Nerdy parents have popular kid…now what?

[Anonymous]

Just buy her what she asks for within reason, and drive her where she wants to be.
I am poor, but I find my son gigs participating in studies, and his dad (not poor) gives him allowance, so he saves up for what he wants. He does thrifting too (I drive him to goodwill). Otherwise he figures it out on his own. I remember being the badly dressed kid and try to help him wear what he wants (he does heave to work for it so it’s fine).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Encourage her to be popular because she's kind and inclusive, not popular because she's haughty and elitist. Have good snacks at your house and be a friendly parent who will drive kids home. Encourage your kid to use her popularity to shut down bullying and encourage her friends to include others.

This. And encourage her to do a wide range of activities. A lot of the "popular" kids drop things they like, like band or chess or even honors classes, to keep up with the crowd.

[Anonymous]

Agree with those saying don’t let yourself feel happy or proud or even think about her popularity. Next year is a whole new ball game. Often the girls who are popular in fifth grade are brutally rejected in middle school. So be prepared for a reversal.

You don’t want her to think she was great because she was popular and now that everyone has turned on her, she’s somehow less great.

Encourage her to find her own path and not get caught up in what others are doing or saying.

[Anonymous]

I thought this was going to be about a high school kid. Your kid hasn't even hit middle school yet. A lot can change and you don't know if you have a "popular" kid.

The "now what" in general is do not focus on this at all and never use the word popular other than to talk to your child about the concept and validating that it's very normal to notice who is popular at their age and for it to be feel good to be popular, but in the end it isn't real and it doesn't matter. Be a good friend, stay true to who you are, and if you are blessed/cursed to be popular, think about what you're willing to do and being asked to do to stay there and whether it's worth it to you.

[Anonymous]

Big deal. Be prepared for a 180 turn in middle school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Big deal. Be prepared for a 180 turn in middle school

Right I came to post...popular in ES does not mean popular in middle school where kind and popular is much harder,

[Anonymous]

My daughter was popular from preschool through about 11th grade where she chose to be with a boyfriend every free moment she had and dropped most friends.

I don’t get why the OP thinks anyone cares anything about her. Life isn’t a movie. The mothers weren’t a part of some cult or even knew each other.

I think mothers hang out sometimes when their kids do the same activities. But that “popular group” don’t all have the same activities.