Do you think it's poor form to date someone while not yet divorced, but separated?

[Anonymous]

Yes. But I find I; 'm in the minority. Seems most -people can't function 2 minutes without being in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

No, I think it really depends.

Each situation is different. I know several people who met their now spouses while one of them was separated but not yet divorced.

Like everything else in life this depends on the integrity and maturity of the individuals involved. You can’t generalize.

A single person could have emotional issues or be lying also.

[Anonymous]

Yes, and your lawyer will also advise you it’s a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I think it really depends.

Each situation is different. I know several people who met their now spouses while one of them was separated but not yet divorced.

Like everything else in life this depends on the integrity and maturity of the individuals involved. You can’t generalize.

A single person could have emotional issues or be lying also.

A single person could. But there is a lot less to hide. The few times I took a chance on dating someone separated (when I was still single), it was always a waste of time. Sorry to generalize, but men seem especially incapable of being single and think they want to move on right away. However, there www always some emotional baggage or financial entanglement or “delay” on the divorce. Always some excuse. And I experienced SO many lies from multiple separated men. It was wild.

I also found that people weren’t upfront about whether they were actually divorced. Even when asked directly. You can ask all the right questions, and still get burned. Just don’t do it, IME.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I mean, men need their balls drained on a regular basis so this is kind of necessary.

[Anonymous]

First, there is a chance of reconciliation until divorce papers are signed, second a cooling period is necessary to avoid rebound mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Yes, did it once, will never, ever do it again.

[Anonymous]

Very poor form. Tell the guy you'll date him only after the papers are signed.

[Anonymous]

Separated a few months yes poor form.

Separate more than a year, it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

It is poor form in any case. Absolutely a bad idea if there are children who are old enough to be aware of what you are doing as far as being a role model. At least learn to complete the aspects on one relationship before starting in on another.

[Anonymous]

Separated for three months? Or separated for 3 years because untangling finances is difficult? It depends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I think it really depends.

Each situation is different. I know several people who met their now spouses while one of them was separated but not yet divorced.

Like everything else in life this depends on the integrity and maturity of the individuals involved. You can’t generalize.

A single person could have emotional issues or be lying also.

Absolutely this. I started dating what I was still separated, but we already had our divorce agreement signed and had probably been separated close to a year at that point

[Anonymous]

I am dating and not yet legally divorced. We have been legally separated for almost a year and things were rocky before that. Divorce can take a while if you have been married for a while and have kids, shared assets.

[Anonymous]

Married people will say yes it's poor form.

Anyone who's gone through divorce will say it's ok, as long as you've processed the divorce and taken care of the logistics. Because the legal side of things can take a long time. The emotional side of things can also take a long time, and ideally someone has processed the end of their marriage. But divorced people know sometimes the processing happens *during* the marriage which is the cause of the divorce in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's tacky AF. Separated people should go to therapy, not join dating apps.

I'm separated. Have been for 2.5 years now. Still working out the logistics of divorce. We have young kids and a lot of assets. I was in therapy during the marriage (which led to the decision to divorce) and have continued.