How to deal with college son ghosting family over girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Op, I’m willing to grant you the possibility that you haven’t laid down some unreasonable ultimatum. If that’s the case (and the “choosing her over family” is instead the result of some toxic dynamic in their relationship or a personality disorder or something) then just keep making friendly low key and undemanding reach-outs.

The last thing you should do is guilt him or introduce some ultimatum now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Son has not responded to any communication since the Fall semester started. In his mind, he is choosing girlfriend over family. He probably has no idea how much hurt he has inflicted on us and his siblings. Not sure what to do.

This estrangement must be as difficult for him and GF as well. Try to get a wise neutral party involved to open communication channels. Be more opeem minded to try to understand each other when it happens.

[Anonymous]

What? Fall semester started like a month ago. I didn't see my kid until Thanksgiving. Let them fly.

[Anonymous]

Land the helicopter. He has only been in school for 4 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Didn't we just have this thread?

[Anonymous]

Send a letter in the mail.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

What happened? There must have been an argument or something.

[Anonymous]

Call the Dean of student affairs

[Anonymous]

How often have you been expecting communication from him?

[Anonymous]

Vague post with no follow up. Smells like troll to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you were pushy-pushy-pushy and it backfired and now you're the victim? I've heard this one before. What you do is stop being pushy and understanding that your son is now an adult, whose family will be with a future wife (his now GF or another GF) and not with you. He will always choose his future family over the family that you created for yourself. It's his turn.

Yup. Controlling and probably personality disordered op is causing drama and then trying to make themselves the victim, with a lie about siblings feeling hurt thrown in for extra sympathy.

[Anonymous]

my DD is dating your son OP! Let’s see, why is your son choosing her, the gf who he loves, over you and your childish, guilt-tripping, victimized behavior. 🤔 hmmmmm. Couldn’t say. But you’re making your bed! Nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, good-bye!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? Fall semester started like a month ago. I didn't see my kid until Thanksgiving. Let them fly.

+1 The histrionics are really over the top. It's September!

[Anonymous]

Op please tell us more. What was the situation before the girlfriend? How did he meet the girlfriend? Did you meet her? Are you supportive? Are there concerns you have with the girlfriend? We really need more information to help you.