Single in Early 30s

[Anonymous]

Plenty of women die alone because they gave up on their relationships for dumb reasons in their 30's. They struggle to find another relationship because their looks, health, and mental health fade.

[Anonymous]

Why are the only two options to be in an unhappy relationship or single? That’s cope. And sour grapes that makes you sound bitter even if you aren’t. Being in a happy relationship is a real thing you know!

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on where you are too. I grew up in the south and all my friends from high school are married with kids I am 33. I live in San Francisco and far few people my age are married or have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are the only two options to be in an unhappy relationship or single? That’s cope. And sour grapes that makes you sound bitter even if you aren’t. Being in a happy relationship is a real thing you know!

That's literally not what sour grapes means but okay.

[Anonymous]

I broke up a very long term relationship after finally realizing having kids with him would not be a good idea, when I was 31. I knew I wanted a family so I started dating and took it as seriously as a job; I went on 2-3 new dates per week and went on over 100 first dates: 10-15 of those turned into second dates (which are real first dates since the first time you meet someone, it’s really just that, a meeting). I had three relationships, one short but fun, one 5 months with someone who hadn’t healed from their own issues, and the third is my DH—met when I was 32, married at 34, going strong after 10+ years and two kids.

Read this, it will be helpful:
http://bookoutlines.pbworks.com/w/page/14422733/Why%20Men%20Marry%20Some%20Women%20And%20Not%20Others

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I broke up a very long term relationship after finally realizing having kids with him would not be a good idea, when I was 31. I knew I wanted a family so I started dating and took it as seriously as a job; I went on 2-3 new dates per week and went on over 100 first dates: 10-15 of those turned into second dates (which are real first dates since the first time you meet someone, it’s really just that, a meeting). I had three relationships, one short but fun, one 5 months with someone who hadn’t healed from their own issues, and the third is my DH—met when I was 32, married at 34, going strong after 10+ years and two kids.

Read this, it will be helpful:
http://bookoutlines.pbworks.com/w/page/14422733/Why%20Men%20Marry%20Some%20Women%20And%20Not%20Others

Good luck!

OP here. Thanks. That was a helpful read. I actually don't have a problem attracting men, although last time I was single was about a year ago. I usually get lots of dates within a couple days of being on the apps and men ask to be exclusive within a few dates. I am successful in that regard. The only thing I worry about is that has to dry up eventually and I'm worried that it will be now lol. But I figure last time I was single I was 30 so there can't be that much of a difference between 30 and 31, right? If anything I lost some weight this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I broke up a very long term relationship after finally realizing having kids with him would not be a good idea, when I was 31. I knew I wanted a family so I started dating and took it as seriously as a job; I went on 2-3 new dates per week and went on over 100 first dates: 10-15 of those turned into second dates (which are real first dates since the first time you meet someone, it’s really just that, a meeting). I had three relationships, one short but fun, one 5 months with someone who hadn’t healed from their own issues, and the third is my DH—met when I was 32, married at 34, going strong after 10+ years and two kids.

Read this, it will be helpful:
http://bookoutlines.pbworks.com/w/page/14422733/Why%20Men%20Marry%20Some%20Women%20And%20Not%20Others

Good luck!

OP here. Thanks. That was a helpful read. I actually don't have a problem attracting men, although last time I was single was about a year ago. I usually get lots of dates within a couple days of being on the apps and men ask to be exclusive within a few dates. I am successful in that regard. The only thing I worry about is that has to dry up eventually and I'm worried that it will be now lol. But I figure last time I was single I was 30 so there can't be that much of a difference between 30 and 31, right? If anything I lost some weight this year.

Wow, really you have good dates? Just this comment will be a turn off for me. AH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I broke up a very long term relationship after finally realizing having kids with him would not be a good idea, when I was 31. I knew I wanted a family so I started dating and took it as seriously as a job; I went on 2-3 new dates per week and went on over 100 first dates: 10-15 of those turned into second dates (which are real first dates since the first time you meet someone, it’s really just that, a meeting). I had three relationships, one short but fun, one 5 months with someone who hadn’t healed from their own issues, and the third is my DH—met when I was 32, married at 34, going strong after 10+ years and two kids.

Read this, it will be helpful:
http://bookoutlines.pbworks.com/w/page/14422733/Why%20Men%20Marry%20Some%20Women%20And%20Not%20Others

Good luck!

OP here. Thanks. That was a helpful read. I actually don't have a problem attracting men, although last time I was single was about a year ago. I usually get lots of dates within a couple days of being on the apps and men ask to be exclusive within a few dates. I am successful in that regard. The only thing I worry about is that has to dry up eventually and I'm worried that it will be now lol. But I figure last time I was single I was 30 so there can't be that much of a difference between 30 and 31, right? If anything I lost some weight this year.

Ignore 11:49.

I also had no issues getting and keeping dates but you want to find a needle in the haystack. Do not compromise on the important things (kindness, sanity, executive function, true love/someone crazy about you, and good intimacy). In order to find a match with whom you can build a long and successful life, you will have to kiss (or at least get coffee with) a lot of frogs, but every pot has a lid and your guy is out there.

31 is nothing! You are young and beautiful. I’m 45 now and still feel and look great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I broke up a very long term relationship after finally realizing having kids with him would not be a good idea, when I was 31. I knew I wanted a family so I started dating and took it as seriously as a job; I went on 2-3 new dates per week and went on over 100 first dates: 10-15 of those turned into second dates (which are real first dates since the first time you meet someone, it’s really just that, a meeting). I had three relationships, one short but fun, one 5 months with someone who hadn’t healed from their own issues, and the third is my DH—met when I was 32, married at 34, going strong after 10+ years and two kids.

Read this, it will be helpful:
http://bookoutlines.pbworks.com/w/page/14422733/Why%20Men%20Marry%20Some%20Women%20And%20Not%20Others

Good luck!

OP here. Thanks. That was a helpful read. I actually don't have a problem attracting men, although last time I was single was about a year ago. I usually get lots of dates within a couple days of being on the apps and men ask to be exclusive within a few dates. I am successful in that regard. The only thing I worry about is that has to dry up eventually and I'm worried that it will be now lol. But I figure last time I was single I was 30 so there can't be that much of a difference between 30 and 31, right? If anything I lost some weight this year.

Wow, really you have good dates? Just this comment will be a turn off for me. AH.

So you’re either a short man or an ugly woman if a woman saying she’s successful at dating upsets you this much. Sounds like you should work on being more likeable