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Another Wedding Post - HOW OLD and How Much?
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Anonymous
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We were 24. My mom paid for the whole thing. About 12k - smallish, at her house.
We don't have a house yet - I don't expect any money for a downpayment when we do, though. |
Anonymous
| DH and I are too proud to accept handouts. |
Anonymous
Nice try. |
Anonymous
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I was 30, DH was 36.
My parents paid about 80k, DH's parents threw us a rehearsal dinner for about 10k and an engagement party. We paid about 3k for additional costs and we paid for the honeymoon. No help with the downpayment on the house, but I think DH may have had some help with the downpayment on the condo he had before I met him. Our parents are both successful and really wanted to do this for us. For me, I'm the only daughter and I don't have any cousins. My wedding was a big deal for the entire family and we will likely not have another celebration like that for a long time. It was really great that we could all be together for such a beautiful and really fun celebration. Those memories will last a lifeime for me and my family. It was a heafty pricetag, but we could afford it and it was worth it. |
Anonymous
| 11:07 again. I should add, we made sure that the wedding was all about the guests. They traveled from all over and we wanted them to have really nice evening/weekend and also have a blast. I was more like an anti-bridezilla, worrying about everyone else. |
Anonymous
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OP here. We had a lavish wedding that we paid for ourselves. Wouldn't change a thing. I agree with PP, it was anti-bridezilla, worrying about everyone else who had traveled from all over.
We made a ton of sacrifices and bought our own house. We have paid for our educations ourselves as well (multiple advanced degrees). I was just curious if we were in the right area for us, with others who are self made. I know it is a different perspective. |
Anonymous
| 33. The wedding was about 10K in Austin,2009. My dad passed away ten years ago. He had money put away for our (my 2 sisters and myself)weddings. So my mom footed the bill. We paid for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. |
Anonymous
| 23, married at the courthouse, but I'm pretty sure that DH and I footed the $25 for that. Parents bought lunch for us and the other 8 or so people who came to the wedding, probably about $400-$500. |
Anonymous
| Does anyone in the D.C. area NOT get help from their parents? It seems among our friends, all have had both wedding and down payments paid for by their parents. I guess no one can afford to support themselves anymore. |
Anonymous
| Both 23 in 2003. Wedding was about $14k in the midwest. My parents paid for the wedding, DH's mom paid for the rehearsal dinner. DH and I paid for the honeymoon. |
Anonymous
| I was 29, DH 33. We paid for both celebrations -- 20K total. No rehearsal dinner. No guilt. No down payment. |
Anonymous
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DH and I were both 24. My parents paid for my dress, the dj, and the favors (total of probably $2K). My in-laws gave us about $2K. We didn't ask either side. I felt very guilty accepting from my parents because they don't have much, but they insisted. I did not feel guilty accepting from my in laws because they have a lot of money, had a long guest list and list of demands, and have never been overly generous otherwise. DH and I paid for everything else. I think it all came to about $12-14K (including honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, and fairly large reception - 150 people). This was in a much smaller town so prices were less prohibitive than in DC.
Neither set of parents helped us with the downpayment on our house. |
Anonymous
I'm a PP whose parents paid about 60% of the wedding cost (not including rehearsal dinner or honeymoon). I guess it depends on how you view weddings, in part. In my case, my parents viewed it as an event THEY were hosting - traditional engraved invitation - Mr. and Mrs. So and So request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, blah blah. So of course my parents helped. Since I was not getting married where they live, I am not even sure they realize they didn't pay for the whole thing. I made the plans, I wrote the checks, and my dad sent me money when I asked (and I didn't ask him to send me more than the budget he told me). We did not get married in DC, but I don't think my parents would have had any different view depending on where I lived. They did not help us with the downpayment for a house. DH and I are both professionals. I've always had a decent income starting about 18 months before we got married and more than a year before we bought our first house. He was a saver and had the downpayment; I had the income to make the loan officer happy. I think my FIL may have lent us about $1500 when we moved to DC, which we promptly paid back, with interest. Our parents both paid for college (except about $3,000 in loans I had), I paid for all of grad school, and my DH's family paid for about half of his grad school. They wanted to pay it all but he refused. Except for the occcassional hand me down piece of furniture and the occassional just had a windfall and wanted share check (very modest) we have gotten over the years from my in-laws, we haven't had any help. I'm not sure it's true that parents who help with weddings also help with downpayments, and I know it isn't true that self-made people never have their parents host their weddings. My nanny makes more than my dad did before he retired, if that gives you an idea. Some parents feel strongly about weddings and that it is their responsibility to host. Some don't. Mine did. I don't know what would have happened if I said, "Dad, we don't really think you can afford to pay and don't want the help," but I can tell you it would have ripped a hole in his heart. |
Anonymous
| 24 and 27. We paid 20k no help. We already owned a house that we paid for ourselves. We are mush better off than our parents. We both work FT, bur our moms were both career SAHMs so neiher of our parents ever had much disposable income for weddings or downpayment gifts. |
Anonymous
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We were 30 and 28.
DH's parents hosted (paid for) rehersal dinner at country club with cocktail hour and sit down dinner. Also hosted an engagement party at their home. My parents paid for entire wedding. I dont actually know the exact amount but think was somewhere around $40-50,000. If I recall we had approx. 250-300 guests which included family and friends of all parties (parents, DH, and me). My parents have lots of life long friends who came. We did not extend "and guests" invitations to single friends but did include any significant others even if we did not know them (e.g., college friends living in other cities who were in serious realtionships, cousins in serious relationships). Our wedding was fairly typical for our social group/college friends but maybe a bit less extravagent. I know that sounds a little crazy to some. My dad did offer us the same amount for a down payment instead. Certainly my parents are very comfortable financially. DH paid for honeymoon to Hawaii. I knew at the time what it costs but dont remember (it was almost 12 years ago). |