What is this behavior? Will it go away normally?

[Anonymous]

First, let me start by saying we will be discussing with our pediatrician (again) and trying to line up some classroom observation from professionals. We provide normal discipline, have a set schedule, and enforce rules. Ok, caveat over.

My kid is 4.5 and has temper outbursts DAILY multiple times a day. Kid is considered by teachers to be an outlier in behavior responses at school and definitely disruptive.

- unable to cope with not getting their way or something unexpected happening; seems a bit rigid in expected flow / schedule
- uses a loud voice and screaming to express frustration
- sensitive to noise (knows to cover ears). Recently started complaining about bright lights? I really don’t know what that’s about.
- can also be incredibly kind, caring, empathetic and apologizes following outbursts
- does not respond immediately to questions. I have to prompt a lot to get a response. Otherwise, talkative, vocal, learning to read, very curious about things and engaged in learning.
- can be an anxious kid
- bff with younger sibling

I’m concerned bc it’s impacting relationship with teachers, friends, and even myself/spouse. I worry we’re not setting kid up for success with these personality challenges.

Anyone been there done that? Normal? ADD? Spectrum? Will kid grow out of this?

[Anonymous]

At 4.5, not normal. You need a hearing test and a comprehensive evaluation. Post in the SN forum your location and whether you can afford to pay out of pocket or need insurance coverage, and you'll get lots of recommendations.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like one of my kids. Not responding to questions along with emotional disregulation could be ADHD. He may not be responding to questions because he is inattentive, hyperfocused on something else and/or unable to shift focus to the person speaking.

I would definitely look toward getting an evaluation. Your child is a bit young, but definitely time to bring it up to with ped and figure out what the next steps would be depending on your insurance (they may have a preferred provider for the eval) and get an idea about a timeline for moving forward with the eval.

[Anonymous]

I’d start with a hearing /vision test, developmental pediatrician, developmental assessment including an ADOS and a VB-MAPP. You might also want a neurological assessment and allergy testing to rule out medical causes for light/sound sensitivities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like one of my kids. Not responding to questions along with emotional disregulation could be ADHD. He may not be responding to questions because he is inattentive, hyperfocused on something else and/or unable to shift focus to the person speaking.

I would definitely look toward getting an evaluation. Your child is a bit young, but definitely time to bring it up to with ped and figure out what the next steps would be depending on your insurance (they may have a preferred provider for the eval) and get an idea about a timeline for moving forward with the eval.

4 1/2 is on the older side for an initial assessment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like one of my kids. Not responding to questions along with emotional disregulation could be ADHD. He may not be responding to questions because he is inattentive, hyperfocused on something else and/or unable to shift focus to the person speaking.

I would definitely look toward getting an evaluation. Your child is a bit young, but definitely time to bring it up to with ped and figure out what the next steps would be depending on your insurance (they may have a preferred provider for the eval) and get an idea about a timeline for moving forward with the eval.

4 1/2 is on the older side for an initial assessment.

What does that mean? Initial assessment just means first -- the right time for an initial assessment is when parents develop concerns. It's not like if you get to a certain age it's too late!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like one of my kids. Not responding to questions along with emotional disregulation could be ADHD. He may not be responding to questions because he is inattentive, hyperfocused on something else and/or unable to shift focus to the person speaking.

I would definitely look toward getting an evaluation. Your child is a bit young, but definitely time to bring it up to with ped and figure out what the next steps would be depending on your insurance (they may have a preferred provider for the eval) and get an idea about a timeline for moving forward with the eval.

4 1/2 is on the older side for an initial assessment.

On the older side?

For ASD, probably. For ADHD, my understanding is that ADHD isn't usually diagnosed until a child is older. Maybe 4.5 is fine---I'm not a neuropysch or ped---just a parent with a child who has ADHD. But between my own experience and lurking on the SN board here, it seems fairly common for others to receive a diagnosis in early to mid-elementary school, not as a toddler or preschooler.

[Anonymous]

This is like my child with autism. Sensitivity to light and sound, slow processing when asked a question, low frustration tolerance, upset/anxious by schedule changes or changes in routine.

All the good stuff (curiosity etc) is similar too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is like my child with autism. Sensitivity to light and sound, slow processing when asked a question, low frustration tolerance, upset/anxious by schedule changes or changes in routine.

All the good stuff (curiosity etc) is similar too.

And no, he hasn’t grown out of autism but coping skills and resilience do increase.

[Anonymous]

Nope, not normal. Won't resolve on its own.

[Anonymous]

There are so many things it could be. I’d definitely seek an assessment. I agree to post on the SN board. Assessments can be pricey and not covered by insurance. People on that
Board have lots of experience and you will likely benefit from that. (I’m a SN parent but my kids are older so my information is dated).

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a more dramatic version of one of my kids, who has generally managed to skip these behaviors at school but has them at home. It has gotten much much better as the kid has grown and emotional regulation has improved.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you everyone! I really appreciate everyone’s thoughts. Extremely helpful for confirmation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not normal. Won't resolve on its own.

You have absolutely no way of knowing that. And many of us have had our children grow out of these very behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is like my child with autism. Sensitivity to light and sound, slow processing when asked a question, low frustration tolerance, upset/anxious by schedule changes or changes in routine.

All the good stuff (curiosity etc) is similar too.

And no, he hasn’t grown out of autism but coping skills and resilience do increase.

Same with mine. Every year there is an improvement in emotional regulation and more willingness to "go along to get along." Might never be on par with peers, but we see the growth.