Did Carrie Bradshaw miss out on babies due to chasing Mr. Big?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people are single women with no kids.

This is misleading.

The happiest Americans are older, religious, women, who believe in God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people are single women with no kids.

This is misleading.

The happiest Americans are older, religious, women, who believe in God.

I would second this notion, I am older, religious and pray to God daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP. Carrie was ambivalent about kids. She worked through it and ended up married to Big with no kids. It works for her.

Some women really want kids and some women really don't. Some women are on the fence and circumstances nudge them one way or the other.

I am in the latter category and I truly do believe that you can see what people value by how they vote with their feet. People who really want kids make choices that will get them kids (barring things like infertility, etc). People who don't may have moments of fantasizing about having a family - may even sometimes want one - but make other choices.

I don't get the sense that having kids was something Carrie was ever very interested in. Her friends started having kids - which would be a normal point to reflect on your own life - and she chose something else.

Moreover, it's a pretty strong misreading of the show to see her as a passive victim of Big. I think.

I think she'd actually have been a good mom - weird but good - if that's what she wanted to do. Who knows maybe if she will end up becoming a good stepmom to adult kids if AJLT goes on long enough. She'd be a great grandmom. (So would I - that's really the part of not having kids that I know I will miss not doing! But I didn't want to go through the rest of it to get there.)

[Anonymous]

I never got the vibe that Carrie wanted kids but did very much get the vibe she wanted a committed relationship with a high status man and all that that entails (socially, financially).

I'm rewatching SATC now and in the middle of season 4. It's interesting to watch as an early 40s mom of teens as opposed to an early 20s student.

My take now is:
- Carrie is suffering from a type of arrested development where she can't escape shallow impulses and isn't emotionally mature or secure enough to be healthy or functional enough for a "real" relationship. I don't sense any desire to be a parent from her. She is pretty insufferable and while she's a good friend, she's also a very flawed and selfish and immature person. Hard to watch.
- Samantha is also tragic, but she is pretty self-assured and confident. I actually could see her as a mother, if she finds the right person (but also recognize she doesn't want that). Unrelatedly I didn't realize until recently Kim Catrall is British-Canadian!
- Charlotte is fairly what you see is what you get: a classic uptight annoying princess, unwilling to accept reality and settle until later in life: we see this all the time. Her trajectory is typical. Eventually, she comes to grips with reality and is able to be content and grow as a person and in a relationship.
- Miranda is an unbelievable exaggeration of a career woman trope: I find her character the least relatable in a way, because in real life I think most women in her position would have acted more authentically rather than shunned Steve or beat up on themselves constantly. But maybe her behavior is explained by the current season(s) with her character being gay, which is why she doesn't quite function typically in heterosexual relationships.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she did.

But babies obviously weren’t her number one priority. So many of us dated big types. At a certain point, we cut our losses and moved on because we wanted a stable loving relationship, marriage and a family.

Carrie also remained single and childless because that was the premise of the show. Nobody would watch “boring marriage and the city.” We got to see that peripherally, through Charlotte and Miranda.

Even the SATC movies had to revolve around drama in carries relationship with big, and ultimately her having time alone with the girls which was kind of annoying, but there you have it. and the current series AJLT, had to kill Big off altogether to give Carrie a premise for dating again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never got the vibe that Carrie wanted kids but did very much get the vibe she wanted a committed relationship with a high status man and all that that entails (socially, financially).

I'm rewatching SATC now and in the middle of season 4. It's interesting to watch as an early 40s mom of teens as opposed to an early 20s student.

My take now is:
- Carrie is suffering from a type of arrested development where she can't escape shallow impulses and isn't emotionally mature or secure enough to be healthy or functional enough for a "real" relationship. I don't sense any desire to be a parent from her. She is pretty insufferable and while she's a good friend, she's also a very flawed and selfish and immature person. Hard to watch.
- Samantha is also tragic, but she is pretty self-assured and confident. I actually could see her as a mother, if she finds the right person (but also recognize she doesn't want that). Unrelatedly I didn't realize until recently Kim Catrall is British-Canadian!
- Charlotte is fairly what you see is what you get: a classic uptight annoying princess, unwilling to accept reality and settle until later in life: we see this all the time. Her trajectory is typical. Eventually, she comes to grips with reality and is able to be content and grow as a person and in a relationship.
- Miranda is an unbelievable exaggeration of a career woman trope: I find her character the least relatable in a way, because in real life I think most women in her position would have acted more authentically rather than shunned Steve or beat up on themselves constantly. But maybe her behavior is explained by the current season(s) with her character being gay, which is why she doesn't quite function typically in heterosexual relationships.

Funny, I’ve been rewatching too. I’m 35 and a mom of two (pregnant with my third.) when I used to watch the show, I was so turned off by samantha, but as an adult, I love her. She is confident, beautiful, funny, smart, successful and is a loyal friend. She is my favorite as an adult. I don’t think samantha is stunted, i think she just enjoys being single. She knows what she want and doesn’t want.

I related most to Carrie in my early twenties, but in my thirties, she’s hard to watch. In fact, it’s hard to imagine why Charlotte or carrie would be single in their mid thirties. What strikes me about the show now is how much it reads like my mid-twenties to me - not my thirties. I wonder what all of them (besides samantha, who is single by choice, and maybe Miranda, who was presumably slaving away as a big law associate) were doing or dating in their twenties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But she never explicitly say she did not want kids. In the episode with Stanford’s grandmother she says she does want a family.

Then she she starts dating Big she tells him it’s important for her to have marriage in her future. She does not mention children but I’d imagine it’s implied.

With the Russian as soon as she sleeps with him she’s thinking…babies. She even asks him if he can reverse his vasectomy.

Babies and marriage was not on her mind with Aiden because she wanted someone wealthy and sophisticated who could open up her world; similar to the Russian and Big. With both of them she begins to think of family.

I think she ran out of time chasing Big and wanted him too much to scare him away with talk of babies.

I think big was the only man who was enough for her without babies. She loved him enough that she could compromise on just about anything else. Other guys, not so much.

[Anonymous]

She was way too selfish for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people are single women with no kids.

This is misleading.

The happiest Americans are older, religious, women, who believe in God.

No, it's unmarried childless women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people are single women with no kids.

This is misleading.

The happiest Americans are older, religious, women, who believe in God.

No, it's unmarried childless women.

DP. According to this study, married women with children are happiest, followed by married women without children, and unmarried women without children are the least happy.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-is-happiest-married-mothers-and-fathers-per-the-latest-general-social-survey#:~:text=The%20GSS%20shows%20that%20a,22%25%20of%20unmarried%20childless%20women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Earlier in the series she looks at Stanford’s grandmothers family photos and muses about having a family of her own. Then she falls in love with Big and he rules out a relationship let alone a family. She spends the next several years of her thirties chasing him and breaking up with Aiden.

At 38 when she meets the Russian she seems a bit sad that children are not on the horizon for him either.

At the end of the series she ends up with Big in her late thirties and when we see her in her 40smon the movies it’s apparent they are child free.

Did Carries lifestyle and choices just let that option be…no more?

Carrie was ambivalent about having children.

PS "Babies" is not the same thing as raising a child.

[Anonymous]

Carrie and Big had enough money to adopt. They didn't want to be be parents, like me.

I loved Carrie. We look alike, we are alike. Finally, a character on tv that I can relate to. Same age, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But she never explicitly say she did not want kids. In the episode with Stanford’s grandmother she says she does want a family.

Then she she starts dating Big she tells him it’s important for her to have marriage in her future. She does not mention children but I’d imagine it’s implied.

With the Russian as soon as she sleeps with him she’s thinking…babies. She even asks him if he can reverse his vasectomy.

Babies and marriage was not on her mind with Aiden because she wanted someone wealthy and sophisticated who could open up her world; similar to the Russian and Big. With both of them she begins to think of family.

I think she ran out of time chasing Big and wanted him too much to scare him away with talk of babies.

I think big was the only man who was enough for her without babies. She loved him enough that she could compromise on just about anything else. Other guys, not so much.

+1 Carrie was ambivalent about having kids. She was so in love with Big that she would gladly forego having kids to build a life with him. She's not like Charlotte, who firmly wanted kids. Not wanting kids wasn't a deal breaker for Carrie.

[Anonymous]

Big reminds me of Trump. Gross. Wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

[Anonymous]

Brunch granny thinks so!!