We need help

[Anonymous]

Something has felt off about DS9 for a while, but when I objectively look at his life, whatever is "off" has just never seemed bad enough to try to do anything about it.

And when things are "bad", it's pretty infrequent. Like, he'll have a couple bad days in a row every other month or something.

But I feel like it's time to take a next step, and I'm just at a loss of what comes next. I'm feeling very down and overwhelmed right now, so if anyone has been through something similar or has some advice, I'd be very appreciative. I'm feeling like an awful mom right now. And I feel like he needs help, and I need help figuring out how to deal with all this.

The good stuff... He does great in school, no issues ever from the teachers. He has a best friend, and some acquaintances. He is a very independent kid and can spend hours coming up with his own fun. He's very capable and a rule follower to the point he can feel like a little hall monitor sometimes.

So now... what "off" means.

- He has only ever worn pants / long sleeves since he was 3.
- He seems to be a bit of a germaphobe and has a thing where he spits when feels "icky".
- When he can't do something right, he can really flip out. He will start talking about how dumb he is. Lately, the part that's freaking me out, is he starts hitting himself. He will also do this if he does something wrong and I "punish" him. I am putting punish in quotes, because it's just me telling him that the behavior is unacceptable, and that he needs to go to his room to calm down". I am not screaming or hitting or grounding him or anything.
- He never says I love you.
- He can be awful to his younger brother. Yesterday they were wrestling and he ended up hurting him on purpose.
- Socially he's a bit off.

I have researched a bunch of stuff online, and he's like never hurt an animal or anything, so I don't think I have a sociopath on my hands, but I am kind of feeling out of my league right now.

[Anonymous]

Get an evaluation. There are many things that could be at the root of these behaviors, and you are right to be concerned. I would seek a full developmental work up and a psych evaluation as well.

Don’t worry, act. Your child is young and whatever is happening, earlier treatment will be beneficial. Try not to stress about the diagnosis. Wait for the professionals to make one.

You are a good mom. You are seeing things aren’t right and you are doing something.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like what was previously thought of as Asperger’s along with OCD (germs, rule following, hitting himself, and inability to wear long sleeves or pants).

Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a neuropsychologist who can do an assessment.

You know something is off and you are being a great mother to have it investigated rather than ignoring it. This way you get help if needed both for him and your family. His behaviors are clearly impacting you, him, and sibling. I know it’s scary and overwhelming but you are doing the best thing possible to try and understand what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like mild autism, which sounds scarier than it is. You can get an eval but likely the therapies wouldn’t be based on the diagnosis. Get therapy. Maybe consider anxiety meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like mild autism, which sounds scarier than it is. You can get an eval but likely the therapies wouldn’t be based on the diagnosis. Get therapy. Maybe consider anxiety meds.

What kind of therapy would you look for?

[Anonymous]

Yep, something is off. Ask the pediatrician what direction to go in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like mild autism, which sounds scarier than it is. You can get an eval but likely the therapies wouldn’t be based on the diagnosis. Get therapy. Maybe consider anxiety meds.

What kind of therapy would you look for?

I would consider an OT eval, I would look into social skills groups, and I’d pursue onstuck and on target. I’d get an anxiety evaluation and start meds.

[Anonymous]

I’d pursue onstuck and on target

I'm not actually sure what that means. Is that a therapy technique of some sort?

[Anonymous]

It could be a million things - ADHD, ASD, anxiety, a learning disorder, a mix. Get a full neuropsych to get some answers, which will lead to solutions. Ask on the SN board for provider suggestions, or ask your ped.

This is the hardest time OP - when something is bad enough to get an eval but before you have actionable information. An answer is out there and your kid is relying on you to find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’d pursue onstuck and on target

I'm not actually sure what that means. Is that a therapy technique of some sort?

Yes. It can be very helpful, but I would get a diagnosis before choosing a therapy. You don’t want to treat anxiety if it’s autism or vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’d pursue onstuck and on target

I'm not actually sure what that means. Is that a therapy technique of some sort?

Yes, it’s a technique. Very helpful for kids who are rigid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’d pursue onstuck and on target

I'm not actually sure what that means. Is that a therapy technique of some sort?

Yes. It can be very helpful, but I would get a diagnosis before choosing a therapy. You don’t want to treat anxiety if it’s autism or vice versa.

I mean, a lot of progressional think much of autism is anxiety from sensory input.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety?

[Anonymous]

Autism or PANDAS?

[Anonymous]

Please don’t start seeking therapy based on a DCUM diagnosis. Your son needs a proper evaluation and diagnosis. Then you can take the next steps.