MIL has money but chooses poverty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL was an attorney who was a SAHM when she got married then divorced so returned to work very reluctantly, was laid off a decade ago, then refused to find any work. Now, she's a hoarder who was forced to sell her house or face foreclosure, so she sold her (million-dollar) house she couldn't afford, nobody could afford as we all have small kids and daycare's a fortune. And now she's got money, she refuses more than an AirB&B despite nobody having room for her (plus she has untreated dissociative disorder diagnosed ages ago, and paranoia, keeps thinking she's spied on). She's talking an endless loop completely self-centered, hates everyone but her kids, and expects her kids to sacrifice all for her, and never cares about her grandkids unless it's to ask favors related to her hoarding in her storage unit. We keep asking county services social workers for help but since she has money but refuses help or an apartment longer than an AirB&B stint, she's effectively choosing homelessness. Or doing a loyalty test to see who will rescue her (spoiler: nobody will). What would you do?

you are forgetting she had to pay taxes on any gain over cost basis

[Anonymous]

Have her gift you the money and then she will qualify for government housing. If it’s more expensive than section 8 (something like below market rate housing) you can pay for it from her gift.

[Anonymous]

Was there a mortgage? Does she have almost a million from the sale?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have her gift you the money and then she will qualify for government housing. If it’s more expensive than section 8 (something like below market rate housing) you can pay for it from her gift.

No, then she'll be out of luck with Medicaid when she needs a nursing home because of the look back period. Even aside from defrauding the housing program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have her gift you the money and then she will qualify for government housing. If it’s more expensive than section 8 (something like below market rate housing) you can pay for it from her gift.

MIL does NOT sound like someone who'd be willing to gift her kids all her money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have her gift you the money and then she will qualify for government housing. If it’s more expensive than section 8 (something like below market rate housing) you can pay for it from her gift.

No, then she'll be out of luck with Medicaid when she needs a nursing home because of the look back period. Even aside from defrauding the housing program.

The law has all loopholes pretty much tied up, because obviously people are going to do this.

She has dementia and was never mentally healthy in the first place, so her kids need to force her, by hook or by crook, into some sort of long-term rental. No purchases, because she will shortly have to get into a memory care unit or similar, whether or not it's paid by her or paid by the state.

There are institutions, OP, where the patient pays with their own money at first, and when everything is gone, they stay onsite with Medicaid.

But her kids need to do their research now, because there are waitlists everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have her gift you the money and then she will qualify for government housing. If it’s more expensive than section 8 (something like below market rate housing) you can pay for it from her gift.

No, then she'll be out of luck with Medicaid when she needs a nursing home because of the look back period. Even aside from defrauding the housing program.

The law has all loopholes pretty much tied up, because obviously people are going to do this.

She has dementia and was never mentally healthy in the first place, so her kids need to force her, by hook or by crook, into some sort of long-term rental. No purchases, because she will shortly have to get into a memory care unit or similar, whether or not it's paid by her or paid by the state.

There are institutions, OP, where the patient pays with their own money at first, and when everything is gone, they stay onsite with Medicaid.

But her kids need to do their research now, because there are waitlists everywhere.

Most places don't honor waitlists or that is our experience. If they have a bed they want it filled that day. They will take who ever calls. OP MIL clearly has no money from the post. She's probably not able to do more between finances and medical.

[Anonymous]

Op
How much money does she have? Does anyone have poa? Best bet is to simply rent a place in an assisted living and drop her there and tell her this is it. She can’t make decisions anymore.
Before my mom’s dementia was evident I still operated under the assumption she could make rational decisions. We visited a couple assisted living facilities and it was clear she couldn’t handle a decision.’