Sharing "windfall" with family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Save your money. Your successful siblings aren’t going to want to bail you out if life takes a downturn for you financially. Put aside money to gift your nephew and any future nieces/nephews at significant milestones if you want to be generous.

OP here. Money is saved. I have passive income that has ~30 years left and can sustain me. Nobody is going to need to bail me out.

But you don't own your own residence. Do you have disability and LTC insurance? Unless you are ultra high net worth, you should be spending money to stabilize your own life first. Are you not interested in finding your own partner ever?

[Anonymous]

My sibling got a windfall when they sold a company and took all of us and our kids on a nice luxury vacation. It was amazing and very much appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give the nephew the $10k, and write letters to the siblings saying how much you appreciate them and their example and that you’re planning similar gifts for any additional grandchildren.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just got word that a significant amount of money will be coming my way and I would like to share it with my (both older) siblings. To provide background they're both married and successful engineers, homeowners with nice cars, and great careers. I'm the single sibling that lives a chaotic life and enjoys every minute of it! ...

All that being said, I'm considering 10k for each of them and then 10k towards my only infant nephew's college fund....


As far as what I'm doing with the money? Nothing but letting it sit in my Vanguard brokerage account. I dont own a house, I have a car that's paid off. I'm comfortable but don't need more and (if you grew up poor) spending money needlessly terrifies me. Weird situation, but one that's not going to change my life much.

You're an aunt to 1 infant. Never know if there will be more...You don't own a house/condo/coop so unless you live in a great deal on a rent controlled property in NYC then don't give the $ to the sibs. Ge a place of your own. So give 5k to the nephew s 529 or a nice amount for 1 to the parents - noote if you itemize deductions on federal 4k is deductible in VA. Varies per state so gift to parents then to 29 might be good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Save your money. Your successful siblings aren’t going to want to bail you out if life takes a downturn for you financially. Put aside money to gift your nephew and any future nieces/nephews at significant milestones if you want to be generous.

Aren't you the selfish prick going through life? What an a... Nice gesture Op, I wish I had a sibling like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Save your money. Your successful siblings aren’t going to want to bail you out if life takes a downturn for you financially. Put aside money to gift your nephew and any future nieces/nephews at significant milestones if you want to be generous.

Aren't you the selfish prick going through life? What an a... Nice gesture Op, I wish I had a sibling like you.

No, I have witnessed people going through difficult times later when they thought they were set for life. OP’s siblings and niece may someday actually need financial help even if OP does not. That is the time to be generous. If you never had to ask family for money, you are fortunate.

[Anonymous]

What kind of windfall are we talking about? Hard to advise OP without numbers.

[Anonymous]

Hire a fiduciary financial advisor for one or two meetings.

[Anonymous]

What is a “chaotic.life”?

[Anonymous]

A significant amount that is not going to change your life? Passive income for 30 years? You are being too vague.

[Anonymous]

My reply would be different if your siblings were struggling, but from what you describe they are already doing well and a gift of 10k is going to have a minimal impact on the trajectory of their lives.
Agree with pp’s that you should instead use the money to take the entire family on a memorable vacation or do something else meaningful.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand that you want to show your siblings you appreciate them. But giving people who have money 10K will just be a blimp on the radar. (Our brokerage and 401K accounts can easily go up and down well over 10K in a day.) Give them something that they will remember, that will create a memory.

A trip, though that involves a lot of logistics and we see on DCUM how many SILs get up in arms over being forced to do IL trips.

A group family portrait + a family portrait for each individual family?
A special meal at a well-known, high end restaurant?
A spa day for the women and men, with some small gift for each on arrival, and the 5K for the 529?

Whatever you do, create a memory of thanks. 10K will not do that. It will probably make them uncomfortable. Giving money isn't really a form of thanks unless the people need the money.

[Anonymous]

If you only have one baby nephew there could be more kids coming along later, is there a different way to create a college fund that allows for that?

[Anonymous]

OP. You’re awesome. My DH and I grew up with very little. We are now financially successful and very generous. I’m amazed at how cheap people are. Especially those with a lot more money. It’s nice to see people like you still exist. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to do a trip, another idea is to take everyone to a professional sports game and get a suite or club seats. If there's a team you all root for that could be really memorable. you can even get custom jerseys.