Are parents hinting/fishing for babysitting services? Questions they ask about my oldest child

[Anonymous]

I have my oldest child who is in high school, two youngest are in elementary.

People I meet at the elementary school ask a lot of questions about my teen. What is she into, what does she do for fun, where does she go to school, generally a heavy focus on her interests. Often I notice they will also text me after and ask again about her and what she likes to do.

I am not sure if they are fishing for babysitting services or simply curious about what life is like with a teenager. I was recently at a party for the middle child and the same thing happened with a fellow guest.

I am curious from the other side, if that is what is happening or if it’s simply curiosity?

[Anonymous]

Other than texting you later, I would think it’s just curiosity of what it looks like for someone who’s been there. Texting - really depends on the context.

If you really want to get your anxiety up, it’s possible that they think your younger kid is weird and wondering if your older me was the same and outgrew it. Or they think you are weird and wondering how the older kid ended up ok. The possibilities are really endless.

[Anonymous]

The texting seems a little odd. Everything else seems like completely normal curiosity about older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The texting seems a little odd. Everything else seems like completely normal curiosity about older kids.

+1. If someone really did text you something along the lines of, “nice meeting you! Just wondering, what is your teen daughter into?” I’d stay away from them.

[Anonymous]

I have two teen boys and an elementary daughter. Both my boys are very active and good at what they do. Parents often ask me about tennis or basketball or academic activities they do. Maybe it is because they are boys but no one has ever asked me about babysitting. I often will ask my friends about activities my daughter is interested in that my boys did not do like ice skating or dance.

I’m not sure why you think people want something from you.

[Anonymous]

No, if they wanted her to babysit, they'd ask directly. Parents these days are busy and the request is an easy one: the teen can say yes or no. Why would they waffle around and look like creeps? So yes, these follow-ups are a little odd, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, if they wanted her to babysit, they'd ask directly. Parents these days are busy and the request is an easy one: the teen can say yes or no. Why would they waffle around and look like creeps? So yes, these follow-ups are a little odd, OP.

Agree

[Anonymous]

People who are looking for babysitters outright ask.

I did not want to babysit and did not solicit jobs. The handful of times I did, my mom was the intermediary for people with emergencies or who wouldn't take no for an answer because "all girls babysit".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two teen boys and an elementary daughter. Both my boys are very active and good at what they do. Parents often ask me about tennis or basketball or academic activities they do. Maybe it is because they are boys but no one has ever asked me about babysitting. I often will ask my friends about activities my daughter is interested in that my boys did not do like ice skating or dance.

I’m not sure why you think people want something from you.

Me again. I just reread your post and it is definitely weird if people follow up about her like that.

I think it is normal to ask about siblings. I have one kid in middle and one in high school and parents seem to have questions about the school. They are less interested in my actual sons.

[Anonymous]

Do they ever explain why they’re asking? They have a high school niece, they’re trying to anticipate when their kids get older, whatever? The texting seems really weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, if they wanted her to babysit, they'd ask directly. Parents these days are busy and the request is an easy one: the teen can say yes or no. Why would they waffle around and look like creeps? So yes, these follow-ups are a little odd, OP.

I think they’d ask directly too. On a side track, I’m always curious when people say parents these days are busy. Parents have been busy since the time when most families started to have two working parents. Why is it presumed people are busier now?

[Anonymous]

I have a son who babysits. People sometimes ask questions about him and then ask if he babysits. I think they are feeling out whether he is the kind of kid they would trust.

But the text thing is weird. If it was once I might be thinking they will say “my stepdaughter will be here this summer, would your daughter be interested in meeting her?” Or something like that.

[Anonymous]

I can see them not outright asking, if you mention a lot of extracurriculars.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PPs! Yes, so high schooler is the only female child. The younger two are boys.

Yes, it’s was nearly exactly that 15:33, “Nice to meet you. You said your daughter was turning 15, right?”

Nothing added from them like my niece is 13/14/15 or anything else which is why my closest thought was fishing for babysitting. I’m hopeful since these are parents that it wasn’t nefarious but it’s happened across both younger classes.

I don’t find myself asking about other peoples teens or kids so it does stick out to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see them not outright asking, if you mention a lot of extracurriculars.

Op back. Yes, usually I have mentioned just as that’s been the flow of Lance plays soccer, Chris plays tennis, Britney is a rower.

FWIW, nearly 99% of the time, the other parents do not have a teen so I was curious if it could also just be curiosity.