How to be a good girlfriend in a relationship?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My advice is to learn what your partner likes. What is their love language? Try and give love in those ways.

My BF says I’m the best GF he’s had. I love him a lot, and always try to show it. I do things to make his life easier. Cook his favorite food when he’s had a bad day, run errands for him if he’s overwhelmed, offer a listening ear, happy to be an activity partner in his interests. I never say no to his physical advances and let him know he is a priority to me.

He treats me the same.


Being a good partner doesn’t mean removing your agency around sex, and this is a weird thing to include in a list of partnership qualities. A physical relationship is very important. That means being communicative, not subservient.


I do not remove my agency around sex. I CHOOSE to not turn down his advances, and that includes more than sex. For instance, I don’t shut down kisses if we are having a disagreement. The fact that we are both generous with affection and take pleasing each other seriously has been great.


Choosing to remove your own choice is exactly that. Whether you’re discussing sex or affection during a disagreement. That’s entirely separate from being generous with affection. Since this OP is clearly a young person seeking guidance, establishing the difference between a healthy physical relationship that includes generosity and carte blanche for physicality of any kind seems important, no?


I guarantee you PP is single.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My advice is to learn what your partner likes. What is their love language? Try and give love in those ways.

My BF says I’m the best GF he’s had. I love him a lot, and always try to show it. I do things to make his life easier. Cook his favorite food when he’s had a bad day, run errands for him if he’s overwhelmed, offer a listening ear, happy to be an activity partner in his interests. I never say no to his physical advances and let him know he is a priority to me.

He treats me the same.


Being a good partner doesn’t mean removing your agency around sex, and this is a weird thing to include in a list of partnership qualities. A physical relationship is very important. That means being communicative, not subservient.


I do not remove my agency around sex. I CHOOSE to not turn down his advances, and that includes more than sex. For instance, I don’t shut down kisses if we are having a disagreement. The fact that we are both generous with affection and take pleasing each other seriously has been great.


Choosing to remove your own choice is exactly that. Whether you’re discussing sex or affection during a disagreement. That’s entirely separate from being generous with affection. Since this OP is clearly a young person seeking guidance, establishing the difference between a healthy physical relationship that includes generosity and carte blanche for physicality of any kind seems important, no?


I guarantee you PP is single.


Which PP?
Anonymous
Basics. Be kind, honest, empathetic. Pay your portion of money and chores.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hello,
I haven’t been in a relationship in a while, I’m looking for advice on how to be in a healthy relationship and what are actions your gf/wife took that made you go long term.

I just entered a relationship after months of dating and it feels great. Just want to do my best.


As long as you don't expect me to read your mind if anything bothers you and if you communicate with me right away about things you are unhappy about I will do anything's by for you. Just don't hold things and drop them on me a few months later to the point I can't even recall that particular incident. It's a low bar.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My advice is to learn what your partner likes. What is their love language? Try and give love in those ways.

My BF says I’m the best GF he’s had. I love him a lot, and always try to show it. I do things to make his life easier. Cook his favorite food when he’s had a bad day, run errands for him if he’s overwhelmed, offer a listening ear, happy to be an activity partner in his interests. I never say no to his physical advances and let him know he is a priority to me.

He treats me the same.


You never say no? Even if you are sick? That's not a good relationship. You should be able to say no.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hello,
I haven’t been in a relationship in a while, I’m looking for advice on how to be in a healthy relationship and what are actions your gf/wife took that made you go long term.

I just entered a relationship after months of dating and it feels great. Just want to do my best.


As long as you don't expect me to read your mind if anything bothers you and if you communicate with me right away about things you are unhappy about I will do anything's by for you. Just don't hold things and drop them on me a few months later to the point I can't even recall that particular incident. It's a low bar.


To the pp
Are you a partner that actually wants to know what is wrong? Most guys don't really abd when women are direct thsn they complain about that too.

I'm not encouraging my girls to be the ' best' girlfriend because most guys aren't amywhere close to be as good as the 'worst' girlfriend.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My advice is to learn what your partner likes. What is their love language? Try and give love in those ways.

My BF says I’m the best GF he’s had. I love him a lot, and always try to show it. I do things to make his life easier. Cook his favorite food when he’s had a bad day, run errands for him if he’s overwhelmed, offer a listening ear, happy to be an activity partner in his interests. I never say no to his physical advances and let him know he is a priority to me.

He treats me the same.

This! This! This! You are a diamond.
I wish more women followed your advice. You are the best!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hello,
I haven’t been in a relationship in a while, I’m looking for advice on how to be in a healthy relationship and what are actions your gf/wife took that made you go long term.

I just entered a relationship after months of dating and it feels great. Just want to do my best.


Actually make yourself available to spend time with your man instead of coming up with lame excuses like spending every waking moment of your day with your family. Big red flag: When your date of either sex lives in the same half mile radius as their parents.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My advice is to learn what your partner likes. What is their love language? Try and give love in those ways.

My BF says I’m the best GF he’s had. I love him a lot, and always try to show it. I do things to make his life easier. Cook his favorite food when he’s had a bad day, run errands for him if he’s overwhelmed, offer a listening ear, happy to be an activity partner in his interests. I never say no to his physical advances and let him know he is a priority to me.

He treats me the same.

This! This! This! You are a diamond.
I wish more women followed your advice. You are the best!


I’m the woman who posted this and I’d like to add that I am able to treat my boyfriend this way because he treats me similarly. We are a 100/100 relationship and it’s beautiful.

With respect to never turning down affection there is one exception and that’s when I’m sick. But it hasn’t happened yet because my boyfriend is in tune with me, and therefore knows when I’m not feeling well and wouldn’t ask for sex during those times. But if he did and I was too ill to enjoy sex, i’d let him know I’m not up for it with no problem.
Anonymous
Don’t be a nag
Anonymous
Be happy
Be grateful
Tell him how fabulous you think he i
Be sexual and enjoy it
If you’re also a good cook that’s even better
Anonymous
Also, don’t be unit for the mobey
Anonymous
Don’t be needy for his time and just go with the flow. Don’t expect him to abandon his friends and hobbies just to be with you. Also, don’t be a doormat for him, assume that you are at least his equal. Finally, initiate sex and be a very energetic and imaginative partner.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hello,
I haven’t been in a relationship in a while, I’m looking for advice on how to be in a healthy relationship and what are actions your gf/wife took that made you go long term.

I just entered a relationship after months of dating and it feels great. Just want to do my best.


Best bet is a therapist. If you didn't come to the answers during your hiatus, issues still are there (not saying they are bad issues). But you are online asking how to keep a boyfriend.
Anonymous
My now wife did a couple of things early on in our relationship that really impressed me. First, after a long and miserable business trip she surprised me by showing up at the airport 90 minutes away to drive me home and take me to dinner. Second, I had badly hurt my back and was basically immobile for 4-5 days. We weren’t living together but without me asking for help she showed up every morning and evening to get me going, make breakfast, then later dinner and help with the therapy I needed. These acts of kindness told me this was someone very special. Many years later she hasn’t changed. So, show concern and kindness!
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