Think DC might have ADHD but others aren't worried - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a sibling with severe ADHD that significantly impacted daily life, so I am a bit more aware of and sensitive to symptoms than my DH.

I think my 9 year old DS has some challenges and habits that are very familiar from my sibling, but it's been hard to puzzle out what's age appropriate vs potentially a symptom over the years. DH and teachers aren't concerned because he's doing very well in school...but I'm keeping track. If you had a kid with these characteristics, would you just keep watch in case it becomes more of an issue, or would you get some kind of evaluation? We do not have a ton of money, so there has to be a purpose beyond curiosity.

The patterns:

-Was one of those kids who never stopped moving until about age 6.

-K & 1st grade: trouble sitting still, trouble staying on tasks instead of chatting with other kids. Was frequently seated alone at a table at the end of the room in 1st to avoid distracting others, which made him feel like he was "a bad kid."

-In 2nd and 3rd, could sit still but distracts others at school sometimes with pencil tapping and humming, needs reminders to stop

-Home and school: trouble following multi-step directions without getting distracted by something and forgetting to follow through. Getting better at this at school, no complaints from 3rd grade teacher. At home, can't tell if this is a "can't" or "won't" issue, e.g. he'll need to set the table for dinner (clear it off, get out napkins and silverware, make sure everyone has water) and will pick up a toy or book after the first step and need multiple reminders to get back on task. I feel like I am constantly on him about things that I think should be habits after weeks/months.

-Forgetfulness about stuff when leaving the house, every. single. time. Needs reminders not only to get it together, but make sure it's actually IN his hands when walking out the door, or else he'll pick up something else and forgets.

-low frustration tolerance for things that don't come easily

-inability to visually search for things. He gave up on an Easter hunt immediately last year while his 3 year old sibling ran around actually looking for the eggs. I'm trying to teach him to look systematically but it's sloooow going.

-we use checklists and timers, but often he needs reminders....to use the checklists and timers.

What's the level at which this is an immature 9 year old, vs something we should do more for?

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds like an immature 9 year old who may also have ADHD.

[Anonymous]

If you’re concerned and can afford it, have him evaluated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re concerned and can afford it, have him evaluated.

Well, that's sort of the issue. We don't have thousands of dollars to throw at something that isn't a pressing need. Is there harm to "wait and see"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds like an immature 9 year old who may also have ADHD.

+1. Signed, parent of an immature 9 year old with ADHD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds like an immature 9 year old who may also have ADHD.

+1. Signed, parent of an immature 9 year old with ADHD

How do you distinguish? What moved you to get your DC diagnosed?

[Anonymous]

Maybe helpful:

https://www.additudemag.com/preschoolers-adhd/?src=embed_ss

I think there is potential harm to “wait and see.” Possibly shame in not being able to control himself and always being the “bad kid” or troublemaker needing constant correction. Being ostracized by peers, etc.

[Anonymous]

22:00 poster here.

Just wanted to add that my DC was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) after high school. DC was gifted and a high flyer in school until the executive function issues started to become too much. There was a lot of internal blaming which led to depression, school refusal, etc.

I think if DC had been evaluated earlier things might not have gotten so bad.

[Anonymous]

You may be able to get an evaluation from your pediatrician or other source and have it covered by insurance. You do not need a full neuropsych for adhd diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

Are you in the DMV? See if you can get a reduced cost evaluation through the University of Maryland Psychology Clinic. It's not free but it's also not $5000.

https://psyc.umd.edu/clinics/clin-psychology-clinic

You can also go through your pediatrician to see if meds are the right answer and try to see the the school can do some kind of evaluation to at least get him some help there during the day. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in the DMV? See if you can get a reduced cost evaluation through the University of Maryland Psychology Clinic. It's not free but it's also not $5000.

https://psyc.umd.edu/clinics/clin-psychology-clinic

You can also go through your pediatrician to see if meds are the right answer and try to see the the school can do some kind of evaluation to at least get him some help there during the day. Good luck.

I'll add that your DC sounds just like my 9 yo DC that was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. We paid to have all of the evals, etc It's so expensive so I sympathize, but I really think this is going to help my DC a lot in school (especially the plan to help with classroom work, the extra attention from the teacher and extra time for tests, etc). A lot of chatter I hear from adults who were not diagnosed as children is that they wish that they had been screened and treated because it does a number on your self esteem.

[Anonymous]

OP what are you seeing at school? In activities? Socially with classmates? For an ADHD diagnosis there should be an effect in all areas of life.

[Anonymous]

I’m
Surprised teachers haven’t suggested it. If he was placed at the end of a table for being disruptive that should have been a clue.
My 11yo just got diagnosed thru mcps. She’s at private but teachers were concerned so we went they mcps for evaluation. She has adhd inattentive type.
I’d talk to teachers and see if they will support a referral

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m
Surprised teachers haven’t suggested it. If he was placed at the end of a table for being disruptive that should have been a clue.
My 11yo just got diagnosed thru mcps. She’s at private but teachers were concerned so we went they mcps for evaluation. She has adhd inattentive type.
I’d talk to teachers and see if they will support a referral

DP - My experience was that I noticed my DC was having trouble with attention in K and asked the teachers every year until 3rd if they noticed something. The teachers only said yes DC has trouble with attention when DC got to 3rd grade. DC was diagnosed with moderate ADHD inattentive type. I think the inattentive-types don't get as much negative attention and teachers often overlook them and chalk up the behavior to their age group. If you notice it and your kid notices it in themselves, trust your gut and talk to your pediatrician. We could have evaluated earlier but I didn't want to be overly aggressive. Turns out I was right, and should have said something to the pediatrician earlier to get the ball rolling. We haven't lost too much time, but it takes a while to get evaluated, get meds and/or therapy and find a plan that works.

[Anonymous]

This was my kid. In 3rd grade, evaluation came back negative for ADHD, in part because teacher didn't report problems (but in big public school, not being on fire meant everything was fine). In 5th grade, when his expectations increased, we did another evaluation and ADHD was diagnosed. He's on 8th grade now and medication is essential.