What is this behavior? Will it go away normally?

[Anonymous]

OP, move this to special needs and get on the waitlist for a developmental pediatrician. It can take months and you can always cancel if things improve. In our experience regular pediatricians aren’t the best resource for behavioral concerns. Also contact your county service.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like my kid who wasn’t diagnosed with autism until age 10. Good for you for being on top of it! Disregard people who say it’s “late.” There are people who don’t figure this out about themselves until adulthood! Good for you for knowing your child well and advocating for them! That will take you far. This is your official pat on the back. You’re doing great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my kid who wasn’t diagnosed with autism until age 10. Good for you for being on top of it! Disregard people who say it’s “late.” There are people who don’t figure this out about themselves until adulthood! Good for you for knowing your child well and advocating for them! That will take you far. This is your official pat on the back. You’re doing great.

+1 kudos to OP for being on top of this. If the pediatrician says "wait and see" do what you can to pursue evaluation anyway. Also, Child Find may say your child is "fine" - do not rely on them.

Some recs we got for autism evals were:
- Dr Mostow at KKI, takes insurance
- Dr. Lisa Martin
- Dr. Lisa Lenhart
- Dr. Salya Namazi (Stixrud)
- Dr. Rochelle Drill (CAAT)

[Anonymous]

It could also be anxiety or some other issue. The more you meet your child’s dysregulation with your calm the more the situation will diffuse and your child will better learn to regulate/cope. Early intervention is important but it seems like at a young age an incorrect diagnosis could be made. ADHD is more accurate if the diagnosis is around 7 or 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my kid who wasn’t diagnosed with autism until age 10. Good for you for being on top of it! Disregard people who say it’s “late.” There are people who don’t figure this out about themselves until adulthood! Good for you for knowing your child well and advocating for them! That will take you far. This is your official pat on the back. You’re doing great.

The discussion about being late wasn’t a criticism. I took it as a discussion about how early a diagnosis can be made. I don’t think anyone here disagrees with you about OP being a good advocate for her child!

[Anonymous]

Dicipline

[Anonymous]

Sounds like autism just based on what you pointed out. Could also be adhd or anxiety or something like that, but the sensitivity comments are more likely in autism.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my kid with anxiety and ADHD and maybe more. We don’t have the sensitivity to noise or light though. I think if the preschool is letting you know it’s an issue and you are struggling at home it’s good to take it seriously. Good luck

[Anonymous]

My middle kid was like this from 2-5ish but at 6.5 has grown out of it. Sometimes it really is just a kid thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, let me start by saying we will be discussing with our pediatrician (again) and trying to line up some classroom observation from professionals. We provide normal discipline, have a set schedule, and enforce rules. Ok, caveat over.

My kid is 4.5 and has temper outbursts DAILY multiple times a day. Kid is considered by teachers to be an outlier in behavior responses at school and definitely disruptive.

- unable to cope with not getting their way or something unexpected happening; seems a bit rigid in expected flow / schedule
- uses a loud voice and screaming to express frustration
- sensitive to noise (knows to cover ears). Recently started complaining about bright lights? I really don’t know what that’s about.
- can also be incredibly kind, caring, empathetic and apologizes following outbursts
- does not respond immediately to questions. I have to prompt a lot to get a response. Otherwise, talkative, vocal, learning to read, very curious about things and engaged in learning.
- can be an anxious kid
- bff with younger sibling

I’m concerned bc it’s impacting relationship with teachers, friends, and even myself/spouse. I worry we’re not setting kid up for success with these personality challenges.

Anyone been there done that? Normal? ADD? Spectrum? Will kid grow out of this?

This list is my niece with autism to a T and I would get an evaluation if I were in your shoes. I would ask with the sibling thing if they have peers who they are best friends with/have meaningful friendships and regular play dates with peers? A younger sibling that can be bossed around and will comply with their demands may look like a bff but if you compare that to play with peers at school it will look very different. My kids are 7,5, and 2. My 5 year old and 2 year old play well together but at 4 and 16-25 months they were especially great because my youngest would do whatever my 4 year old wanted. They were and were good friends but as your younger child gets older and asserts herself more the rigidity that your older child is showing is going to be hard on the younger child. Good multi-year friendships with peers at 3,4, and definitely by 5 is what you should be looking at socially. My 7, 5, and 2 year old started identifying good friends at before/at 2 and the older kids are still friends with these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my kid with anxiety and ADHD and maybe more. We don’t have the sensitivity to noise or light though. I think if the preschool is letting you know it’s an issue and you are struggling at home it’s good to take it seriously. Good luck

+1. Are they going to be in PK or K next year? Will the school let you do observations at school?

[Anonymous]

I agree with others, definitely possible it is ASD. Has some similarities to my son who was diagnosed with adhd at 5 but he didn’t have the sound and lights, things like that that tend to be more linked with autism. It could also be neither of these things! But taking next steps for evaluation is a good idea. I learned at least in our case when the teachers are saying the behavior is outside the norm they know what they’re talking about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not normal. Won't resolve on its own.

You have absolutely no way of knowing that. And many of us have had our children grow out of these very behaviors.

DP. I took what the PP wrote to mean that these behaviors together (not each one individually) indicate that this is more than a child going through a challenging phase that will resolve. The behavior is impacting social relationships with teachers, peers, and parents. Children are diagnosed at different ages. OP's child is on the cusp of going to elementary school where they will have different expectations and the way that OP's child is acting will definitely impact their ability to learn and get along (it sounds like it is impacting both in a more nurturing preschool setting right now). OP's child may need supports at school, even if they are interested and engaged in learning, because it sounds like they have difficulty with transitions, general self-regulation, sensory inputs, and social interactions.