Senior Year - Online or Public School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC was in churchill in freshman year and had substance abuse issues due to getting involved with bad influence friends group. When diagnosed, had generalized anxiety disorder and take meds and do therapy. Completed sophomore and junior years thru online school with very good grades. Was not in touch with any of the wrong group of friends. Therapist wants dc to go back to public school for senior year as a prep for the college. DC says their mindset has changed and won't want to connect with bad influence friends. Not sure if going back to the same environment will make dc relapse as dc is impulsive, is very loyal to friends and and only thinks of the consequences after the damage is done. Then, dc truly regrets it. Has churchill become better or worse in terms of strict measures for drug usage, going out of school during school hours,etc. School counselor says it is up to DC and cannot be making constant checks on DC. What checks can be done by the parent at school? Not sure if need to take a chance and send back to the same environment or continue with online school for last year of school. Cannot afford private school.

No qualified substance abuse treatment program would recommend going back to triggers. File a COSA or do a homeschool co-op. - MSW

[Anonymous]

Op here - Thank you all for your suggestions as it really helps in making the tough decision to send or not. I wish school took more responsibility in ensuring a safe environment. I plan to discuss with dc and then, with the therapist to analyze the pros and cons of both the options and then, take a decision. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Can you apply for a private school at this point? I don't know how private school admissions work, but it would seem to be the best of everything--- your kid would be in a normal school environment, but not with the influence factors. Privates usually also have smaller class size, which could be helpful.

I think the problem, though, would be getting all of the graduation requirements in--they often have different course requirements and your kid's current transcript may not address everything.

If not private, then I would recommend the COSA. There's not much advantage of the counselor knowing your kid in terms of college admission. A couple of years ago, my kid's counselor left and she had a new counselor write her recommendation letter without ever meeting her. (He arrived in August, it was due in October, and they literally never met in between, but worked from her 'brag sheet.').

[Anonymous]

I would file a COSA and request a different nearby HS. This way, child is not encou tiring the same bad I fluency frie ds on a daily basis. It's hard to remain strong though 180 days of school - the peer pressure will be real, and I would say this is a great reason for COSA

[Anonymous]

OP here - Thank you. I can apply for COSA. I understand all public high schools have drug issues. But, is there less in any of the other public high school?

[Anonymous]

OP here - Also, cannot afford private school fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Thank you. I can apply for COSA. I understand all public high schools have drug issues. But, is there less in any of the other public high school?

No, there's not really any specific school that is going to have fewer drug users than another, and I would have guessed that Churchill has less than average. Your son is going to have to remain vigilant and seek out positive influences, but at least it will be a little bit harder to find the drug users if he doesn't already know who they are.

[Anonymous]

I'd see if they can do senior year at MC or a hybrid. MVA is closed so I'm assuming you are talking about a private online program. I'd probably do online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HS is very different from college. I am not sure it's going to help that much. I would keep him at the online school.

I agree with this. Nothing about a senior year in a public high school is "preparation" for college.

In this case, the preparation here is reintegrating with peers and being able to resist bad influences. College is going to be a whole new set of opportunities to make poor choices. If OP’s son can’t manage a return to in person as a senior, I’d be really concerned about sending him to college with no supervision.

OP - has your son retained contact with the “bad influences”? What about friends from the neighborhood and in elementary and middle school? It sounds like your son went to high school as a freshman in the 2021-22 school year. That year was crazy, coming back after the virtual year where far too many kids had been unsupervised for a year. That wasn’t a school specific issue. But it’s been two years and those other kids have also changed or may no longer be there. Even if they are there, it’s unlikely that they would specifically be interested in your son as long as he isn’t specifically seeking them out.

I think you should listen to the therapist and have your son return to his original high school. This will let him reconnect with kids he had positive relationships with and demonstrate his new self to them, if he wishes. Whether or not he really makes new friends, at least it lets him have closure by going back. But most likely he will discover that everyone has changed and he will make a new group of friends.

-HS teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Thank you. I can apply for COSA. I understand all public high schools have drug issues. But, is there less in any of the other public high school?

No, there's not really any specific school that is going to have fewer drug users than another, and I would have guessed that Churchill has less than average. Your son is going to have to remain vigilant and seek out positive influences, but at least it will be a little bit harder to find the drug users if he doesn't already know who they are.

And you would have guessed wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Thank you. I can apply for COSA. I understand all public high schools have drug issues. But, is there less in any of the other public high school?

I’m confused. Exactly what drug issue is going on at Churchill? And why aren’t you going to the school board about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you ask for a COSA to a different school, in hopes that he develops a new peer group?

Alternately, could he dual enroll at MC and take classes there?

+1
I would ask for a COSA. You have a very good reason to request one and there are tons of schools within a 10 minute drive from the Churchill district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Thank you. I can apply for COSA. I understand all public high schools have drug issues. But, is there less in any of the other public high school?

I don't think you'd escape drug issues at any high school in our area but at least he could avoid the old bad influence friends at a new school. I would try Wootton first, then WJ, then Whitman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HS is very different from college. I am not sure it's going to help that much. I would keep him at the online school.

I agree with this. Nothing about a senior year in a public high school is "preparation" for college.

In this case, the preparation here is reintegrating with peers and being able to resist bad influences. College is going to be a whole new set of opportunities to make poor choices. If OP’s son can’t manage a return to in person as a senior, I’d be really concerned about sending him to college with no supervision.

OP - has your son retained contact with the “bad influences”? What about friends from the neighborhood and in elementary and middle school? It sounds like your son went to high school as a freshman in the 2021-22 school year. That year was crazy, coming back after the virtual year where far too many kids had been unsupervised for a year. That wasn’t a school specific issue. But it’s been two years and those other kids have also changed or may no longer be there. Even if they are there, it’s unlikely that they would specifically be interested in your son as long as he isn’t specifically seeking them out.

I think you should listen to the therapist and have your son return to his original high school. This will let him reconnect with kids he had positive relationships with and demonstrate his new self to them, if he wishes. Whether or not he really makes new friends, at least it lets him have closure by going back. But most likely he will discover that everyone has changed and he will make a new group of friends.

-HS teacher

Please do not listen to this well-meaning person who has no experience treating substance abuse. DO NOT go back to original school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - DC has not been diagnosed with ADHD. As per psychiatrist and therapist, dc is learning and should adjust to connect to the emotion that leads to impulsive behavior so that it will help in controlling impulsiveness. As per them, though there will be challenges but the socialization and benefits to dc's development is critical to gain to deal with real world challenges.

As the parent, you are best positioned to make the call. It sounds like you know what is best, but are hearing different from professionals. In your position, I would go with my gut and keep dc online, perhaps with dual enrollment. If you aren't certain, then try sending him back and be ready to pull him out at the first sign of relapse. He is still young and vulnerable. Online is going well...give him one more year to solidify his health.