What age to have “the talk”?

[Anonymous]

Just be casual about talking about it and let them know they can always ask questions without it being a big deal.

Don't make it "a talk" that is just awkward.

Kids know a lot these days with internet access. The old joke applies.....
Mom - "We need to have a discussion about sex."
Kid - "Ok mom, what do you want to know?"

[Anonymous]

5th grade. The big reveal happens in December in 5th grade. Just make sure it is before then.

[Anonymous]

We've talked about sex ever since each child asked us how babies were made (maybe 4 or 5 years old). My 6th grader still thinks it's disgusting but I am slowly starting to introduce that some adults find that it feels good. I make a point to discuss that it is for adults and only if both people are interested.

[Anonymous]

Look up Stanford University program called The Chat. 5 part zoom series live on puberty. They also send you a book. Fantastic!

[Anonymous]

We have just naturally talked about it throughout life in age-appropriate ways.... I would say at 10 and 12 now they understand how their bodies work as well as how the opposite sexes bodies work and know what sex is.... My 12-year-old has asked a lot about different positions and why someone would have sex if they didn't want to have a baby and so we dove into deeper topics. But my 10-year-old 100% knows how a baby is made.

[Anonymous]

My 12-year-old has asked a lot about different positions

I'm a MS teacher with two middle schoolers and a high schooler of my own and I'm having trouble imagining this...

[Anonymous]

My kid is seven and we did this last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started fairly early with the Robie Harris series of books. They progressively get more detailed and older-age appropriate. We started with Its Not the Stork at about age 9. Then, It's so Amazing at about age 11 and It's perfectly normal at age 12. I highly recommend the book series and reading it with your kid. You can explain things and see if they have questions.

You are sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started fairly early with the Robie Harris series of books. They progressively get more detailed and older-age appropriate. We started with Its Not the Stork at about age 9. Then, It's so Amazing at about age 11 and It's perfectly normal at age 12. I highly recommend the book series and reading it with your kid. You can explain things and see if they have questions.

These are the books we used. I read the book one-on-one with my kid and then answered any questions they may have had. Then they could re-read it (or not) as they choose. Over time they would come back to me with questions or observations. I love that they know they can ask me questions, no matter how silly or “gross” and that I’ll tell them the truth.

I did not want to wait until they asked about sex. I wanted them to have age appropriate but correct information about their body before they got incorrect information elsewhere. And even with the correct information, they come back to me with some crazy ideas!

[Anonymous]

we started very early with "Its not the stork", probably around age 4 o 5, just casually had the book around the house. We also started books on "good touch/bad touch" at that age as well. It just kind of naturally flows, we are very open, there is no embarrassment in any topic or conversation. Daughter is now 11. I would say most kids have general idea of sex and babies by age 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started fairly early with the Robie Harris series of books. They progressively get more detailed and older-age appropriate. We started with Its Not the Stork at about age 9. Then, It's so Amazing at about age 11 and It's perfectly normal at age 12. I highly recommend the book series and reading it with your kid. You can explain things and see if they have questions.

You are sick

"its not the stork" is really better suited for younger kids. I am surprised by how many parents are waiting till 8 and 9 to even begin having these conversations. You have no idea what kids are hearing at school, even at "good schools" -including talk of BJs in third grade. You need to get ahead of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yeah, we’ve mostly just taken things as they come. She’s asked more and more and I’m just open in general with her about body changes. I told her the things she needs to be looking out for as her body changes. She knows about periods.

However, she’s not asked about sex. They will have the official school talk next year in 5th I believe, so of course I want to get out in front of that. I’m surprised she hasn’t really asked more.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too open, because she openly talks about puberty coming up and was mentioning this to her friend (also 9) and the friend’s mom was like “we don’t talk about puberty” Which is weird right?

I don't think there's such thing as being too open (obviously, assuming you're doing it in an age appropriate way) with your kids are sex and their bodies. Other people choosing to leave their kids in the dark when it comes to sex is their choice. I'd tell your daughter that in your house, it's perfectly fine to talk about these things, but other people may be uncomfortable with it. There are girls who are starting their periods at age 9 or 10 so I don't understand why people thing it's taboo to have these conversations with their kids.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7 year old and almost 12 year old. I answer questions openly as they come up and the older daughter is really into animals and documentaries so mating had actually opened the door to other discussions.

With my 7 year old I haven’t said too much yet because I don’t trust her not to tell everyone else what she’s learned - and think that should be up to families to decide - but I will get her books soon. I’d just been thinking it was about time. When she has asked me how babies are made so far it’s “there is something from the man, called sperm, and the woman, called an egg, and they grow to make a baby.” Her follow up question was how her friend, who has two moms, grew her friend. And I said “your friend grew from an egg and sperm but I don’t know the details of which egg or where the sperm came from”. I’ve also talked to her about periods in a vague way when she asked what my tampons were for, whereas the almost 12 year old had known details for a few years.

[Anonymous]

We started very early with “What Makes a Baby” when my kids were 2 and 3 (this book is geared towards that age). Now at 5 and 6 we’ve been doing “It’s Not the Stork” and “What’s the Big Secret.” I try to keep an open door for questions and when they ask questions I try very hard not to divert (which is a struggle for me because I had a super prudish upbringing).

Also, whenever I hesitate to discuss an issue, I remind myself it’s either me or a random classmate. Maybe not yet, but within a couple years I’m sure the conversations will start at school, and I want to be ahead of it with factual information.