Marriage as social mobility for women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Every single woman I know married an equal, give or take.

Years later, some of the guys’ careers skyrocketed while their wives stuck to family-friendly work arrangements, but they started out on the same footing.

This. I only know one couple and it was actually the man who “married well” by marrying an unattractive woman with rich parents. All the parents were college graduates as well as the couple. They both went on to get graduate degrees and make their own wealth but her parents paid for her education, lavish wedding and honeymoon, got him a billionaire client, covered house downpayments and furniture, and showered their household with generous gifts throughout their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds like your friend group is pretty low value, if they all had room to marry up. My friends are all ppl I met in college, law school, competitive jobs, etc so they pretty much all married their peers or married down (on wealth and “social class”) since they couldn’t go up too much.

It’s cruel to call someone “low value” because they didn’t attend law school, like you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How weird. Most women I know married down or are single. Most women I know are bright well-educated women with good careers and good income. They end up with guys who aren't hard workers or expect them to take on the nearly full load of parenting.

I don't know any women who looks at marrying as a form of social climbing - men are unreliable: as much as his social status/income can help a women rise, when the man divorces or behaves badly the woman is stuck in a very bad position. Bo one wants to rely on a man. Better to rely on oneself.

Is this cultural?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tend to think that women using marriage for social mobility is an archaic trope reserved for Jane Austen novels but a quick observation of the social landscape today would prove advantageous marriages are still the norm.

Every single woman I know married “ up.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

I’m curious how likely it is for most women to move up socially through education and career alone.

no woman I know married up. They all married peers. OP, this sounds like you have a kinda gross peer group.

[Anonymous]

If every single woman you know married up then you are running in trashy circles

[Anonymous]

It's not mathematically possible for all the women to marry up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tend to think that women using marriage for social mobility is an archaic trope reserved for Jane Austen novels but a quick observation of the social landscape today would prove advantageous marriages are still the norm.

Every single woman I know married “ up.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

I’m curious how likely it is for most women to move up socially through education and career alone.

Those women aren't single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If every single woman you know married up then you are running in trashy circles

How dare those trollops not choose richer parents to be born to!

[Anonymous]

Weird. Everyone I know married an equal. I can’t think of anyone who partnered dramatically up or down.

[Anonymous]

I belong to a local country club where a former president belongs. Most of the women there have married up—they are marginally employed if employed at all, but their husbands make big bucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tend to think that women using marriage for social mobility is an archaic trope reserved for Jane Austen novels but a quick observation of the social landscape today would prove advantageous marriages are still the norm.

Every single woman I know married “ up.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

I’m curious how likely it is for most women to move up socially through education and career alone.

Do you have any hobbies other than posting misogynistic trash on DCUM?

We see you

[Anonymous]

Well my DD was raised UMC by most DCUM standards, HHI top 3 to 5 percent. She went to private high school and now college with some students who are the top 1 percent. So for her to marry up, she would need to marry someone outright Rich. I have no opinion on the money matter bc i know she will be fine anyway that her life unfolds, but you’re posting on DCUM OP and for many on this board, marrying up wouldn’t be marrying into a family or to a partner with HHI north of 1M+.

[Anonymous]

Most younger affair partners of wealthy men are attempting to marry for social mobility/financial security- with varying results as the men are already married.

[Anonymous]

I actually can’t think of any friends who married “up” in a dramatic way. I do have friends who make less than husbands due to field of work/hob titles etc. I wouldn’t, though, describe my doctor friend as having “married up” because she is married to a surgeon who makes more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Every single woman I know married an equal, give or take.

Years later, some of the guys’ careers skyrocketed while their wives stuck to family-friendly work arrangements, but they started out on the same footing.

+1.

Also, did Austen’s heroines marry up for *social* reasons? I’m pretty sure it was out of economic necessity, but also love too sometimes.