This sounds really bad -- but I hate volunteering at my child's private school

[Anonymous]

Teacher recs aren't all THAT important. Bad ones could hurt an app, but no teacher rec alone gets a kid into Harvard. It also implies a high level of corruption on the part of teachers. They are busy people with their own lives; they are not logging in parent volunteer hours and then running to their grade book to bump upnjunior's average.

[Anonymous]

Teacher recs aren't all THAT important. Bad ones could hurt an app, but no teacher rec alone gets a kid into Harvard. It also implies a high level of corruption on the part of teachers. They are busy people with their own lives; they are not logging in parent volunteer hours and then running to their grade book to bump up junior's average.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the stress either. Sure I've met some people who are easier to talk to than others, but if one person isn't friendly, then I'm sure you can find others who are. I can't really believe that every mom who participates in the auction at your child's school is going to snub you. I think that what often happening in those situations is that everyone is nervous and self-conscious and afraid to be the first one to make a move. And since no one's making any move to be friendly, each individual just assumes everyone else is a bitch. Instead of waiting for someone else to "smile, nod, and say hello," why don't you just put on your big-girl undies, walk up to someone, and say hi?

That's what we'd all tell our kids to do on their first day at school, so why can't we do it? Man up.

[Anonymous]

Because we might end up talking with someone like you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the stress either. Sure I've met some people who are easier to talk to than others, but if one person isn't friendly, then I'm sure you can find others who are. I can't really believe that every mom who participates in the auction at your child's school is going to snub you. I think that what often happening in those situations is that everyone is nervous and self-conscious and afraid to be the first one to make a move. And since no one's making any move to be friendly, each individual just assumes everyone else is a bitch. Instead of waiting for someone else to "smile, nod, and say hello," why don't you just put on your big-girl undies, walk up to someone, and say hi?

That's what we'd all tell our kids to do on their first day at school, so why can't we do it? Man up.

Except for the fact that high school Queen Bees grow up to be college Queen Bees and so on -- bad habits are hard to break. I have to admit that I've always been popular, in school, career, socially, but I have an independent streak and a keen awareness when a QB walks into the room. Maybe I'm too aware because the QB usually doesn't know how to treat me. I think they sense that I am on to them and I'm not going to tolerate being treated like crap, nor will I tolerate other people being treated poorly. Now, that sounds very confident, but when I sense a QB, I still get a knot in my stomach because I know what's coming down the pike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we might end up talking with someone like you?

That's exactly what I was thinking. I would NEVER describe myself or my husband or my child like that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the stress either. Sure I've met some people who are easier to talk to than others, but if one person isn't friendly, then I'm sure you can find others who are. I can't really believe that every mom who participates in the auction at your child's school is going to snub you. I think that what often happening in those situations is that everyone is nervous and self-conscious and afraid to be the first one to make a move. And since no one's making any move to be friendly, each individual just assumes everyone else is a bitch. Instead of waiting for someone else to "smile, nod, and say hello," why don't you just put on your big-girl undies, walk up to someone, and say hi?

That's what we'd all tell our kids to do on their first day at school, so why can't we do it? Man up.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Why would you say "man up" to a woman poster? That phrase is overused and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you say "man up" to a woman poster? That phrase is overused and annoying.

Sure it is, but so are nine-tenths of the things on DCUM. You're not trying to change the subject, are you? Does it make you uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we might end up talking with someone like you?

That's exactly what I was thinking. I would NEVER describe myself or my husband or my child like that...

Actually, I was reacting to the big-girl undies/man up poster rather than the OP.

[Anonymous]

Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads makes for a fascinating read. Written about parents in this area. Just because someone is of adult age doesn't mean that they act like adults.

There is lots of baggage between parents trying to relive their earlier school years or trying to remake them into something they wished they had experienced. Then, you've also got the SAHMs duking it out with the moms who work outside the home.

I have seen many moms who had previous professional careers very unhappy with their loss of prestige and power trying to recreate a situation through volunteering in which power and respect is hoping to be restored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher recs aren't all THAT important. Bad ones could hurt an app, but no teacher rec alone gets a kid into Harvard. It also implies a high level of corruption on the part of teachers. They are busy people with their own lives; they are not logging in parent volunteer hours and then running to their grade book to bump upnjunior's average.

I'm not implying that teachers and staff are corrupt, but rather that they are human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you say "man up" to a woman poster? That phrase is overused and annoying.

Sure it is, but so are nine-tenths of the things on DCUM. You're not trying to change the subject, are you? Does it make you uncomfortable?

Gosh, no, Dr. Melfi. I think "man up" is a staple of adolescent boy conversation and find it irritating, sexist and juvenile, particularly in a post directed at an adult woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher recs aren't all THAT important. Bad ones could hurt an app, but no teacher rec alone gets a kid into Harvard. It also implies a high level of corruption on the part of teachers. They are busy people with their own lives; they are not logging in parent volunteer hours and then running to their grade book to bump upnjunior's average.

I'm not implying that teachers and staff are corrupt, but rather that they are human.

But for a teacher, saying they change the grade or rec because of parental influence is an integrity issue.

[Anonymous]

In the U.S. Congress and in social convention the tradition is for new members and people new to any social circle to be slightly deferential to the established members of the group. Established members of the group who have social graces will then reach out and welcome new members of the group. Some do, but unfortunately many people are coarse by nature and will not.