Ex showed up drunk
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Honestly how do you know you want to marry him if you haven’t lived together yet? |
Anonymous
| How old are you guys? |
Anonymous
| Full stop |
Anonymous
OP here. I know what kind of man he is. We also pretty much live together with anything official. We are with each other every weekend and most week nights. He’s only ever gone for business ( rare) or if he needs to stay at his place. |
Anonymous
OP here. We are 30 and 31. |
Anonymous
|
If you want to keep trying, reach out. Give him time to talk and see what his thoughts are in a calm manner.
I’d suggest he bring over takeout tonight and you have an adult conversation over dinner, sober. |
Anonymous
OP here. This is the second time I’ve ever witnessed him drunk. The other was at his best friends wedding. We both only drink maybe 1-2 times a month and that’s only a 1-2 drinks. |
Anonymous
| He doesn't sound like he has a pattern of drunkenness so it's not a red flag from that perspective. He sounds immature. Whether or not he grows up in time to save the relationship is up to him. Just stick with to what you told him and tell him you're moving on unless he figures out what he wants. |
Anonymous
I mean, this. Unless this is a habit, it's not really a "red flag." He was self-medicating and feeling sorry for himself. And exhibited some bad judgment. I had an ex do this once. In the light of day, he calmed down and apologized. We didn't work out for reasons having nothing to do with this incident. And I was annoyed having to deal with him that night. But, it never happened again and I just recognized it for what it was: he was sad we weren't working out. |
Anonymous
|
OP, why is your self-respect so low that you tolerate this kind of behavior.
|
Anonymous
OP here. My self-respect isn’t low. He has been amazing partner thus far and I don’t feel like forgiving him for one bad night makes me lack self-respect. |
Anonymous
|
I don't know all of your history but it seems like you both are good people that don't know how to be in a relationship. Could it be that you are both playing patterns learned from your parents? Could your past failed relationships be the reason you are both terrible at communication.
Perhaps if you both want to move this relationship forward you should see a couples counselor. |
Anonymous
|
Sorry sounds like a drunk dial booty call gone wrong and or he was too drunk to drive home and you were the closest to the bar and or the first one or only one to answer his call or text.
Just saying… give it a few weeks at least. Most men can’t be alone for very long, so if you broke it off with him, there’s a good chance he was out at the bar looking for your replacement. Also even if you take him back his head will be on a swivel looking for a more reliable alternative to you so, while he keeps you around for convenience he will be developing other relationships “friendships” just in case he needs to call up a reserve. See point above most men can’t be alone so he’s not getting caught high and dry the next time you decide to “break it off”. |
Anonymous
OP here. He drank at his friends house and took an Uber 9 miles to my home. He wasn’t looking for a bootycall. He was single for over a year before we got together and he didn’t sleep with anyone during that time. |
Anonymous
|
I don't understand what you mean by a commitment.
Do you mean: Monogamy/sexual exclusivity Mingled finances Engagement Definite near-term wedding plans No way I'd be living with someone who is still dating others... |