Sharing "windfall" with family

[Anonymous]

I just got word that a significant amount of money will be coming my way and I would like to share it with my (both older) siblings. To provide background they're both married and successful engineers, homeowners with nice cars, and great careers. I'm the single sibling that lives a chaotic life and enjoys every minute of it! Neither one of them *need* money to say the least lol

I've been thinking about how I can share this with them. All of us are estranged from our parents and my siblings have honest to God been incredible with the examples they set. We grew up fairly poor and they're 100% the reason I didn't end up in the poverty cycle. I wouldn't be where I'm at in life without them carving the way.

All that being said, I'm considering 10k for each of them and then 10k towards my only infant nephew's college fund. I know they'll do all they can to say no, so is there a creative or sentimental way I can ensure they know I am doing this with no expectations? I'd love to hear your stories, all I can find is nightmare scenarios online!


As far as what I'm doing with the money? Nothing but letting it sit in my Vanguard brokerage account. I dont own a house, I have a car that's paid off. I'm comfortable but don't need more and (if you grew up poor) spending money needlessly terrifies me. Weird situation, but one that's not going to change my life much.

[Anonymous]

Save your money. Your successful siblings aren’t going to want to bail you out if life takes a downturn for you financially. Put aside money to gift your nephew and any future nieces/nephews at significant milestones if you want to be generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Save your money. Your successful siblings aren’t going to want to bail you out if life takes a downturn for you financially. Put aside money to gift your nephew and any future nieces/nephews at significant milestones if you want to be generous.

OP here. Money is saved. I have passive income that has ~30 years left and can sustain me. Nobody is going to need to bail me out.

[Anonymous]

I would use it for specific gifts or milestones. Honestly, if my sibling gave me $10K, I'd be shocked and appreciative... and then I'd deposit it and it wouldn't make any impact on my account. If he said, "I got you dinner reservations at that place you've always wanted to go to with a $500 tasting menu" then it would be more impactful.

[Anonymous]

Agree that a thoughtful, meaningful gift for your siblings would be more impactful. Pay for a special vacation?

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure why you would give this money to siblings when you don’t own a home. You can show gratitude without giving them money.

I thought you won the lottery or something.

[Anonymous]

This is thoughtful!
What do they like? I think it’s perfectly fine to gift them the money and let them do what they want as long as you are sure you don’t need it. You could also pay for a nice vacation for them. I think that would be awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would use it for specific gifts or milestones. Honestly, if my sibling gave me $10K, I'd be shocked and appreciative... and then I'd deposit it and it wouldn't make any impact on my account. If he said, "I got you dinner reservations at that place you've always wanted to go to with a $500 tasting menu" then it would be more impactful.

This.

[Anonymous]

How about paying for a big family vacation- African Safari or something?

[Anonymous]

Give the nephew the $10k, and write letters to the siblings saying how much you appreciate them and their example and that you’re planning similar gifts for any additional grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give the nephew the $10k, and write letters to the siblings saying how much you appreciate them and their example and that you’re planning similar gifts for any additional grandchildren.

PS: don’t write a check for the $10k with the note. Say you’re ready to write the check once the parents decide how they want to handle it - their own 529 (you’d write the check to them), a 529 in the child’s name (to the child), or a UGMA account (to the child). There are good reasons for each, so let them figure it out and tell you when they’re ready.

[Anonymous]

I would plan a family vacation to an all inclusive resort and foot the bill for everyone the entire trip.

[Anonymous]

I also think just paying for a family vacation is the way to go here. And buy yourself a house or condo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would use it for specific gifts or milestones. Honestly, if my sibling gave me $10K, I'd be shocked and appreciative... and then I'd deposit it and it wouldn't make any impact on my account. If he said, "I got you dinner reservations at that place you've always wanted to go to with a $500 tasting menu" then it would be more impactful.

Yes to this.

If you were just randomly generous about something fancy or a great trip somewhere I'd love that so much more than a check. Fly everyone somewhere cool! Go on a cruise with your siblings for someone's milestone birthday and you pay the bill. Set up your own long term care (ok that one is less sexy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would use it for specific gifts or milestones. Honestly, if my sibling gave me $10K, I'd be shocked and appreciative... and then I'd deposit it and it wouldn't make any impact on my account. If he said, "I got you dinner reservations at that place you've always wanted to go to with a $500 tasting menu" then it would be more impactful.

This.