Chatty spouse, remote work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same issue with DW. Just the incessant nattering about the most inconsequential people and irrelevant conversations. There is only so much nodding and “really?” I can manage.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my husband. He has adhd. He can talk about the most random stuff at the oddest times. He too can not read body language or social cues. Good thing he is trying to medicate but it’s not working… it’s truly him at the end of the day. I am a human being and fully capable of telling him “not right now.” “I need to get back to work.” Etc

+1 yep

OP does your spouse have ADHD?

[Anonymous]

I just have to tell mine, I am working right now, I’ll come find you when I have a break.

[Anonymous]

Headphones and a room screen, plus a gentle but firm conversation. If it’s possible to build a door to your office, consider doing that, even if it’s French doors with windows or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just have to tell mine, I am working right now, I’ll come find you when I have a break.

+1 that's what I do, too - we do it to each other, though. just have different ebb times when we feel like chatting. we're both pretty good at not taking it personally if the other person tells us to go away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have an agreement that he doesn't interrupt your work, but as the chatty spouse in my marriage I have to say I really appreciate my husband explicitly saying "I'd really like to just read my book and wind down right now, can we chat later?" And as long as we actually do, even if it's the next day or something, that's fine. What kills me is being endured.

Agree. I’m the chatty spouse too and I literally had to tell my spouse “Just say this. I’ll leave you alone if you do.”

I’ve gone to therapy more than he has so setting normal boundaries is second nature to me. They also don’t offend me. Every relationship needs boundaries.