Trying to help my friend age 49 goof looking and younger looking- attny nice guy find a nice gal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a bogus posting b/c the email address Lisa gave does not work.

Oh, bummer. Thanks for warning us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he definitely up for being a step-dad? Because that comes with the territory with respect to posters on DCUM.

Not necessarily. I know a few 40-something women in this area who don't have kids. Especially around here, there are some career women who haven't started families.

Well, if this is OP replying and your friend is such a catch then he should have at least found a "career woman" as a girlfriend by now. Or he is completely socially inept and can't get a woman to date him on his own. Maybe he needs to find a clueless 20 something girl.

[Anonymous]

If he's rich, I am very interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, if this is OP replying and your friend is such a catch then he should have at least found a "career woman" as a girlfriend by now. Or he is completely socially inept and can't get a woman to date him on his own. Maybe he needs to find a clueless 20 something girl.

I'm 9:58 and I'm not the OP. I was just responding to your post.

I think that's unfair. I know some really nice 40something single people. Sometimes you just don't get lucky and meet the right person at the right time. I don't automatically assume that someone who's single and 40 is socially inept. That's a tough criticism.

[Anonymous]

Is he looking for women in their 40's or younger? Is he looking to have kids? He might have more in common with a woman in her 40's, but unfortunately I've found that most of my 40-something guy friends without kids are trying to find much younger women so they can wait a few years and then have kids. Which is kind of annoying to me. (I'm 38 and don't care if I have another kid or not, but I get kind of offended that my awesome girlfriends are being rejected due to their age, by guys who just aren't all that.)

I do have some seriously attractive, smart, cool women friends who are around 40 and would like to meet a nice guy who is reasonably tall and intelligent. Most don't have kids. A couple of them would consider having kids under the right circumstances. I also have some 30-something friends who are single, but most of them would find 49 too old.

A friend of mine has monthly "First Friday" happy hours in local bars (usually Arlington VA) that he might enjoy. I can send you the details this fall when the happy hours start up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he looking for women in their 40's or younger? Is he looking to have kids? He might have more in common with a woman in her 40's, but unfortunately I've found that most of my 40-something guy friends without kids are trying to find much younger women so they can wait a few years and then have kids. Which is kind of annoying to me. (I'm 38 and don't care if I have another kid or not, but I get kind of offended that my awesome girlfriends are being rejected due to their age, by guys who just aren't all that.)

I do have some seriously attractive, smart, cool women friends who are around 40 and would like to meet a nice guy who is reasonably tall and intelligent. Most don't have kids. A couple of them would consider having kids under the right circumstances. I also have some 30-something friends who are single, but most of them would find 49 too old.

A friend of mine has monthly "First Friday" happy hours in local bars (usually Arlington VA) that he might enjoy. I can send you the details this fall when the happy hours start up again.

I wonder why a guy who's 40-something would want to 'wait a few years' before having kids. Wait for what? Retirement????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he looking for women in their 40's or younger? Is he looking to have kids? He might have more in common with a woman in her 40's, but unfortunately I've found that most of my 40-something guy friends without kids are trying to find much younger women so they can wait a few years and then have kids. Which is kind of annoying to me. (I'm 38 and don't care if I have another kid or not, but I get kind of offended that my awesome girlfriends are being rejected due to their age, by guys who just aren't all that.)

I do have some seriously attractive, smart, cool women friends who are around 40 and would like to meet a nice guy who is reasonably tall and intelligent. Most don't have kids. A couple of them would consider having kids under the right circumstances. I also have some 30-something friends who are single, but most of them would find 49 too old.

A friend of mine has monthly "First Friday" happy hours in local bars (usually Arlington VA) that he might enjoy. I can send you the details this fall when the happy hours start up again.

I wonder why a guy who's 40-something would want to 'wait a few years' before having kids. Wait for what? Retirement????

I was thinking the same thing. If I met someone who was 40 something and said he wanted to wait to have kids I would think he is just saying he wanted kids cuz he thought that's what I wanted to hear, but he really doesn't want them.

[Anonymous]

PP here with the 40-something guy friends. I see it like this: these guys weren't ready or didn't want to get married in their 20's. And they weren't ready or didn't want to get married in their 30's. (let's face it - most guys who want to get married probably could, because most women want to get married. Marriage tends to be more of a buyer's market for men.) Now they're older and they *think* they're ready, but the idea still scares them a bit so they figure if they find a younger woman, they don't have to have the babies RIGHT AWAY. And I think some of them are using this as an excuse to try to date much-younger women instead of women closer to their own ages. they avoid being labeled "shallow" by saying "oh, it's for babies."

If I think that's the reason, I generally pull out the "well, you know that they've discovered a statistically significant higher incidence of autism in babies with fathers who were older than 40 at conception. So it's not just the women who shouldn't have babies too old."

I got a little indignant last month when an ex got bitter and nasty because one of my friends talked to him for a bit and then lost interest and moved on. I think the problem was that he's not very bright and she figured this out after a short conversation. (it's the main reason I dumped him, though the "comes off as a nice guy but gets nasty and bitter at the slightest provocation" was also a factor.) He told me she was too old for him anyway because he wanted kids and at almost-40, she probably couldn't have them. He's around 46 and I suspect that the reason he hasn't found the right woman yet is because nobody wants to perpetuate his "not attractive enough to be as dumb as he is" genes. but I kept that to myself.