Would you be mad/irritated if your spouse did this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your spouse do this often?
Does the couple in question ask him for help often?

If the answer to both questions is no, then no, I woudn't be mad. For someone who doesn't usually ask to reach out for help so late, I would think either it was very important to them or there was some circumstance that made it very important (non-functioning AC on a hot night with a baby in the house).

And it seems clear you two have other issues going on, with feeling like the burden of responsibilities is unequally shared. When that's going on, things that would not otherwise be bothersome are.

Yes, they are total users and always trying to get DH to help with their house stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Went over to his friends’ house at 11PMish at night because something was broken. It was not an emergency situation, just typical deferred maintenance stuff on an old house.

Meanwhile we have a handful of things that need attention in our own house. We handle things as they go, calling contractors and the like of course.

I should add that DH has been super busy with work lately, such that I’ve been doing the brunt of housework, making sure to be around when contractors are coming, etc.

That is weird and like he cares more about impressing them than being reasonable. ie go in the AM.

Is he a people pleaser like that? and for only people who don't like in the house?

[Anonymous]

* live in

ie takes you for granted, but kisses @$$ to everyone else.

ie concerned about his external image and ego.

[Anonymous]

ONLY IF HE FIXES STUFF FOR YOU AND HIS OWN HOUSE AT 11PM PRONTO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:* live in

ie takes you for granted, but kisses @$$ to everyone else.

ie concerned about his external image and ego.

Yes and yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's having a threesome with them. Going over at 11pm is not normal.

More like he and the husband are taking turns with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your spouse do this often?
Does the couple in question ask him for help often?

If the answer to both questions is no, then no, I woudn't be mad. For someone who doesn't usually ask to reach out for help so late, I would think either it was very important to them or there was some circumstance that made it very important (non-functioning AC on a hot night with a baby in the house).

And it seems clear you two have other issues going on, with feeling like the burden of responsibilities is unequally shared. When that's going on, things that would not otherwise be bothersome are.

Yes, they are total users and always trying to get DH to help with their house stuff.

Yes, in that case I would be irritated and likely mad. Frustrated with him giving in to constant users while neglecting things in our own home that could use attention.