We need help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’d pursue onstuck and on target

I'm not actually sure what that means. Is that a therapy technique of some sort?

Yes. It can be very helpful, but I would get a diagnosis before choosing a therapy. You don’t want to treat anxiety if it’s autism or vice versa.

I mean, a lot of progressional think much of autism is anxiety from sensory input.

That’s interesting but still doesn’t mean OP should start selecting therapies without a single evaluation by a professional.

[Anonymous]

OP, you could be describing me at that age. I was misdiagnosed as ADD back in the mid-80s and that was that. In adulthood, I was diagnosed with autism and OCPD.

As a child I couldn’t wear certain socks or shoes (my mother bought specific socks and Keds in bulk), couldn’t wear jeans, was particular about things being perfect and would also react in self-harm ways when they weren’t, at one point, my mother had placemats at the table that had a strange texture that would trigger me into a frenzy. Other things too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you could be describing me at that age. I was misdiagnosed as ADD back in the mid-80s and that was that. In adulthood, I was diagnosed with autism and OCPD.

As a child I couldn’t wear certain socks or shoes (my mother bought specific socks and Keds in bulk), couldn’t wear jeans, was particular about things being perfect and would also react in self-harm ways when they weren’t, at one point, my mother had placemats at the table that had a strange texture that would trigger me into a frenzy. Other things too.

And how are you now?

[Anonymous]

Talk your doctor, get a work up. Don’t start treatment based on DCUM recommendations, you want to know what is going on. First step, call your pediatrician. GL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you could be describing me at that age. I was misdiagnosed as ADD back in the mid-80s and that was that. In adulthood, I was diagnosed with autism and OCPD.

As a child I couldn’t wear certain socks or shoes (my mother bought specific socks and Keds in bulk), couldn’t wear jeans, was particular about things being perfect and would also react in self-harm ways when they weren’t, at one point, my mother had placemats at the table that had a strange texture that would trigger me into a frenzy. Other things too.

Thanks for sharing this. How were your parents throughout all this? Any advice for a parent with a child like this?

[Anonymous]

He has autism. This is very clear (I have a kid with autism and know plenty of kids with autism).

You need to get a formal diagnosis from a psychologist, to receive services and accommodations in school, get recommendations for social skills groups and targeted therapy for his emotional outbursts and general mental rigidity.

What you're looking for is a neuropsychological evaluation. Stixrud in Silver Spring is excellent for this, but there are plenty of psychologist practices in the area, including hospital-based ones. It will cost you 5K and it's rarely covered by insurance. But it's worth it!

Chin up, OP. Once you do your research you will feel more in control and able to address the emotional, social and sensory issues.

Also, please do not EVER go to a general therapist when you don't have a diagnosis and have no recommendations from a psychiatrist or psychologist. It will be worse than useless. There are many different types of therapy and you need match the need to the method.

[Anonymous]

OP here and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has replied & contributed their thoughts to this thread.

DCUM can be a wild ride, but at its best, this is what it is. People taking time out of their day to help out someone who is having a hard time.

And to the posters saying don't go straight to therapy, I hear you. Diagnosis first makes sense in terms of order of operations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get an evaluation. There are many things that could be at the root of these behaviors, and you are right to be concerned. I would seek a full developmental work up and a psych evaluation as well.

Don’t worry, act. Your child is young and whatever is happening, earlier treatment will be beneficial. Try not to stress about the diagnosis. Wait for the professionals to make one.

You are a good mom. You are seeing things aren’t right and you are doing something.

This. Especially agree with the act now piece. Try to accept your emotions but don’t let them dominate. Pretend you are giving advice to a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you could be describing me at that age. I was misdiagnosed as ADD back in the mid-80s and that was that. In adulthood, I was diagnosed with autism and OCPD.

As a child I couldn’t wear certain socks or shoes (my mother bought specific socks and Keds in bulk), couldn’t wear jeans, was particular about things being perfect and would also react in self-harm ways when they weren’t, at one point, my mother had placemats at the table that had a strange texture that would trigger me into a frenzy. Other things too.

And how are you now?

I am fine, really good at masking. I am a successful adult, if that’s what you mean. I am happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you could be describing me at that age. I was misdiagnosed as ADD back in the mid-80s and that was that. In adulthood, I was diagnosed with autism and OCPD.

As a child I couldn’t wear certain socks or shoes (my mother bought specific socks and Keds in bulk), couldn’t wear jeans, was particular about things being perfect and would also react in self-harm ways when they weren’t, at one point, my mother had placemats at the table that had a strange texture that would trigger me into a frenzy. Other things too.

Thanks for sharing this. How were your parents throughout all this? Any advice for a parent with a child like this?

My parents were sort of in denial or detached? They were very career driven, so because I was successful in school and my issues didn’t cause THEM issues, I probably didn’t get the help I needed at the time.

My advice would just be to offer your child everything you can to succeed. I wish my parents had provided me with more help for my OCD tendencies because those were more crippling to me than my autistic traits; I was happy, but I was stressed constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you could be describing me at that age. I was misdiagnosed as ADD back in the mid-80s and that was that. In adulthood, I was diagnosed with autism and OCPD.

As a child I couldn’t wear certain socks or shoes (my mother bought specific socks and Keds in bulk), couldn’t wear jeans, was particular about things being perfect and would also react in self-harm ways when they weren’t, at one point, my mother had placemats at the table that had a strange texture that would trigger me into a frenzy. Other things too.

Thanks for sharing this. How were your parents throughout all this? Any advice for a parent with a child like this?

My parents were sort of in denial or detached? They were very career driven, so because I was successful in school and my issues didn’t cause THEM issues, I probably didn’t get the help I needed at the time.

My advice would just be to offer your child everything you can to succeed. I wish my parents had provided me with more help for my OCD tendencies because those were more crippling to me than my autistic traits; I was happy, but I was stressed constantly.

Thanks again for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Sounds similar in some ways to my stepDC with Asperger’s. Slightly off socially and the issues with clothing and spitting. It sounds texture and sensory based. OCD and repetitiveness are also common in kids with high functioning ASD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has autism. This is very clear (I have a kid with autism and know plenty of kids with autism).

You need to get a formal diagnosis from a psychologist, to receive services and accommodations in school, get recommendations for social skills groups and targeted therapy for his emotional outbursts and general mental rigidity.

What you're looking for is a neuropsychological evaluation. Stixrud in Silver Spring is excellent for this, but there are plenty of psychologist practices in the area, including hospital-based ones. It will cost you 5K and it's rarely covered by insurance. But it's worth it!

Chin up, OP. Once you do your research you will feel more in control and able to address the emotional, social and sensory issues.

Also, please do not EVER go to a general therapist when you don't have a diagnosis and have no recommendations from a psychiatrist or psychologist. It will be worse than useless. There are many different types of therapy and you need match the need to the method.

Agree. Well partly. I don’t know if your child is on the autism spectrum, and no one here can say that. But the next step will be a neuropsychological eval (from a psychiatrist or psychologist). Also agree do NOT see a therapist yet. Get the eval first. Talk to your ped, of course, but don’t want for a ped appt before getting a neuropsychological eval scheduled. They aren’t covered by insurance anyhow, call around and make an appt asap. It may be several months to get one.

[Anonymous]

My son was misdiagnosed at three years old as having mild autism. He hated the feel of new clothes, he wasn’t good at socializing. At 18 months he loved doing math games made for kindergarten but his speech was delayed. So they immediately went to autism.

He was finally diagnosed correctly with a nonverbal learning disability after extensive testing by the school. On testing his verbal IQ was 130 and his nonverbal IQ was 110. That’s a significant learning disability. He knew everything. When they do the one on one testing the tester keeps testing until the student doesn’t know the answers. In 3rd grade he was able to go to middle school levels in all subjects. It’s easier to do when in a one on one calm environment. He couldn’t produce written results on his own.

He got great help at school and we found activities that he liked to do. He had the same best friend all through school. He had girlfriends.

We made it work the best we could. You’ll be able to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was misdiagnosed at three years old as having mild autism. He hated the feel of new clothes, he wasn’t good at socializing. At 18 months he loved doing math games made for kindergarten but his speech was delayed. So they immediately went to autism.

He was finally diagnosed correctly with a nonverbal learning disability after extensive testing by the school. On testing his verbal IQ was 130 and his nonverbal IQ was 110. That’s a significant learning disability. He knew everything. When they do the one on one testing the tester keeps testing until the student doesn’t know the answers. In 3rd grade he was able to go to middle school levels in all subjects. It’s easier to do when in a one on one calm environment. He couldn’t produce written results on his own.

He got great help at school and we found activities that he liked to do. He had the same best friend all through school. He had girlfriends.

We made it work the best we could. You’ll be able to do the same.

It sounds like he was correctly diagnosed with autism. Many autistic children have NVLD. Your son was likely mildly autistic which is far different than being severely autistic. People with autism can have friends and romantic partners. They just also struggle with things like sensory stuff, speech, and social mores. Sounds like your son hit all of those criteria. Call it what you want at the outer edges of the diagnosis but our understanding of the spectrum has evolved perhaps to a point where it’s meaningless but - again, it’s identifying a cluster of symptoms, so, it’s still useful.