure it's hard on a mother to be away from her kids for a few nights (just like it is for me when I go on business trips), but they are with their other parent. Maybe I’m oversensitive about this, but the implication that a mother is somehow derelict in her duties because she goes out of town (for whatever reason) and a father is the sole caregiver for his child for a few days is pretty insulting. |
Anonymous
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OP here, thank you so much for all the helpful answers! I'm leaving my daughter with my parents who she knows well (I've spent the night up there a few times with her, so she's familiar with the house). She'll sleep in her pack n play - which at home is her playyard - so it is familar. I just have never been away from her this long. That being said - it will be nice to get away and I'm looking forward to it. My parents are also very excited for the time alone with her. Thank you so much for all who responded with your opinions and information!
7:59 - I wan't going to respond to you, but...I came here to post to get advice from others based on how I'm feeling. It's not about my husband, but about me and my child. |
Anonymous
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I left my daughter at 5 months old for nearly two weeks for business travel. I will admit, it was really hard on me. I cried a lot and I missed her. But, she was with her Daddy, so I knew she'd be okay. Other than that, I haven't been away from her.
I just can't figure out who I could leave her with overnight. My father-in-law is elderly. My parents wouldn't be so good either. Maybe one of my husband's siblings. *shrugs* It'll happen eventually. |
Anonymous
Wow, what a bitchy comment. Personally I think it is wonderful for my child to spend overnight time with other loving and trusted adults. We are lucky to have two sets of grandparents who are willing and able to do it and it is such a special thing for everyone involved. I also think my child is better off for growing up with examples of parents who place a high value on nurturing a strong marriage. But that's what's best for us--I respect that you may make a different choice for your family. There is no need to act like you care so much more about your kid than I do. Insecure much? |
Anonymous
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"Honestly, it's just a personal decision with no right answer, although I would and could never leave my child for 4 weeks at at ime. No job is worth that to me. "
Can I borrow your crystal ball? |
Anonymous
We will be attending a wedding in a month when our DS will be 7.5 months old. He'll be staying with his grandparents and my brother has already offered to stay there in case there are any late night feedings if he wakes up. We have a crib there and he has slept there before and plan on spending a night or two before so he gets used to them and the room. Only going one night and will be about 2 hours away. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to it. OP, it is all about comfort level. If you are comfortable leaving your baby (at any age), trust those who will be caring for the baby, then go and have fun! I know I will be
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Anonymous
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Business trip when DS was 6 months old--away for 3-4 days. DS was with DH, I was nervous, but all was fine. Since then, I've been to conferences, each 3-4 days, every 4 months or so. I once went abroad for a week for work, and that was hard because I knew it was a longer flight home.
DS is 4 and DS has always been with either me or DH. We've never been away for a night, but have gone out for a few hours every once in a while. I don't mind, but DH does. |
Anonymous
| DD was just shy of 2 when we left her overnight (with my parents) the first time. DS is 6 months and we haven't left him yet. I won't leave him until he's consistently and reliably sleeping through the night -- never mind what he would want in the middle of the night, my parents are not interested in being awakened at 4 in the morning! |
Anonymous
| For those who are EBFing and have weekends away, how do you handle all the pumping and storing? I would love to do a weekend, but this seems like more than I could handle. Plus working full time I have guilt for being gone so long during the week anyway. |