Vent: husband half-a**es everything

[Anonymous]

I would ask you to test the toaster in the tub.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You are being mean, OP. He was probably really proud of himself for doing something new, and instead of being proud of him, you told him he did it wrong.

You wouldn’t do this with your kids. If your child made you pancakes, you would eat them and say how delicious they were. You wouldn’t be like, “oh, this is slightly undercooked,” and give it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weaponized incompetence.

I feel like weaponized incompetence is pretending to be unable to do things that everyone can do, like folding laundry or loading the dishwasher.
I don’t think it’s attempting to do a specialized task and accomplishing it slightly imperfectly.

[Anonymous]

Next time don’t be cheap

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like he's half-a$$ing it. It sounds like he doesn't know enough about electrical work to do something like this. I would just call the electrician and drop the narrative -- at least in this case.

[Anonymous]

If this is the one example you choose to provide, team DH. He did it, just not the exact way you wanted it done. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

I guess he gives you a half a$$ orgasm too…

[Anonymous]

I don't ask my dh to do things he can't. He was probably embarrassed he bought the wrong switch. What do you want me to do means I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weaponized incompetence.

It totally is.

I'm so sick of this that I dream about buying a tiny little ranch or Cape Cod and living there all by myself. :O

[Anonymous]

My DH does this often at home too, even down to how he "cuts" food. The kids hardly eat what he makes because there are often huge chunks of onion or whatever he was too lazy to take an extra 30 seconds to cut it properly. It drives me crazy and makes me think he doesn't GAF about anything at home (including us) because I know he isn't like that at work. Even his attempts to initiate are half assed. It's a huge turnoff. Men want respect at home yet they half ass things and often do the "weaponized incompetence" thing PP mentioned. Not gonna work.

[Anonymous]

Weaponized incompetence is messing up easy stuff on purpose. Changing out a three way light switch is hard. Light switches are one of those things that are mostly easy but occasionally something weird happens and you find out you’re not an electrician. I had replaced probably 15 light switches in my life and on the 16th one, I turned off the furnace somehow. When the electrician came to fix it, they said it wasn’t quite not to code it was just unconventional the way it was all wired together. If my DH had given me a hard time about it I would have been pretty ticked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weaponized incompetence.

I feel like weaponized incompetence is pretending to be unable to do things that everyone can do, like folding laundry or loading the dishwasher.
I don’t think it’s attempting to do a specialized task and accomplishing it slightly imperfectly.

It’s pretending to be unable to do something you can do. Lao the question is can OPs husband do it? Lying and saying the witch was always like that doesn’t get things started on the right foot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, other than things he wants to do.

The latest is a light switch in the hallway. There are two switches in that hallway and when he replaced the one switch he made it so the opposite switch has to be in the off position to turn the light on. When I nicely said that this had happened he first told me that it had "always been like that" and when I said no, it had not been like that for the last 10 years he got huffy and asked what I wanted him to do. When I suggested he fix it he then got nasty and said, "Your Father's Day gift to me can be to pay an electrician!"

When people wonder why divorced women are happiest of all it's probably stuff like this. Just like everything else, I get to clean up on Aisle 7 while he seethes that I'm showing him up/mean.

Divorced women are happiest?
Why are you still married? Ask for a divorce now.
Your husband deserves a better wife.

[Anonymous]

Same, OP same. They think we can't see right through it! It insults my intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you fix it

He offered and in fact told me about every.single.part of the project because this is what he does with anything he does around the house. He wants massive credit for anytime he lifts a finger.

But I will get my chance to fix it now!