Sibling living in deceased parent’s home

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the sibling has an ADHD/ASD profile. Their career will never be stable. They are not able to sort through their parent's stuff, and they cannot plan (even though they think they can), which is why everything will always be in limbo for them.

So you'll have to exert more pressure, OP.

What you do is you call an estate sale firm to look over the items in the house. Most of it is likely very low value, but they can give you a quote and sell everything for you. They get most of the money in return, you and sibling get a little something. It's fair, since they're doing the work. Some estate sales also sell the homes, but you can do that with a realtor on your own.

You divide the proceeds, and your sibling does their own way, and hopefully won't need your assistance in the future.

[Anonymous]

A year is more than enough time. Your siblings has had an entire year of free rent to save up to either buy you out of the house or get another living arrangement. I would tell them time is up and start the process of clearing out and selling the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the sibling has an ADHD/ASD profile. Their career will never be stable. They are not able to sort through their parent's stuff, and they cannot plan (even though they think they can), which is why everything will always be in limbo for them.

So you'll have to exert more pressure, OP.

What you do is you call an estate sale firm to look over the items in the house. Most of it is likely very low value, but they can give you a quote and sell everything for you. They get most of the money in return, you and sibling get a little something. It's fair, since they're doing the work. Some estate sales also sell the homes, but you can do that with a realtor on your own.

You divide the proceeds, and your sibling does their own way, and hopefully won't need your assistance in the future.

NP. I know this is going to be my sibling. I'm the executor and I'm really dreading it. My sympathies OP!

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. We offered to give the house to sibling plus whatever from the rest of the estate would even it out, and I take the remainder assets. Sibling doesn’t want house, just time. I’m going to set a 2 month deadline and then we start the probate process.

[Anonymous]

Be prepared to get a lawyer to file a partition suit. The executor should consult a lawyer about whether eviction will be required. The carrying costs to keep him in the house can be subtracted from his share but the executor needs to do a good accounting. It’s best to put the amount withheld into escrow or an account that the sibling doesn’t have access to rather than distributing it. If the sibling files a counter suit for that amount and it’s reduced or they unlikely win the executor will have a problem clawing it back.

[Anonymous]

I'm the prior poster who cleared out a house in 1 month.

Given the sibling is entrenched in the house you may want to consult a lawyer about possible eviction and timetable.

I saw where Mom's estate is paying the carrying costs of the house while sibling is inside. I'd talk to the lawyer about that also.

Sibling has worked a good pay stable job for 6 years. Honestly that is much longer than most people in America.

Have very low expectations for monies from the contents of the house. We got $750 after everything sold at auction. I gave a lot to MOm's caregivers. I wish I'd given them more of the rugs and furniture but I was so exhausted at the end.

Do you have other siblings? If so, you have a responsibility to get through the estate settlement in a timely manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…

Sibling seems to think parent would have wanted me to leave home available for as long as needed.

this is complete and utter gaslighting on the part of the sibling living in the house. If your parent wanted this, it would have been in a last will and testament. Since it isn't in a will (if there was one). Then said parent's intent was for the estate to be divided. All the rest is noise by the sibling that is playing on your sympathies.

Get that sibling out and move on. The sibling can argue they are still going through the grieving process in an apartment.

[Anonymous]

Just be careful because in a similar situation, the sibling who lived there did not maintain the house and over the course of their squatting the property value went way down. Water damage, maintenance, etc. were not done plus the market shifted and property values went down due to market conditions.

[Anonymous]

You will likely never salvage this relationship. Consult a lawyer and proceed because no matter what you do, sibling will be totally unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

I would not wait any longer to get probate started. It will take awhile to get that ball rolling. And it is not like you have to sell it immediately once probate has started. It is your job as the executor to do this. If you don't do it the other sibling could come after you for not starting the process.

You may also need to end up evicting the sibling if they do not move out. Make sure you that you follow the laws to do that. In MoCo you need to give official notice. I am sure a lawyer can help with that.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Sell the house and give sibling their share.

[Anonymous]

Sibling doesn't want the house, just wants "time"?

You probably need to help the sibling find a different living arrangement and help them move. But get them out of the house. They won't care for it and it sounds like they cannot afford it.

A year has been enough time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sibling has had this current well paying job for about 6 years, before that was in and out of work, with housing paid for by employer or living with parent or friends. So never had reason to find own place. Did not pay rent and deceased parent’s account is now paying for carrying costs.

Will divided estate equally across siblings. What’s fair here? Sibling neither wants to move (long story, but job is unstable) nor buy out full ownership even though they have the savings to do so. Wants others to wait until some undetermined time - maybe another year or two - when sibling expects to be more stable in work/life.

Doesn't sound like there's any reason sibling cannot rent. Stable job for 6 years? Get a month to month lease if not sure about job prospects, that's fair.

[Anonymous]

This is absolutely ridiculous. What does your attorney say? If you haven’t started probable after a year you have likely subjected the estate to tax penalties and interest and your siblings or the court may petition to remove you. As the executor you have obligations under the law which it doesn’t seem you are meeting. You have allowed your sister to manipulate you at the expense of yourself and your other sibling for too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the executor and the house is probably about 40 percent of the estate. We haven’t started probate yet as we’ve trying to give sibling time to sort themselves out, grieve, figure out job…

Sibling seems to think parent would have wanted me to leave home available for as long as needed. I’ve been trying to be reasonable and don’t want to have to evict my sibling, but by the same token, having this hanging over me and my family is stressful because anything could go wrong with the home, and we’d have to then deal with it. I’m just ready to be done with this and move on. Is a year too short?

If you parents intended them to have the house, they would have left it to them in the will (equitable or not).