"it's not that deep"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not get it. He is not late for the essay so who cares when he starts it? If it is late, a bad grade or does not get turned in, set consequences as you see fits but I can not see staying on top of him at the age of 17. You will not always be there to catch these minor falls that are....well, not that deep.

He is the type of kid who tells me everything. So I hear about the essay and pretty much every little thing. He wants to tell me things and have me say nothing. That is what I do 95% of the time: I keep my mouth shut. Sometimes though I feel like he is speaking out of immaturity and is hurting himself/prospects...So say nothing and let him mess up, even if consequences can be big? Like for instance skipping rehearsal tomorrow. He might get a zero if he doesn't go. He has nothing else to do, just doesn't feel like going. So does he really want a C in band Junior year over this stubbornness? I am not sure people are being genuine because this board really does seem very involved in teen decisions, far beyond this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My now 19 yr old used to say that a lot, and it was annoying. We then started using it back on him when he would complain about something. He laughed.

As for getting started with the college process, yes, he should. And yes, it's freakin annoying when they don't realize how important it is. But, you get out of it what you put into it, so if he puts little effort into it, he won't get the high results he might be expecting, that's assuming he is expecting a lot.

But, if he's not expecting a lot for college, like his aim is in state non flagship, then that could be why "it's not that deep" for him.

You can only push them so far. They have to really want it and work for it on their own volition.

I also have an almost junior whom I will be dealing with now for college apps.

Wait what? OP’s son sounds JUST like mine. I could have written the post. But my son is a rising junior, and other than making sure he has a great academic year, what college app stuff are we supposed to be doing junior year?

[Anonymous]

Let it play out.

[Anonymous]

Ground him for a month. When he complains interrupt him and say "It's not that deep" as you stroll out of the room. He's old enough for a taste of his own medicine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:kid is being rude. You controlling duh

Fixed it

[Anonymous]

It’s a nice way of saying “mom you are a nag, I need to own my own sh!t, I want to tell you to shut the f up but I won’t”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a nice way of saying “mom you are a nag, I need to own my own sh!t, I want to tell you to shut the f up but I won’t”

Except he doesn't own his own shit. That's the problem. He LOVES for me to solve his problems while complaining that it's not that deep.

[Anonymous]

"I don't know whether it is that deep or not, but it doesn't matter. I am making clear to you that my expectation is that you will do XYZ while you are living with us."

[Anonymous]

His knowledge of English vocabulary is not that deep.

Dump him in the pool.

[Anonymous]

Just reply with "... and neither is your vocabulary"

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old DS says this occasionally. I ignore it. I suggest ignoring.

[Anonymous]

His word choice wouldn't bother me. However, his actions or INactions would make me crazy. Does he understand school comes first then find a summer job. No summer job = boring summer with 0 money from me. And, because I can't resist, it isn't that deep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now 19 yr old used to say that a lot, and it was annoying. We then started using it back on him when he would complain about something. He laughed.

As for getting started with the college process, yes, he should. And yes, it's freakin annoying when they don't realize how important it is. But, you get out of it what you put into it, so if he puts little effort into it, he won't get the high results he might be expecting, that's assuming he is expecting a lot.

But, if he's not expecting a lot for college, like his aim is in state non flagship, then that could be why "it's not that deep" for him.

You can only push them so far. They have to really want it and work for it on their own volition.

I also have an almost junior whom I will be dealing with now for college apps.

Wait what? OP’s son sounds JUST like mine. I could have written the post. But my son is a rising junior, and other than making sure he has a great academic year, what college app stuff are we supposed to be doing junior year?

OP stated, "as we approach the college process".

Junior year, you want to start narrowing down college choices by taking a look at what they offer, cost, location, requirements, etc.. do college visits.

When it's time to apply senior year, you want all of this already nailed down such that you just start filling in the applications. Now a days, a lot of the desirable colleges fill half their class during ED and EA, so you don't actually have that much time in senior year to apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need a job?[/

of course he does he’s 17

OP boys are annoying at that age don’t ingage

He will be nice again age 21

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem like the correct usage of the phrase. My son uses this when I am trying to psychoanalyze him or one of his friends, and why they are not doing what they need to do (I know, I need to try not to do this, as it is not helpful). If you're just telling him to get something done, it doesn't make sense as a response.