Is that double standard?

[Anonymous]

It’s not a double standard, it’s just a kind of spineless man who doesn’t know his own opinions and doesn’t have confidence to make decisions, so he’s constantly looking for external validation for his decisions and/or basing his choices on random things he’s heard that sound good.

My DH used to be like this. He has HFA and is really insecure about committing to things and doing things that people will approve of. His way of coping with his issues around perception of others’ feelings is to always be trying to do what he thinks “cool” or “normal” people do. The problem with that is that he’ll hear an offhand comment from someone once, like Legoland is for babies, or hip hop is trashy, and he’ll carry it around as gospel for life. Maybe your DH is similar, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop using the word ghetto it's so trashy.

lol says…anonymous you? Some of the greatest songs have ghetto in the literal title. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Legoland ethnic?

Stupid Dutch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Legoland ethnic?

Only Ninjago World.

[Anonymous]

not a hypocrite, but a jerk for us. why did you let him veto legoland? hip-hop is easier to understand as theres some value judgment. but Legoland is a non-brainer.

[Anonymous]

If your kids like to join hip hop dance then sign them up, same for Legoland. My DH is the lazy type and wants to save money too, but he understands it’s for our kids and we do it as a family, I sign kids up for things they’re interested in and plan for vacations ( we discuss in advance) kids are looking forward to, he pays and offers to drive kids/ us for classes ( we drive kids to different activities) and go on vacation with us as a family. If your DH listens to his brother all the time, ask BIL and his wife to help convince your DH for things you and your kids want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH did not like the idea of me suggesting signing up hiphop or street dance for our 2 kids like 1-2 years ago. I think it is really cool but he thinks they are kind of ghetto in terms of music, clothing & dance moves. He also did not take us to legoland while we were at san diego trip this summer. We had free tickets and he was not interested in legoland. DD was interested in legoland but we could not go if someone insists not going.

A few days ago, DH told me that his niece signed up for hip hop dance classes, and BIL family went to legoland this summer. I was so pissed when he told me about it. I asked what he thought, and he told me that it was nice and good for them. I was mad that he did not think hip hop classes is ghetto anymore and it is nice that they went to legoland. We could have signed up our kids with hip hop classes for our kids (one same age as niece) 2 years ago and went to legoland (with free tickets)this summer. Is that double standard of him? BIL is his brother.

Cultural appropriation is bad. He was in the right there.