Are parents hinting/fishing for babysitting services? Questions they ask about my oldest child

[Anonymous]

Maybe they want to figure out if you are a soccer mom, hockey mom, or they can find you at home on weekends?

[Anonymous]

I might ask someone because my oldest is in 8th grade and HS is uncharted territory. I don’t know many high schoolers and what they are interested in or doing. It’s a whole new ball game that I’m suddenly interested in. If I was looking for a sitter I’d just ask outright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they ever explain why they’re asking? They have a high school niece, they’re trying to anticipate when their kids get older, whatever? The texting seems really weird.

My question too. I've never asked more than a couple basic questions about older siblings and have never texted them later just for the heck of it. I could see myself asking if say, my child was nearing the age of yours and I was interested in what activities are offered for that age group. But I would probably frame it more directly like "oh your kid does tennis? I'm thinking of having my son switch leagues next year. Where does he play do you like it, what's it like... "

I can't picture what a random text about your teen would even be. Give an example!

[Anonymous]

Weird, I wouldn't answer beyond generic questions. They should just ask if she babysits.

[Anonymous]

Probably just curiosity about having an older kid. The texting is weird but I can't imagine they're thinking "if I ask more about Brittney's theater hobby, maybe she'll offer to babysit."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, if they wanted her to babysit, they'd ask directly. Parents these days are busy and the request is an easy one: the teen can say yes or no. Why would they waffle around and look like creeps? So yes, these follow-ups are a little odd, OP.

+1 I would just ask does she happen to babysit, we’re looking for a new sitter.

A yes or no answer is fine. It’s not a huge deal. I don’t know why anyone would dance around this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see them not outright asking, if you mention a lot of extracurriculars.

Op back. Yes, usually I have mentioned just as that’s been the flow of Lance plays soccer, Chris plays tennis, Britney is a rower.

FWIW, nearly 99% of the time, the other parents do not have a teen so I was curious if it could also just be curiosity.

If they are only texting about the teen, it is weird. If you are friends/friendly, it can just be conversation. I posted before I had two teen boys and people ask me about sports often. I also ask others about college. It is just conversation. For example, my 3 kids all play tennis and we are very family with tennis in the DMV. My kids are good, like varsity tennis good but not D1 recruit level good. When I see parents in high school, I like to hear about their kids playing club sports or what activities they do. It is basic conversation at games normally. With my kids’ actual friends, I ask how Sally is doing and what sports she is playing. It is purely just conversation. I wouldn’t think too much about it if a few parents are asking about your teen.

[Anonymous]

Also maybe your teen sounds interesting. I have a friend whose daughter is a fantastic gymnast. I have always been interested in her since she is so talented. I was friends with her mom before she was born though. It isn’t like I’m some creepy stranger texting her just about her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have my oldest child who is in high school, two youngest are in elementary.

People I meet at the elementary school ask a lot of questions about my teen. What is she into, what does she do for fun, where does she go to school, generally a heavy focus on her interests. Often I notice they will also text me after and ask again about her and what she likes to do.

I am not sure if they are fishing for babysitting services or simply curious about what life is like with a teenager. I was recently at a party for the middle child and the same thing happened with a fellow guest.

I am curious from the other side, if that is what is happening or if it’s simply curiosity?

Why are you answering them? If they are looking for a sitter then they can contact your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might ask someone because my oldest is in 8th grade and HS is uncharted territory. I don’t know many high schoolers and what they are interested in or doing. It’s a whole new ball game that I’m suddenly interested in. If I was looking for a sitter I’d just ask outright.

Then ask a HS teacher who is far more qualified to answer your questions about HS. If I were OP, I would have asked why she was so interested in my daughter. It is creepy and texting is even creepier. Stear clear of this woman.

[Anonymous]

I am a high school teacher, and parents, especially when my own kids were a lot younger than high school age, were super fascinated about the teenagers I work with, kinda probing and weird at times in their questioning. My own take is that people are fascinated by teenagers and make a lot of presumptions about them, and newer parents may remember their own teenage years more clearly and feel pretty boggled by how it's going to go when they have a teenager of their own. Oh -- and there is also an underlying "what activities/academics are these teenagers engaged in to get into ___ fancy college" stuff that can be in the subtext.