A Question for Serious Runners

[Anonymous]

When my brother ran a marathon, he asked my sister and I to meet him at a specific mile marker, bring his specific protein bar and a T-shirt change. My advice is to ask her what she needs.

[Anonymous]

She wants to do this alone with her friends that she trained with. She doesn’t want you there.

[Anonymous]

Former serious runner here. Agree with the staying home, but have an idea of what TO do. Sometime later, like the next weekend after her energy is back, get together with her and listen to the step by step account, dramatic moments, etc. You sound like such a nice mom. If you're far away then over the phone is good too, and can be done sooner.

[Anonymous]

I was always so miserable after a race from pushing so hard I wanted to be alone

[Anonymous]

If she’s asked you specifically not to go - don’t, and don’t push the issue. As a person who enjoys running for one of the benefits of absolutely not worrying or thinking about anything but the run I’m on, don’t give her something to stress or think about. Your presence may make her nervous or just create an additional load on her mind she would rather not have. Or, crossing the finish line might not be a huge deal for her, and she just doesn’t want to put anyone out for it. And traveling to see her cross a line, is just that. I did a marathon and other small runs, and have never had the desire to have family or friends there. I do the run, I enjoyed the process of getting there and if I had others runners to hang with after, that would be the camaraderie I’d desire. It’s not a bad thing. Maybe she would love to see your face at the finish. But maybe not. And, if you just show up it may upset her. Wait for another one and see if she wants you there. Let her have this first experience as her experience and how she see’s it happening for herself and only herself.

[Anonymous]

You are an entitled idiot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD (in her twenties) is going to run her first marathon this Fall. She has worked hard, and I am proud of her, even though I am totally unathletic myself.

I have recently retired, and assumed I would travel the few hours away to cheer her on when it happens. When I discussed that with her this weekend, she was hesitant. She said I certainly could attend, and she understood my desire to be supportive...but explained that afterwards she would likely to out with her running friends. So I would be traveling for hours and staying in a hotel, but interact with her very little.

To those of you who are serious runners...should I just stay home? Is it normal that her family members would not be included in social festivities after the race (along with her friends)? I am torn. Thank you.

This isn't about running at all but really about your dd going on a girls trip (which this is, a girl's trip oriented around her hobby) and not wanting a parent there. Cheer her on at local events instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she’s asked you specifically not to go - don’t, and don’t push the issue. As a person who enjoys running for one of the benefits of absolutely not worrying or thinking about anything but the run I’m on, don’t give her something to stress or think about. Your presence may make her nervous or just create an additional load on her mind she would rather not have. Or, crossing the finish line might not be a huge deal for her, and she just doesn’t want to put anyone out for it. And traveling to see her cross a line, is just that. I did a marathon and other small runs, and have never had the desire to have family or friends there. I do the run, I enjoyed the process of getting there and if I had others runners to hang with after, that would be the camaraderie I’d desire. It’s not a bad thing. Maybe she would love to see your face at the finish. But maybe not. And, if you just show up it may upset her. Wait for another one and see if she wants you there. Let her have this first experience as her experience and how she see’s it happening for herself and only herself.

Agree. I love my parents and extended family but would not have wanted them at my marathon. I would not have felt comfortable ignoring them over the weekend and wouldn't have rested like I needed to before and after. And I really wanted to share the moment with my training group without having to worry about introducing anyone.

[Anonymous]

I would skip it, but maybe check the race website afterward and order her some merch she might not order for herself? That way she knows you are proud of her achievement without her having to worry about entertaining you when she's already got a lot to worry about, while being REALLY tired.