Introduce self to boy's parents?

[Anonymous]

No I would not do this at age 15 - yikes

[Anonymous]

My daughter started serious boyfriends in 8th grade. The mother called me and asked questions about pregnancy and what would happen. The father was a doctor who loved his alcohol on the weekends. He asked me on the phone to come by the office to see him. I told him I had no medical needs. I don’t really blame him his wife had a black cloud constantly following her and was miserable pretty much all the time

My son had a pushy girlfriend whose parents were overkill with their demands on where she could go in the house and how I should supervise. That was a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter started serious boyfriends in 8th grade. The mother called me and asked questions about pregnancy and what would happen. The father was a doctor who loved his alcohol on the weekends. He asked me on the phone to come by the office to see him. I told him I had no medical needs. I don’t really blame him his wife had a black cloud constantly following her and was miserable pretty much all the time

My son had a pushy girlfriend whose parents were overkill with their demands on where she could go in the house and how I should supervise. That was a nightmare.

Sounds like DD does not have same bf now that sis in 8th. Curious if parents also contacted you when they broke up and if so, what if anything did they say then? Sorry, I am train wreck curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve never met the parents and haven’t eyeballed them, then you have NOT:

“confirmed parents are home” and NOT

“Confirmed no hanging out in his room.”

Do you actually ask them directly to confirm they will not let them in his bedroom? Where does it end? Do you ask if they will be supervised in the finished basement? This seems a lot for a 15 year old. Maybe you should reconsider letting her go to his house. They can meet up at a restaurant. I would be nice but can’t imagine making or getting a call like this. I have sons and daughters.

I haven’t asked to meet a parent before a playdate since elementary school. They have been dropoff only since well before middle school. We are well past the playdate age if we are discussing dating. Next will you be asking if they have a dog or a gun in the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve never met the parents and haven’t eyeballed them, then you have NOT:

“confirmed parents are home” and NOT

“Confirmed no hanging out in his room.”

Do you actually ask them directly to confirm they will not let them in his bedroom? Where does it end? Do you ask if they will be supervised in the finished basement? This seems a lot for a 15 year old. Maybe you should reconsider letting her go to his house. They can meet up at a restaurant. I would be nice but can’t imagine making or getting a call like this. I have sons and daughters.

I haven’t asked to meet a parent before a playdate since elementary school. They have been dropoff only since well before middle school. We are well past the playdate age if we are discussing dating. Next will you be asking if they have a dog or a gun in the house?

Why would you drop off an elementary school kid without having a clue about the parents?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, yes. I’d accept an offer to hang out a bit, too. See if they actually parent or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I would not do this at age 15 - yikes

Why yikes? 15 is still young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter started serious boyfriends in 8th grade. The mother called me and asked questions about pregnancy and what would happen. The father was a doctor who loved his alcohol on the weekends. He asked me on the phone to come by the office to see him. I told him I had no medical needs. I don’t really blame him his wife had a black cloud constantly following her and was miserable pretty much all the time

My son had a pushy girlfriend whose parents were overkill with their demands on where she could go in the house and how I should supervise. That was a nightmare.

'Serious' boyfriends in 8th grade? Parental fail. Did you tell her all the cool kids dated that young?

[Anonymous]

Yes I would reach out to them. What do you have to lose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve never met the parents and haven’t eyeballed them, then you have NOT:

“confirmed parents are home” and NOT

“Confirmed no hanging out in his room.”

Do you actually ask them directly to confirm they will not let them in his bedroom? Where does it end? Do you ask if they will be supervised in the finished basement? This seems a lot for a 15 year old. Maybe you should reconsider letting her go to his house. They can meet up at a restaurant. I would be nice but can’t imagine making or getting a call like this. I have sons and daughters.

I haven’t asked to meet a parent before a playdate since elementary school. They have been dropoff only since well before middle school. We are well past the playdate age if we are discussing dating. Next will you be asking if they have a dog or a gun in the house?

Why would you drop off an elementary school kid without having a clue about the parents?

Reread. We are talking about dating 15 year olds, not elementary school students. I was saying that I haven’t met parents for since elementary school playdates. I certainly don’t for my teenagers now before they hang out with any friends. As for when I stopped, I don’t remember exactly when but I know for sure no one was knocking on doors to meet parents by the time they were in middle school. That’s why I said before middle school.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Dropped DD off and didn't walk her to the door but asked that she text me to confirm parents were home once she was inside.

They watched a movie and my daughter reported back that the boy's mom essentially found a million excuses to check on them (I made you popcorn! Would you like a drink?) so a mom after my own heart.

Again, I don't know this boy at all and he doesn't go to my daughter's high school so that's why I was a bit nervous.

But it was all fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Dropped DD off and didn't walk her to the door but asked that she text me to confirm parents were home once she was inside.

They watched a movie and my daughter reported back that the boy's mom essentially found a million excuses to check on them (I made you popcorn! Would you like a drink?) so a mom after my own heart.

Again, I don't know this boy at all and he doesn't go to my daughter's high school so that's why I was a bit nervous.

But it was all fine!

If you don’t know boy/doesn’t go to high school, how did DD meet him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Dropped DD off and didn't walk her to the door but asked that she text me to confirm parents were home once she was inside.

They watched a movie and my daughter reported back that the boy's mom essentially found a million excuses to check on them (I made you popcorn! Would you like a drink?) so a mom after my own heart.

Again, I don't know this boy at all and he doesn't go to my daughter's high school so that's why I was a bit nervous.

But it was all fine!

If you don’t know boy/doesn’t go to high school, how did DD meet him?

Curious about above but does you DD say the boy also 15?

[Anonymous]

They met in a summer class. Yes, both are 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Dropped DD off and didn't walk her to the door but asked that she text me to confirm parents were home once she was inside.

They watched a movie and my daughter reported back that the boy's mom essentially found a million excuses to check on them (I made you popcorn! Would you like a drink?) so a mom after my own heart.

Again, I don't know this boy at all and he doesn't go to my daughter's high school so that's why I was a bit nervous.

But it was all fine!

Wonderful! I’m glad it worked out. I’m one of the PP above with teens who said i haven’t met parents since elementary. This is how I handle it exactly. Randomly offer food and often change the laundry, since our laundry room is in the basement and that’s where the finished rec/hangout space is. That mom sounds like me too. I’m glad it went well.