Huge crush on my child’s doctor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look up anxious attachment and limerance

Came here to mention limerence. There’s a really supportive subreddit dedicated to those experiencing it. Hugs to you ❤️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sponseller?

As a former Hopkins peds nurse- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Please say no. Also I think he had a stroke (heard through grape vine)

[Anonymous]

Op here. Not Sponseller. I don’t live in the DMV anymore so it’s a super specialized pediatric doc in the SW.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Gah it’s been months and my crush is only getting bigger.

Like I’m so attracted to this doctor and think about him all the time.

I feel so embarrassed even though I haven’t done anything and I won’t.

I’m starting to think he MAYBE feels something for me?

He always spends a lot of time with us at our appointments even though I know he’s crazy busy.

He’s called my phone before from his personal cell phone (to talk about results, but still!!).

He even said once to me “you have my cell number, right?”

He also said once that he’s married to a woman like me.

You guys obviously he’s in love with me too, the evidence is irrefutable! (I’m kidding. I mean, I WISH).

[Anonymous]

This seems pretty normal and I felt a version of it for a specialist who figured out many of my child’s issues. Even my DH got tongue tied around this doctor when he’d see him in the grocery store. At the next appointment we all joked about it and the doctor made a comment that this type of thing happens a lot. The doctor saw you, he cared for your precious child, he treats your family with care and respect, he is patient, he is kind, he is knowledgeable but not arrogant.

What’s not hot about that?

[Anonymous]

I totally had a crush on my reproductive endocrinologist and I’m sure a million other patients did too because he’s super popular in my city for being a great and compassionate doctor. Nbd.

[Anonymous]

You should redirect your attention to someone else. For example:

https://childrens.wvumedicine.org/about-us/leadership/federico-seifarth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems pretty normal and I felt a version of it for a specialist who figured out many of my child’s issues. Even my DH got tongue tied around this doctor when he’d see him in the grocery store. At the next appointment we all joked about it and the doctor made a comment that this type of thing happens a lot. The doctor saw you, he cared for your precious child, he treats your family with care and respect, he is patient, he is kind, he is knowledgeable but not arrogant.

What’s not hot about that?

Op here. You’re right. It is hot. And I’m sure it happens to them a lot, especially over the course of a long career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should redirect your attention to someone else. For example:

https://childrens.wvumedicine.org/about-us/leadership/federico-seifarth

Op here. Wow!!!!!!!!!! He is even hotter than Dr. Ross (George Clooney) on ER.

I can’t cheat on my current doctor boyfriend though, not even in my mind.

My crush isn’t flashy and hot and he’s also like, 30 years my senior. He’s such a nerd and that’s part of the appeal for me.

He also told me he’s never seen Facebook or AI. Like NEVER. He’s so wholesome and sweet. And that’s hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that for me, sometimes these feelings are because I am finally being seen and heard and someone is taking a focused interest in the hardest part of my life.

I was going to say this too. It’s sometimes better and sometimes worse but I have struggled to feel like my spouse and I are parents in dealing with our kids SN (other aspects of our marriage are better) and I so desperately want someone one this journey with me. When someone fills that partner feeling I’m looking for, it is such a powerful feeling.

Plus competency and good with kids is an incredibly attractive combination. It’s ok OP. Don’t do anything dumb but it’s fine.

Op here. Yes I think it’s this. DH and I don’t connect well on this topic (or in general really since our child with SN was born).

There’s also something about this doc. He’s in his 60s so he’s old school and a white male. But he’s still collaborative and deferential to me. Like he listens to me. And I don’t always get that from other doctors and especially not white male doctors over the age of 60. I don’t mean to stereotype but sometimes the more old school docs I find don’t like to be questioned. This doc isn’t like that. Like he’s not super warm and “nice” but he doesn’t get triggered just because I have questions or concerns. He seems like he enjoys me. I think there is also something about the quiet authority like another PP said. And also I mean, I do respect my GP or my kids pediatrician, but I don’t admire them in the same way. This doc is sort of a big deal. Like he’s brilliant and one of just a handful of docs with these credentials. Even after 5 years it still leaves me a little star struck I guess.

I’m over here just wishing I could get in with a good doc for my son. Let alone have some fun with it.

I’m jealous OP. But I do get it and don’t think it’s weird at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First off, I recognize that I sound crazy.

We see a specialist doctor for my DS and have been seeing him for 5 years (since DS was 1 year old). We see him every few months or sometimes every month when DS is having issues.

I am so embarrassed that I have developed these feelings. This doctor is in his 60s and a MASSIVE nerd and not even especially charismatic or conventionally attractive. I am in my 30s.

We have never had any kind of interaction that was flirty. Well, ok I take that back. I do sometimes think there’s a little bit of a vibe between us. But it’s not flirting. It’s more that I think he likes my family and our case is interesting for him. He does sometimes go above and beyond for us, but I don’t know if we are getting special treatment or if he treats all his patients this way.

You guys, I am having deeply inappropriate dreams and fantasies about this doctor every day for months now. It’s so bad I’ve made my DH go to the last several appointments without me because I’m afraid the doctor will be able to tell. It’s become an obsession. Like he’s on my mind constantly. So many fantasies and scenarios every single day. This has never happened to me before. Like crushing so hard on someone where it is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN EVER.

I assume this must be normal on some level, right? Has anyone else had this happen to them? I’ve heard of it happening to people with their therapists before but maybe not to this degree.

See a therapist to change your immature mindset or change kid's doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that for me, sometimes these feelings are because I am finally being seen and heard and someone is taking a focused interest in the hardest part of my life.

I was going to say this too. It’s sometimes better and sometimes worse but I have struggled to feel like my spouse and I are parents in dealing with our kids SN (other aspects of our marriage are better) and I so desperately want someone one this journey with me. When someone fills that partner feeling I’m looking for, it is such a powerful feeling.

Plus competency and good with kids is an incredibly attractive combination. It’s ok OP. Don’t do anything dumb but it’s fine.

Op here. Yes I think it’s this. DH and I don’t connect well on this topic (or in general really since our child with SN was born).

There’s also something about this doc. He’s in his 60s so he’s old school and a white male. But he’s still collaborative and deferential to me. Like he listens to me. And I don’t always get that from other doctors and especially not white male doctors over the age of 60. I don’t mean to stereotype but sometimes the more old school docs I find don’t like to be questioned. This doc isn’t like that. Like he’s not super warm and “nice” but he doesn’t get triggered just because I have questions or concerns. He seems like he enjoys me. I think there is also something about the quiet authority like another PP said. And also I mean, I do respect my GP or my kids pediatrician, but I don’t admire them in the same way. This doc is sort of a big deal. Like he’s brilliant and one of just a handful of docs with these credentials. Even after 5 years it still leaves me a little star struck I guess.

SUPER. You sound somewhat immature op.

[Anonymous]

Crushes are fun, OP. This all gave me a good laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off, I recognize that I sound crazy.

We see a specialist doctor for my DS and have been seeing him for 5 years (since DS was 1 year old). We see him every few months or sometimes every month when DS is having issues.

I am so embarrassed that I have developed these feelings. This doctor is in his 60s and a MASSIVE nerd and not even especially charismatic or conventionally attractive. I am in my 30s.

We have never had any kind of interaction that was flirty. Well, ok I take that back. I do sometimes think there’s a little bit of a vibe between us. But it’s not flirting. It’s more that I think he likes my family and our case is interesting for him. He does sometimes go above and beyond for us, but I don’t know if we are getting special treatment or if he treats all his patients this way.

You guys, I am having deeply inappropriate dreams and fantasies about this doctor every day for months now. It’s so bad I’ve made my DH go to the last several appointments without me because I’m afraid the doctor will be able to tell. It’s become an obsession. Like he’s on my mind constantly. So many fantasies and scenarios every single day. This has never happened to me before. Like crushing so hard on someone where it is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN EVER.

I assume this must be normal on some level, right? Has anyone else had this happen to them? I’ve heard of it happening to people with their therapists before but maybe not to this degree.

See a therapist to change your immature mindset or change kid's doctor.

Op here. Why would I need to change doctors over this? My son is getting good care which is what’s most important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that for me, sometimes these feelings are because I am finally being seen and heard and someone is taking a focused interest in the hardest part of my life.

I was going to say this too. It’s sometimes better and sometimes worse but I have struggled to feel like my spouse and I are parents in dealing with our kids SN (other aspects of our marriage are better) and I so desperately want someone one this journey with me. When someone fills that partner feeling I’m looking for, it is such a powerful feeling.

Plus competency and good with kids is an incredibly attractive combination. It’s ok OP. Don’t do anything dumb but it’s fine.

Op here. Yes I think it’s this. DH and I don’t connect well on this topic (or in general really since our child with SN was born).

There’s also something about this doc. He’s in his 60s so he’s old school and a white male. But he’s still collaborative and deferential to me. Like he listens to me. And I don’t always get that from other doctors and especially not white male doctors over the age of 60. I don’t mean to stereotype but sometimes the more old school docs I find don’t like to be questioned. This doc isn’t like that. Like he’s not super warm and “nice” but he doesn’t get triggered just because I have questions or concerns. He seems like he enjoys me. I think there is also something about the quiet authority like another PP said. And also I mean, I do respect my GP or my kids pediatrician, but I don’t admire them in the same way. This doc is sort of a big deal. Like he’s brilliant and one of just a handful of docs with these credentials. Even after 5 years it still leaves me a little star struck I guess.

SUPER. You sound somewhat immature op.

Op here. Immature how?