"help yourself to food"

[Anonymous]

Tell her you need to clarify to her what you meant by "help yourself to food."

[Anonymous]

Breakfast is a bit much but if she is there at lunch and dinner time, yes you should feed her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be surprised? She's doing as you offered.

I'm not rich, but I'm fine with them eating/drinking whatever is in the kitchen (aside from alcohol) and smoothies.

Help yourself to food doesn’t mean all your three meals at my house and then charge your smoothies to the nanny card.

It doesn’t mean I’m going to feed you regularly.

Help yourself to food means your meals during work time are included in your compensation. Of course that means you feed them regularly.

If she's not there for 3 meals, then yes, that's a little weird, but if she's with your kids for breakfast or lunch or dinner she should eat with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be surprised? She's doing as you offered.

I'm not rich, but I'm fine with them eating/drinking whatever is in the kitchen (aside from alcohol) and smoothies.

Help yourself to food doesn’t mean all your three meals at my house and then charge your smoothies to the nanny card.

It doesn’t mean I’m going to feed you regularly.

Help yourself to food means your meals during work time are included in your compensation. Of course that means you feed them regularly.

If she's not there for 3 meals, then yes, that's a little weird, but if she's with your kids for breakfast or lunch or dinner she should eat with them.

Every nanny i've had has brought their own lunch 95% of the time and eaten after they get off unless they were staying until like 730pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be surprised? She's doing as you offered.

I'm not rich, but I'm fine with them eating/drinking whatever is in the kitchen (aside from alcohol) and smoothies.

Help yourself to food doesn’t mean all your three meals at my house and then charge your smoothies to the nanny card.

It doesn’t mean I’m going to feed you regularly.

Help yourself to food means your meals during work time are included in your compensation. Of course that means you feed them regularly.

If she's not there for 3 meals, then yes, that's a little weird, but if she's with your kids for breakfast or lunch or dinner she should eat with them.

I think clarifying what “help yourself to food” means to OP and the nanny would be helpful because you and I have different interpretations of that.

Op, what did you mean by help yourself to food?

[Anonymous]

We're new to having a nanny but I figured she'd eat the same food as the kids and that's what I offer. They mostly pack sandwiches to eat while they're at the pool or park, so I buy turkey/cheese/bread/peanut butter for them.

I would think it's weird if she's eating some extra like making herself a dinner before she leaves or a breakfast when she arrives (kids eat before her)

[Anonymous]

I think it’s pretty unreasonable to have a bunch of unspoken subtext to whatever you say. Just say what you mean, clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s pretty unreasonable to have a bunch of unspoken subtext to whatever you say. Just say what you mean, clearly.

This. If there are foods that are off limits for her, tell her. And also clarify what is an acceptable charge on the nanny card. $10 smoothies are not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s pretty unreasonable to have a bunch of unspoken subtext to whatever you say. Just say what you mean, clearly.

This. If there are foods that are off limits for her, tell her. And also clarify what is an acceptable charge on the nanny card. $10 smoothies are not cool.

Common sense should tell the nanny that $10 smoothie is not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be surprised? She's doing as you offered.

I'm not rich, but I'm fine with them eating/drinking whatever is in the kitchen (aside from alcohol) and smoothies.

Help yourself to food doesn’t mean all your three meals at my house and then charge your smoothies to the nanny card.

It doesn’t mean I’m going to feed you regularly.

Help yourself to food means your meals during work time are included in your compensation. Of course that means you feed them regularly.

If she's not there for 3 meals, then yes, that's a little weird, but if she's with your kids for breakfast or lunch or dinner she should eat with them.

Every nanny i've had has brought their own lunch 95% of the time and eaten after they get off unless they were staying until like 730pm.

That is too bad for your kids, because kids learn to eat from adults who eat with them, and involve them in food preparation, and model food acceptance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you need to clarify to her what you meant by "help yourself to food."

She meant that she wanted the credit for saying it without the nanny actually taking her up on it. I do agree that in totality the nanny is over the top, but some of this seems petty. Like where the nanny is supposed to know that if she wants breakfast that should mean toast and not the breakfast food OP intended for herself, even though she said help yourself.

[Anonymous]

Be clear about what you mean. She is helping herself to food, as you offered.

If you mean two meals a day and two drinks, say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you need to clarify to her what you meant by "help yourself to food."

This.

First, apologize and take responsibility for not being clear from the beginning what you meant by "Help yourself."

Then tell her exactly what she CAN help herself to, and what she CAN NOT.

You can't expect her to read your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three meals a day is excessive, yes. Drinks, eh. One in the morning and one in the afternoon and sometimes an extra isn't a huge deal.

She is on the clock for the times for all meals. OP, why don't you tell her to stop eating three meals or having smoothies when she takes your children out. You'll be looking for a new nanny. You told her to help herself . Next time allow one meal and no smoothies. Being cheap with your nanny is counterproductive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be turned off by her character and not want someone like that in my house.
She should be offering ways to save you money, not spend your money. What if you run out and have to let her go?
Coffee, smoothies, and canned beverages are not necessities.

Nannies are not bankers, accountants and their only legitimate concern about your finances is that she is paid on time and checks don't bounce.