Anything I can do of kids with parents divorcing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not close friends. The kids aren't close friends. I think anything outside of a little extra conversational kindness (between you and kid, or kid to kid) when the opportunities arise would invite serious awkwardness.

+1 This is the right answer. Do not change your behavior on account of the divorce.
You will regret it otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not close friends. The kids aren't close friends. I think anything outside of a little extra conversational kindness (between you and kid, or kid to kid) when the opportunities arise would invite serious awkwardness.

+1 This is the right answer. Do not change your behavior on account of the divorce.
You will regret it otherwise.

I'm not the OP but I'm curious why you think she would regret that?

[Anonymous]

What you can do is give them privacy and avoid gossiping about them to others, and shut down anyone who gossips about them to you.

[Anonymous]

Ok. You are actually friendly acquaintances. So, I would invite the kid over for a play date. Giving the kid something fun to do on a Saturday might be nice for her since your kid likes her too. And sometimes, this is how you become friends with people. And that would be ok too.

I don’t understand all these people who think you should not even invite a kid over when you have already been to bday parties with this kid. This is how we have lost all sense of community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not close friends. The kids aren't close friends. I think anything outside of a little extra conversational kindness (between you and kid, or kid to kid) when the opportunities arise would invite serious awkwardness.

I was surprised she even told me since we don’t know one another well. I invited a few kids over for a play date and she was telling me. I do not think she has a lot of support, which is why I thought I should try to help her.

Should I try to have child over for another play date?

My child has much closer friends but still likes the other girl. At another child’s birthday party, the other girl came up to me and told me that my child is her best friend so I do think the other girl likes my child.

Her telling you is irrelevant. You should not be involving yourself or do anything at all.

This. Sometimes when it’s fresh, it just comes out as they process and it doesn’t matter to whom you’re talking. If you like the kid, maybe just offer to host play dates sometimes to give mom a break. Don’t have to say it’s because I know things are rough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. You are actually friendly acquaintances. So, I would invite the kid over for a play date. Giving the kid something fun to do on a Saturday might be nice for her since your kid likes her too. And sometimes, this is how you become friends with people. And that would be ok too.

I don’t understand all these people who think you should not even invite a kid over when you have already been to bday parties with this kid. This is how we have lost all sense of community.

No one at all said she shouldn’t invite the child over. Not one post says that here.

[Anonymous]

She might regret having blurted it out to you in a moment of weakness. Since you are not friends with her, it's probably more awkward for her than you realize. But you are kind for wanting to cheer her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

[Anonymous]

This is foolish and not appropriate for you to try to sort of comfort. Stay out of it and continue on as normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

Sounds like you’re more than acquaintances that just nod at each other at drop off. I think your impulse (invite kid over for an extra playdate here and there, be kind, and let mom know you’re there to help) is totally appropriate given the circumstances. And maybe you’ll even become better friends.