Think DC might have ADHD but others aren't worried - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I have suspected my kid since about age 3. I was told he would grow out of it. I was told kids aren't meant to sit still. I was told Covid zoom school is hard for all the kids. I was told he would catch up after Covid. Every year I asked. Every year I got excuses.

I finally got testing and I was right. Medication and an IEP and therapy have been a game changer. Still a lot of work to be done and maturity to happen, but the day we got the diagnosis was the best day ever, we could finally work towards the support he needed.

[Anonymous]

A diagnosis gets you drugs.

For everything else, you parent the kid to teach life skills including executive functioning.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t bother with testing unless he needs medication or accommodations at school.

[Anonymous]

It's worth getting evaluated because with inattentive, academics get exponentially harder. Some of the emotional dysregulation and frustration tolerance smooths out with maturity. Will you consider meds? I would think about this and research it because it's good to have a consensus with your spouse beforehand. Also, consider what else you can streamline with household routines and organization to help from an ADHD perspective. I know I've posted about this before but the book "organization solutions for people with adhd" helped me figure out why things weren't working for my kid.

One other thing: when ADHD (or really any neurodivergence, mental illness, or genetic condition) runs in your family and you start to observe it in your child, resist the urge to infer, predict, or catastrophize. I remind myself, almost as a mantra, that my child is not the same person as my relative and my family is not the same as my family of origin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's worth getting evaluated because with inattentive, academics get exponentially harder. Some of the emotional dysregulation and frustration tolerance smooths out with maturity. Will you consider meds? I would think about this and research it because it's good to have a consensus with your spouse beforehand. Also, consider what else you can streamline with household routines and organization to help from an ADHD perspective. I know I've posted about this before but the book "organization solutions for people with adhd" helped me figure out why things weren't working for my kid.

One other thing: when ADHD (or really any neurodivergence, mental illness, or genetic condition) runs in your family and you start to observe it in your child, resist the urge to infer, predict, or catastrophize. I remind myself, almost as a mantra, that my child is not the same person as my relative and my family is not the same as my family of origin.

Thanks. I will look into the book. As a parent I really struggle with physical stuff and routines. I've learned a lot from ADHD organizational routines for myself (don't think I have it, they're just useful), and am trying to teach my kid, but it's REALLY HARD to struggle with this myself and also have to be the external brain for a kid who has to do stuff himself (e.g. he's not a toddler whose shoes I can put on, he has preferences about which book to bring in the car, etc).

I think the impacts for my kid are larger at home than school because school just isn't very demanding yet. I do worry about it getting worse when school is harder and would pursue treatment then if needed, so maybe it's better to get diagnosed earlier to speed that up, but also harder if the issues aren't major. Teachers have definitely noticed some of the attention issues, but said he's still doing well and they're not too concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe helpful:

https://www.additudemag.com/preschoolers-adhd/?src=embed_ss

I think there is potential harm to “wait and see.” Possibly shame in not being able to control himself and always being the “bad kid” or troublemaker needing constant correction. Being ostracized by peers, etc.

Yes, definitely harmful to wait. Get him fully assessed not just for ADHD but also for SLDs which are highly comorbid with ADHD. (Many ADHD kids have reading comprehension difficulties related to their ADHD, but not presenting in 3rd grade because reading isn't long form yet and smart kids can otherwise compensate with their own knowledge base. If diagnosed See a psychiatrist for meds, even if you don't want to do meds now. Get a therapist who is educated in ADHD. Fill in with tutoring as soon as needed in math, writing, reading comp and social skills.

Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in the DMV? See if you can get a reduced cost evaluation through the University of Maryland Psychology Clinic. It's not free but it's also not $5000.

https://psyc.umd.edu/clinics/clin-psychology-clinic

You can also go through your pediatrician to see if meds are the right answer and try to see the the school can do some kind of evaluation to at least get him some help there during the day. Good luck.

+1. Mason has one too. However, at age 9 I would get it done ASAP. Middle school is right around the corner and these lower cost clinics have long waitlists.

[Anonymous]

We are not in the DMV area, but I always see people on here talking about expensive neuropsych evals - we just got an ADHD dx from our family doctor at a well visit.

My youngest has more profound special needs (including ADHD) but we just use in-network PM&R and pediatric neurology providers and pay a $40 copay. If I wanted to book with in network neuropsych, I could do that too. Our insurance is OK and our in network providers are just OK in terms of scheduling (we've lived many places where it's quicker to get appointments) but we've still not had to wait more than a couple months to see any specialist, except the developmental pediatrician. Then once you're in as a pt you can schedule all your follow up appointments easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not in the DMV area, but I always see people on here talking about expensive neuropsych evals - we just got an ADHD dx from our family doctor at a well visit.

My youngest has more profound special needs (including ADHD) but we just use in-network PM&R and pediatric neurology providers and pay a $40 copay. If I wanted to book with in network neuropsych, I could do that too. Our insurance is OK and our in network providers are just OK in terms of scheduling (we've lived many places where it's quicker to get appointments) but we've still not had to wait more than a couple months to see any specialist, except the developmental pediatrician. Then once you're in as a pt you can schedule all your follow up appointments easily.

That’s cute, but DMV area providers who take insurance have wait lists more than a year long.

[Anonymous]

That’s cute, but DMV area providers who take insurance have wait lists more than a year long.

It would be a long time here to see a neuropsych as well, but I don't know why the first stop is a comprehensive neuropsych exam instead of a GP. They can diagnose and prescribe medications for ADHD. If you need more help managing medications, go to a psychiatrist. They are all easier to get in with than a neuropsych. You can get on a waitlist with an in-network neuropsych in the meantime but at least get started with other providers. We used to live in the area, so I appreciate that we have a lower COL in our current city (private pay diagnostic exam is 1500 at a no-wait clinic), but I didn't find wait times for in-network specialists worse in VA than where we are now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe helpful:

https://www.additudemag.com/preschoolers-adhd/?src=embed_ss

I think there is potential harm to “wait and see.” Possibly shame in not being able to control himself and always being the “bad kid” or troublemaker needing constant correction. Being ostracized by peers, etc.

+1

Even if he's not diagnosed, an evaluation would entail suggestions about how to help him function better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe helpful:

https://www.additudemag.com/preschoolers-adhd/?src=embed_ss

I think there is potential harm to “wait and see.” Possibly shame in not being able to control himself and always being the “bad kid” or troublemaker needing constant correction. Being ostracized by peers, etc.

Yes, definitely harmful to wait. Get him fully assessed not just for ADHD but also for SLDs which are highly comorbid with ADHD. (Many ADHD kids have reading comprehension difficulties related to their ADHD, but not presenting in 3rd grade because reading isn't long form yet and smart kids can otherwise compensate with their own knowledge base. If diagnosed See a psychiatrist for meds, even if you don't want to do meds now. Get a therapist who is educated in ADHD. Fill in with tutoring as soon as needed in math, writing, reading comp and social skills.

Ask me how I know.

+1

~ mom of a kid who was diagnosed as a high school sophomore, wish we had caught on earlier

[Anonymous]

This sounds like classic ADHD. Get his evaluated, don't wait.

[Anonymous]

Have you requested a school evaluation? They may say no if they aren’t concerned at all, but you’ll be able to meet with people like the school psychologist who will be a bit more informed on ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds like an immature 9 year old who may also have ADHD.

+1. Signed, parent of an immature 9 year old with ADHD

+2!